I called Svatya and said that we urgently need to buy children an apartment, because without our help, children are not capable of anything. Bashny.Net

“I try to help children as much as I can, which can not be said about my matchmakers,” says Elena Borisovna. She believes that ensuring the well-being of children who have already created a family is a direct responsibility of parents. On this basis, she had a disagreement with the mother of her son-in-law.

The subtleties of parenting in families are always different. The problem is that people try to impose their values on others. When the worldview does not coincide, there is a conflict situation that is difficult to resolve.



My daughter has been married for 6 years. My husband and I gave the young family an apartment. We do everything we can to help our children. We helped repair the apartment and bought furniture. Spending time with grandchildren is a pleasure, so we never refuse to sit with them when mom and dad need to be away. My son-in-law is a very good man. But matchmakers do not help children to get on their feet.



I have two little granddaughters. The youngest and mother are at home, and the eldest must be taken from school. After a day, my husband and I go to work. Sometimes we have lunch, sometimes we go home. I am amazed at the inaction of matchmakers. It is as if they have no children or grandchildren. They live for themselves, constantly go abroad on excursions and enjoy life. I don’t see the kids, that’s been the case since the wedding.



Then they gave a modest envelope to the young. At first, the money would probably be enough, but certainly not for 6 years. And now, all the more need to help. To raise grandkids somehow. We have a one-bedroom apartment with two children in it. There were a lot of things, toys, a wheelchair.

Children grow up very quickly and they also need personal space. At first I decided to talk to my son-in-law, said that it would be good to think about an apartment of two or even three. If he can’t make money, why not ask his parents for help? Matchmakers live together in a three-room spacious apartment, you could even change.



My brother-in-law refused to listen to me and forbade me to communicate with his parents on this topic. He is good, but pride prevents him from getting what he wants. You see, he's ashamed to take money from his parents, and he's not ashamed to live at our expense. All these years he lives in the apartment we bought, pays only utility bills. Apparently, he lives comfortably, and he does not want to change anything. It's not a case!



While we were young, we were able to make money on our square meters. It's even easier now. But I can see that the son-in-law is not straining. Worked 8 hours in the office and home on the couch. I called Svatya, said that I should help to buy children a room more spacious, and she replied that she did not have such an opportunity. My daughter is offended that I started this conversation and that it is none of my business. How can I help my children if I just want to help them?



Life wisdom and editorial advice Mikhail Labkovsky wrote a good book “I want and will”. It deals with the relationship between parents and children. Interestingly, the mother of the bride herself offers help, worries and cares. But it is obvious that no one asked her for help, she imposed herself. Why refuse help? The bottom line is that this behavior is neurotic, according to the psychologist. Perhaps in old age Elena Borisovna sees consolation in the care of children.

She needs it, not her daughters and grandchildren. I recommend reading a useful book that will point out errors in perception and help resolve some family conflicts. Well, if it does not help, then you need to deal with your psychological problems with a psychologist.