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In order not to seem a stale cracker and support a loved one, forget standard phrases, learn to empathize
It's not easy for each of us right now. At one point, life changed dramatically. The war erased plans and dreams, leaving only uncertainty and vague hopes. It is more important than ever to support yourself and those around you. Standing shoulder to shoulder, we can overcome everything and win. Let’s start with the fact that we learn to say words of support to loved ones that will really help and calm down.
Takprosto Edition "Site" Replace standard phrases that do not support. Together we learn to truly empathize.
Our feelings may not seem so important against the background of the grief that other people are experiencing. However, devaluing your own feelings and problems is not an option. This is what prevents us from fully empathizing with others. Hardly anyone was comforted by the fact that others are worse off now. It’s important to know that your feelings are important too.
We're not in a competition for the one who hurts the most. Everyone hurts for a reason. And now is not the time to measure up. Never the time. It is impossible to say that one is worse than another. Everyone has their own. It is important to understand and accept this. First, you need to legalize this rule for yourself. Recognize that your feelings are important, too. If necessary, ask for support from others.
Only then will you have the resources to help others. When someone comes to you for support, it’s important to show that you have compassion. It is also important to learn not to devalue other people’s feelings. Forget the standard phrases and replace them with the correct words. Let’s be honest, no one has ever gotten better from throwing “don’t worry”. Let's take a couple of options.
"You'll think..." From the creators, “I also have a problem” and “don’t invent too much.” Remember, these are not words of support. You seem to be trying to downplay the human problem, make it less global, but you're devaluing it. Even if it seems to you that these are insignificant difficulties, for another they can be unbearable. So it's important not to devalue, but to show that you're really sympathetic. For example, you can say, “I’m here, I’m ready to listen to you.”
"Don't cry." It's basically the same here. All these “don’t cry”, “don’t be sad”, “it’s not worth crying”, “you exaggerate” tell the person that his problems are insignificant in your eyes. It also looks like you're telling someone how they should feel. It is better to say, “I see that it is difficult for you.” What could be your support? ?
"Don't worry." Perhaps the most annoying of the standard phrases. She has no support whatsoever. You're just telling a man he shouldn't feel. Like you don't like what he's going through. It is better to say gently that it is normal to be sad in his situation. Accept his feelings, listen to the story. This is more valuable than a meaningless phrase.
"It's gonna be okay." Again, a phrase on duty, for which nothing is worth it. You can't know how it's gonna be. Which means you can't promise that. Don’t make any promises you can’t be 100% sure of. It would be more appropriate to offer your help. For example, you can say, “I’ll help you with this.” We will solve this problem together.” But only if you are really willing to help.
Thanks to the right words and sincere support, we can overcome all difficulties. And remember, sometimes it's more important to just be around. You can even say nothing, just listen to the person and hug.
Earlier we wrote about how to preserve the psyche during the war. Find a way that suits you. Be kind to yourself and your loved ones. When there is a mountain around, it is very important to keep the person inside. The war will end and we will have to move on. Take care, dear reader.
Takprosto Edition "Site" Replace standard phrases that do not support. Together we learn to truly empathize.
Our feelings may not seem so important against the background of the grief that other people are experiencing. However, devaluing your own feelings and problems is not an option. This is what prevents us from fully empathizing with others. Hardly anyone was comforted by the fact that others are worse off now. It’s important to know that your feelings are important too.
We're not in a competition for the one who hurts the most. Everyone hurts for a reason. And now is not the time to measure up. Never the time. It is impossible to say that one is worse than another. Everyone has their own. It is important to understand and accept this. First, you need to legalize this rule for yourself. Recognize that your feelings are important, too. If necessary, ask for support from others.
Only then will you have the resources to help others. When someone comes to you for support, it’s important to show that you have compassion. It is also important to learn not to devalue other people’s feelings. Forget the standard phrases and replace them with the correct words. Let’s be honest, no one has ever gotten better from throwing “don’t worry”. Let's take a couple of options.
"You'll think..." From the creators, “I also have a problem” and “don’t invent too much.” Remember, these are not words of support. You seem to be trying to downplay the human problem, make it less global, but you're devaluing it. Even if it seems to you that these are insignificant difficulties, for another they can be unbearable. So it's important not to devalue, but to show that you're really sympathetic. For example, you can say, “I’m here, I’m ready to listen to you.”
"Don't cry." It's basically the same here. All these “don’t cry”, “don’t be sad”, “it’s not worth crying”, “you exaggerate” tell the person that his problems are insignificant in your eyes. It also looks like you're telling someone how they should feel. It is better to say, “I see that it is difficult for you.” What could be your support? ?
"Don't worry." Perhaps the most annoying of the standard phrases. She has no support whatsoever. You're just telling a man he shouldn't feel. Like you don't like what he's going through. It is better to say gently that it is normal to be sad in his situation. Accept his feelings, listen to the story. This is more valuable than a meaningless phrase.
"It's gonna be okay." Again, a phrase on duty, for which nothing is worth it. You can't know how it's gonna be. Which means you can't promise that. Don’t make any promises you can’t be 100% sure of. It would be more appropriate to offer your help. For example, you can say, “I’ll help you with this.” We will solve this problem together.” But only if you are really willing to help.
Thanks to the right words and sincere support, we can overcome all difficulties. And remember, sometimes it's more important to just be around. You can even say nothing, just listen to the person and hug.
Earlier we wrote about how to preserve the psyche during the war. Find a way that suits you. Be kind to yourself and your loved ones. When there is a mountain around, it is very important to keep the person inside. The war will end and we will have to move on. Take care, dear reader.
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