Mother-in-law demands money for sneakers given to husband

“It is not the first time that a mother-in-law’s disservice has been poured into a tidy sum. Some strange gifts from Vera Lvovna. And she believes that she shows care, says Tanya. Now Tatiana is on maternity leave, raising her son, her husband works, but they do not have enough money. My husband’s mother and wife’s parents help as much as they can. But Tanya no longer wants help from her mother-in-law.



Soon Vanya will be two years old, but for now I am on maternity leave. Now my husband and I are not easy, but we try not to be discouraged, although the money is sorely lacking. Even with a salary, we can’t always buy new clothes for our son. And recently Valera came in happy like this, brought a box. Opens, and there are new men's shoes.



It turned out that the mother-in-law gave his son shoes, we were very happy, because at that time we could not afford such a purchase. A couple of days later, my mother-in-law called me and asked me in the forehead when I would pay her back for her husband's shoes. I didn't know what I was talking about. And then I remembered the new thing. Then I said it was a gift, what money if we make ends meet. Why, then, did I buy shoes?



And the mother-in-law replied that she could not watch Valera in old shabby shoes walking in the cold. So she bought him shoes and expected us to pay her back later. Vera Lvovna is a pensioner, she lives alone, so she really spent. Of course we got the money back.



But for Vanya's birthday, Vera Lvovna gave him a table for feeding. And then I told you again to get the money back. This is the first time I've seen it, honestly. How can you give a gift and demand money for it? The table is not cheap, they say, she is not sorry for her grandson. But that's ridiculous!



Vera Lvovna came again with her help this week. I was sitting with my parents in the kitchen and the doorbell rang. When I opened it, I saw Vera Lvovna with a large bag of meat in her hands. She rushed in the bag and put raw meat on the table. She said she bought it at a bargain price. I already knew how it would end, I was sick of this help. So I threw Vera Lvovna and her meat out the door and told her that I would buy the meat I thought I needed.



My mother-in-law was offended, now she does not talk to me and expects me to come to ask her forgiveness. Here we go. It's not help, it's a real disservice. Why help me when she knows exactly where we are. Let it not help at all then. Who wants that? I believe that I did everything right, henceforth I do not accept gifts from my mother-in-law and my husband was forbidden to accept any help from her. I'm sorry that my husband has to give money when we can't make ends meet without these gifts. But I know the situation is temporary, I'll be back at work soon, and then everything will be fine. The relationship with the mother-in-law is ruined.”



It is difficult to imagine what Vera Lvovna thought when she made such gifts to a young family. No matter how much money a person has, everyone knows that gifts are not paid. If you have to pay for a gift, it is a purchase. The mother-in-law thinks that she knows better how to live for a young family and that they need more this second, but financially Vera Lvovna can not help, so she does such favors. We can't do without talking. It's time to explain to her mother-in-law that her gifts and favors make life difficult for her children. What would you do in Tatiana’s place?