How to properly encourage a person

In the life of every person there comes a moment when you want to become weak for at least a moment and pour out a soul to someone. This is a normal human reaction to stress, problems and life troubles. Sometimes, however, this conversation only gets worse.





Imagine that you tell a person about your innermost experiences and troubles, pour out your soul, and in response you get a completely banal answer. After that, I don’t want to talk anymore... To avoid such situations, the editorial board "Site" I have collected for you 8 phrases that the person does not want to hear from the interlocutor. Learning the art of dialogue.

How to cheer people up

1. "It's gonna be okay."
   For some reason, many people think that this is the best. cheer-phrase They want to put it in any dialogue. But this is almost the most banal dictum of all existing. Hearing this, the interlocutor will think that you just want to quickly end the conversation and you are not interested in listening. If you really don’t want to, then you shouldn’t say that. It will be especially inappropriate in cases where a person experiences a loss. Yes, someday everything will be fine (although this is such a vague concept), but now he is not well and needs to cope with it. It is best to offer your help, express sympathy, or simply be silent and listen to the person.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. "There's nothing you can do..."
   This phrase will only make a person worse, it inspires such despair that no consolation will help. If a person tells you about his problem, then he is not ready to go through it and accept it. And then you tell him that you need to move on and nothing can be done. It's annoying. If you understand that there is really nothing to do in such a situation, try not to remind you of it again. Just be with the person, let him talk.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. "It'll pass."
   When, in response to a frank monologue, a person hears some banality like “time heals”, “this will pass”, it only causes irritation. Everyone knows that everything bad passes and is forgotten with time, but we live now and it is at this moment that we experience unpleasant feelings. In personal and emotional dialogue, it is better to refrain from such phrases. Try to say something of your own so that the interlocutor feels that you care that you listened to him.
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Forget it!
   A phrase that devalues everything a person has told you. A friend was telling you something secret, and you just waved and said, "Oh, come on, or there will be more." Few people would enjoy it, would they? If you can't come up with a solution, then at least listen, express sympathy and support. This will show your participation, and the person will feel that he is important to you.
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. “That's a problem? And here I am.
   Some people think that this phrase brings you closer to the interlocutor. But it's exactly the opposite. When you start talking about yourself in response, it seems that you want to change the conversation. First, it's upsetting, because the person wanted to share their experiences, and in the end hears about yours, and secondly, it looks like moralizing, they say, but then I did this, and you can't. People will just get upset and feel stupid. Let him speak, and only then share his personal experience, if the interlocutor wants it.
   
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6. "It gets worse."
   This phrase is similar to the previous one. So people try to encourage and console, and in the end devalue what is happening. Again, this phrase is annoying and makes it clear that his problems are not that important to you. Even worse, if you try to tell a story in which someone can easily overcome the same difficulties. You're wrong if you think stories like this motivate you. No, they make you feel stupid, because someone has managed to go through something different, and you can't handle a little detail.
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. "The head should have thought."
   The worst thing you can do when someone tells you something is to blame them. The phrases “and I told you”, “should have thought before...” only aggravate the situation and upset the person. If you can help solve the problem, suggest how to do it. Discuss, support, but don’t blame a person for everything, he is already bad.
   
   
   
   
   
   
8. "It's all my fault."
   But it is not necessary to fully justify a person if obvious mistakes are visible. There are times when you cannot hide the truth. If you see that a friend is blatantly wrong, it is better to point out his mistakes than to simply agree with him. Someday he will realize the real situation and be angry that you didn’t open his eyes to what is happening. It is best to gently point out the person’s mistakes. Show him you're on his side anyway, and you're just trying to improve his life.
   
   
   
   
   
   

Familiar phrases, aren't they? Everyone at least once in their life heard or said it themselves. But it is better to forget them and never repeat them again. It is not easy to cheer up and comfort a person, but sometimes it is better to remain silent than to say banal and worn-out phrases, from which there is no use anyway.

The art of dialogue is subtle. You need to learn to choose words that will not hurt or hurt the feelings of the interlocutor. For example, recently we told you what phrases should not say childfree.

We also wrote about what 10 phrases in any case should not say a man.

If the conversation went wrong, it should be urgently stopped. We shared 6 phrases that will help you to end any unpleasant conversation.

What words do you choose to comfort friends and family? Share your life hacks in the comments.