We consult with the priest: the procedure and rules for holding a memorial meal after the funeral. If you are a dead person or a suicide...

No matter what life a person has lived and no matter what actions he has committed, Kingdom of God. We're all one. It is very difficult to accompany close people on their last journey. I don’t want to miss anything and do everything right, especially if I didn’t have time to do it during my lifetime.



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Today, many people are interested in the question, memorializeHow to organize a feast, distribute kalach and handkerchiefs and why close the mirrors in the house? Who makes these rules?

Editorial "Site" For a long time she studied Christian traditions in the Orthodox library. But after consulting with the clergy, we learned where the true teaching is, and where the pagan protective magic is.

We invite you to read the tips for the funeral ceremony. Surely. commemoration It is the desire to help the soul and alleviate its suffering.





Around the memorial there are many folk signs that have become traditions. We are used to following them unquestioningly, being in a state of ignorance and shock. Many people can understand, because they hope that in this way they will drive away the troubles from their family. Here are some of the popular superstitions.

Funeral superstitions
  1. No forks at funerals.
  2. The family does not carry a coffin so that the deceased does not think that his death is happy.
  3. All mirrors in the house where the deceased is located should be covered with black cloth.
  4. At the memorial dinner, the deceased is given a separate place at the table, with a glass of alcohol covered with a piece of bread, and a plate with a spoon.
  5. Children under 6 and pregnant women are not allowed to attend funerals.
  6. If the deceased is in the house, there can not be cleaned until the body is taken out of the room.
  7. Everyone who attended the funeral should be given bread and a handkerchief.



  8. The store on which the coffin stood must be turned over for a day and put an axe near it. This is done to prevent another dead person from appearing in the house.
  9. Do not leave in the house things that came into contact with a dead person.
  10. The door and gate of the house where the person died should be kept open for three days.


Believers are advised not to pay attention to superstitions, but to consult with church ministers. The remembrance of the dead is primarily a church prayer service. “Truly also I tell you that if two of you agree on earth to ask for any work, whatever you ask will be given to them from My Father who is heavenly.”





According to church teachings, it is necessary to remember the dead on the third, ninth, fortieth days after death and on the anniversary. The day of death is always considered the first. The most important thing is not a memorial meal, but a joint prayer. If your family decides to organize a dinner in memory of the deceased, remember a few rules.

How to hold a memorial dinner
  1. On special commemoration days (3rd, 9th, 40th and on the anniversary), order a memorial service in the church and attend the liturgy, if it is laid on this day.
  2. Consult the priest on what day you can reschedule lunch if it is on a big holiday. It is best to have a meal on Saturday. Wake at post You can do it too.



  3. Don't have a big party. “If you can pray for a person, pray, you can’t pray, say well about him, you can’t say think well about him.”
  4. On a special day of remembrance, you should light a candle bought in the church and read the prayer: “By the prayers of the birth of You to Christ and Your Forerunner, the apostles, prophets, hierarchs, the saints and the righteous, and all the saints, your deceased servant, rest.”



    Before eating, everyone sitting at the dinner table should read Our Father. Pray to God, O Lord, for the forgiveness of sins to all who have gone before in the faith and hope of the resurrection, to our brothers and sisters, and make them an eternal memory. Blessed are you. Lord, teach me your justification.

  5. There should not be much food on the memorial table. The first dish that guests eat at the wake is kutya (kolivo, or sochivo) - boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey and raisins. Grain is the symbol of the resurrection, and honey is the sweetness of the righteous in the Kingdom of God. It is desirable to consecrate Kutya during the memorial service, but if it does not work, it is necessary to sprinkle with holy water.



  6. Food from the wake can be distributed to those in need, it can not be thrown away.
  7. Bringing food to the grave of the deceased is wrong, it is a pagan tradition.
  8. Anniversary memorial After death, they are made modest. On this day, gather in a close circle of loved ones and remember the deceased with a common prayer, it is possible without meals.
  9. The Church does not approve the use of alcohol at the wake. Wine is considered a symbol of earthly joy, and a wake is a time for intense prayer for a person who can suffer severely in the afterlife. Leave a glass of vodka and a piece of bread on the table is impossible in any case, this is a relic of paganism, and in believing families do not do this.

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But what to do, if the dead were unbelieversDid he commit suicide or follow other religious teachings? Here is how the Holy Father answers this question:

“In temples, such people are not prayed for or chanted, but in the case of suicides, they are not priestly blessing It is necessary to read the house prayer, and memorial meals with relatives are not prohibited. You should visit the temple. Trinity Parental Saturday On this day, the church prays for all those who have died from the ages, including those who are kept in hell.

You can't file suicide notes, but serve It is possible and even necessary to pray for everyone. In the memory of the infidels, one should pray for them and give alms. Since they have never been in the bosom of the Orthodox Church, they do not serve notes about them and do not put candles.”





No one lives on this earth forever, we are condemned to death. But death is birth into a new life, for only the physical body dies, and the soul is immortal. People are destined to meet after death, but where, it depends on us now, how we spend this life.

Pray and repent, live according to the commandments, and shed no useless tears for the dead. Remember them in prayer or in the temple.





If you know the feeling of loss, tell us how you managed to cope with it. What do you think to do with superstitionFollow them, what if this magic works, or listen to the biblical commandments and the opinions of the clergy? Don't forget to write a comment.

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