How to Take Care of Your Growing Grandma

Loving an intelligent old woman is easy and pleasant. But what about the old and evil Yaga woman? Youth problems with parents are just the tip of the iceberg. They all open up when my mother turns into a grandmother.





A mother is an inviolable, infinite and invisible bond forever. But one day that day will come and it will be old. Understanding and accepting all the meaning that the word contains is a great job. Above me first.

I recently came across a family story about their relationship with their grandmother. No, this is not another psychological tinsel in the style of “what you sow, you reap”. This is a really worthwhile and inspiring text from personal experience.





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“I remember my mother when she was the young grandmother of her first grandchildren. Energetic, confident: two little granddaughters took, put in the back seat of the car, herself behind the wheel - and in the dacha. “Vegetables should only be from the garden!”, “Fresh soup should be cooked every day!”

Your own opinion on each issue multiplied by experience. Related: Why don’t you have anything in the refrigerator? I brought a kladza", "Here, take the money, buy yourself a warm winter jacket, finally!", "You son-in-law, can't you nail the shelf straight? Look at that! And so on, you know.

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What are the main problems of young parents with the older generation? We either reclaim our space and build our boundaries, or we lament the reluctance of the older generation to help us. Sometimes both are in the same bottle.

But suddenly, at some point, you realize that Grandma can no longer climb a sprawling tree to pick apples. Do not go for a walk with grandchildren in a distant forest for mushrooms and berries: breaks legs. Can not take children to the circle and wait there for an hour: from a long sitting in an uncomfortable position begins to hurt the back. It is difficult for her to pick up her grandson from kindergarten: a group on the third floor.

What can I say – she barely reaches us by bus, living in the neighboring neighborhood and sits for a long time in the corridor, resting from the road.





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You minimize the burden on your grandmother, attract a nanny, grown-up siblings. But if you don’t ask her for help with her grandchildren for a long time, she is offended. “You have completely forgotten me,” he says.

Gradually, other concerns in the “retirement triangle” appear and fill her life: pharmacy – doctor – TV. You, your family, your children need to take your own place, but another place.





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The most important thing is that the grandmother realizes that she is loved, she is needed regardless of the availability or absence of help for children and grandchildren. My younger children and I began to periodically come to my grandmother’s house and call her together for a walk in the fresh air. And then lunch at a cafe nearby. Or I buy tickets for something like a White Acacia concert and go there with my mom.

If a grandmother wants to help a family, but she has little strength, you can always find a use for her enthusiasm. “Bake cakes, you taste better than the bakery. I'll come by on Sunday night, pick them up, and my son can take him to school for two days, and he loves them! Make it a tradition if your grandmother can do it.”





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Psychology of the elderly And talking to them is a little different than standard relationship psychology. See tips that will facilitate relations with old parents.

1. Not to logic, but to feelings.
   Older people are guided by stereotypes that are irrelevant in our time. Only patience will help to avoid trouble in communication.
2. Rocking.
   Sometimes, to avoid unnecessary advice, offer to do the work criticized for you. But the eyesight of old people is not the same, and the hands are not so dexterous. Most likely, the fight will end with the words: “Well, do as you know!”
3. Change the place, not the person.
   Old people do not behave capriciously because of increased harmfulness. They are more often guided by feelings, feelings, rather than common sense. Grandma is uncomfortable reaching for the shelves - she makes the table with boxes and packages. It’s hard to take off your shoes – he walks in the house in shoes. Try to organize the space so that it does not cause general inconvenience.
   
   
   
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4. Be interested.
   Nod your head, listen and delve into the details of pension reform. Listen to the dishonesty of the HSEC and inflated prices for buckwheat and butter. Ask questions, however silly and inappropriate. This will not allow the old man to plunge into his own experiences.
5. Keep busy.
   Come up with what you can do, even if you have to quietly redo them. A busy man doesn't have time to grumble. A stack of new newspapers, a couple of new cable channels can do wonders.

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Of course, this is the least you can do for aging parents. Sometimes serious illnesses are exhausted so that no one can psychology It won't help. Flexibility, confidence and respect must be nurtured from the beginning of your relationship.

Is longevity really that scary? Burden? Pity or humility and mercy? Not at all. For example, the very realization that there is an old mother or grandmother nearby gives me strength to live on.

Show your friends this article, it will help you find harmony in relationships with the elderly.