My parents didn’t want to pay for my wedding, so we celebrated it in the hostel. Bashny.Net

“Five years ago I got married, my husband and I had a modest wedding, as at that time we were students and celebrated in a small circle of friends in the dormitory,” recalls Marina. It seems nothing strange, now students do not see the point of throwing money to the wind to walk out a magnificent wedding. Many people don’t have the money, but parents are always there for their kids’ weddings.



I married a classmate in the 3rd year. When he proposed to me, my parents refused to participate in the organization of the wedding and help financially. My mom told me right away that this relationship wouldn't last long, so she and Dad wouldn't be involved. So we quietly signed and celebrated the event with friends in the hostel. My parents didn’t congratulate me that day.



It's been 5 years. We graduated in absentia, moved to a rented apartment. I recently had a son. And during all this time, all I got from my parents was messages of congratulations on the holidays. I came to terms with the fact that I am an older sister, and all the attention of my parents went to Ole, and it continues to this day.



“Parents and youngest daughter have a wonderful relationship, just the perfect family.” All my life I was pinned down, told that I should be independent and achieve everything myself. It was the opposite with Ola. She is a long-awaited child, and even though she is 2 years younger, I always wore things behind her, because Olya grew by leaps and bounds. No wonder I was a probationary child, but for Oli mom and dad did not regret anything.



They enrolled their daughter in educational circles, paid tutors. I remember how Olenka chose a prestigious university in the capital, but did not go to the budget. Naturally, her parents agreed to pay for her studies. When I entered, I was immediately told that I was either applying or paying for my studies. It's good that I went on a budget.



Now we almost do not communicate with my parents, my life has improved, my husband has received a promotion. We're doing it ourselves. I was really lucky with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. They gave us an apartment for the wedding. It had to be renovated, so we can only move now that we've cleaned it up. And my parents gave me reticent congratulations on having a baby, as if they didn't care that they had a grandson.



My mother called me a week ago. I was even surprised, because usually everything comes with dry messages. And then she was all emotionally told me about Oli's wedding, that her fiancé was handsome and well done. And the funny thing is, they think I should take out a loan for Olina's wedding. At this point, I began to laugh hysterically, to tears. The parents have no money, they will not be given a loan, because they took the apartment in a mortgage for the newlyweds. God, this is so unfair. By the way, I wasn't invited to the wedding. I wish my sister happiness, it is not her fault that she is loved more, but I will not give money. Once they have found money for an apartment, they collect money for a wedding.”



From the editorial board, children's grievances are the strongest. Even if parents say they love their children equally, they don’t. There are studies based on which scientists have found that parents actually love younger children more. But it's not just that. The perception of older children is also very important. If the eldest child decided that he was disliked for some reason in childhood, he will resent his parents for the rest of his life if he does not go to a psychologist and deal with his cockroaches in his head. But sometimes it's important to talk to your parents about what's bothering you. Situations are different, and growing up, we begin to understand mom and dad better, look at things from a different angle. What would you do if you were Marina?