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How to fix a life program
A happy young couple decides to have a baby. Everything goes well, and after 9 months, a little man is born. There is no limit to the happiness of parents, everyone is delighted with this miracle with huge blue eyes. One night, a mother sits over her baby’s cradle and thinks about who she wants him to be.
Parents make plans, they have an idea of what their child should be. What parents want depends on the upbringing and development of the child. But how good is that?
The famous American psychologist Eric Bern In his work, he wrote that parents should be more careful in their expectations. And today's edition. "Site" He shares his opinion with you to help parents realize how much the future of the child depends on them.
Eric Berne is an American psychologist and psychiatrist, author of the concept of script programming and game theory. He argued that everyone’s life is programmed in childhood, up to the age of five, and then we simply live according to the chosen scenario.
The script is ours. lifeplanIt is formed in early childhood largely under the influence of parents. Berne believes that this works like a psychological impulse that pushes a person forward with great force, towards his fate. This often happens regardless of what the person really wants.
DepositPhotos
The life scenario begins to form in the first years of life and is programmed primarily by the mother. This is what forms the original framework of our script. It's kind of like a "primary protocol" about who we're going to be next. The process of forming this frame lasts up to six years.
When a child turns six, his life plan is ready. In fact, this fact was known in the Middle Ages, it was used by priests and teachers who said: “Leave me a child until six years old, and then take back.” With sufficiently good skills, the preschool teacher can predict what life awaits the child, whether he will become a winner or a loser.
DepositPhotos
The subconscious plan for the future, that is, our life program, is formed most often by family instructions. Everything that parents say to their child matters. After all, he perceives the wishes of his parents as a team, and it can remain so for life. Only a strong emotional shock, a dramatic event, for example, unapproved love, can free from this.
The psychologist argues that such release can occur as a result of psychotherapy, but much more slowly. The death of parents does not always remove all these attitudes, but, on the contrary, aggravate the situation even more.
DepositPhotos says, “More often than not, children’s decisions, rather than conscious planning in adulthood, determine a person’s destiny.” And indeed, sometimes it seems that people are attracted somewhere some strange force. Even if it contradicts your life goals.
Those who dream of money, lose it for incomprehensible reasons, craving love, awaken only hatred in people. This is how the life program that has been in us since childhood works.
But there is one thing: the script will not work until the child accepts it. Of course, it will not be accompanied by fanfare and fireworks, just one day a child can say: “I want to be like a mother.” From this point on, the program starts working.
DepositPhotos
Most often, programming occurs in a negative form, when parents stuff the heads of children with various restrictions. Prohibitions make it difficult to adapt to circumstances, while permits, on the contrary, provide freedom of choice. But permission should not be equated with permissiveness.
The most important permissions you have to give your child are permission to love, to change, to deal with your problems. The difference between those who are bound by all prohibitions and those who have permission is immediately visible. Blindness of prohibitions destroys human destinies. Success, wealth and even beauty all depend on parental permission.
Eric Berne says, “Being beautiful (as well as being successful) is not a matter of anatomy, but of parental permission.” Anatomy, of course, affects the prettyness of the face, but only in response to the smile of a father or mother can the face of a daughter bloom with real beauty.”
DepositPhotos
This is what every parent should learn. If you see your child as a child, then you will be a child. If you think your daughter is ugly or small since childhood, then you condemn him to such a life.
Parents are the foundation on which a child’s life is formed. It is very important to be aware of what you think about your child, how you feel about him and what program you put into his life.
Do you agree with Eric Berne’s point of view? Do you think we have a program in place since childhood, or does it not affect our lives? Share your opinion in the comments!
Parents make plans, they have an idea of what their child should be. What parents want depends on the upbringing and development of the child. But how good is that?
The famous American psychologist Eric Bern In his work, he wrote that parents should be more careful in their expectations. And today's edition. "Site" He shares his opinion with you to help parents realize how much the future of the child depends on them.
Eric Berne is an American psychologist and psychiatrist, author of the concept of script programming and game theory. He argued that everyone’s life is programmed in childhood, up to the age of five, and then we simply live according to the chosen scenario.
The script is ours. lifeplanIt is formed in early childhood largely under the influence of parents. Berne believes that this works like a psychological impulse that pushes a person forward with great force, towards his fate. This often happens regardless of what the person really wants.
DepositPhotos
The life scenario begins to form in the first years of life and is programmed primarily by the mother. This is what forms the original framework of our script. It's kind of like a "primary protocol" about who we're going to be next. The process of forming this frame lasts up to six years.
When a child turns six, his life plan is ready. In fact, this fact was known in the Middle Ages, it was used by priests and teachers who said: “Leave me a child until six years old, and then take back.” With sufficiently good skills, the preschool teacher can predict what life awaits the child, whether he will become a winner or a loser.
DepositPhotos
The subconscious plan for the future, that is, our life program, is formed most often by family instructions. Everything that parents say to their child matters. After all, he perceives the wishes of his parents as a team, and it can remain so for life. Only a strong emotional shock, a dramatic event, for example, unapproved love, can free from this.
The psychologist argues that such release can occur as a result of psychotherapy, but much more slowly. The death of parents does not always remove all these attitudes, but, on the contrary, aggravate the situation even more.
DepositPhotos says, “More often than not, children’s decisions, rather than conscious planning in adulthood, determine a person’s destiny.” And indeed, sometimes it seems that people are attracted somewhere some strange force. Even if it contradicts your life goals.
Those who dream of money, lose it for incomprehensible reasons, craving love, awaken only hatred in people. This is how the life program that has been in us since childhood works.
But there is one thing: the script will not work until the child accepts it. Of course, it will not be accompanied by fanfare and fireworks, just one day a child can say: “I want to be like a mother.” From this point on, the program starts working.
DepositPhotos
Most often, programming occurs in a negative form, when parents stuff the heads of children with various restrictions. Prohibitions make it difficult to adapt to circumstances, while permits, on the contrary, provide freedom of choice. But permission should not be equated with permissiveness.
The most important permissions you have to give your child are permission to love, to change, to deal with your problems. The difference between those who are bound by all prohibitions and those who have permission is immediately visible. Blindness of prohibitions destroys human destinies. Success, wealth and even beauty all depend on parental permission.
Eric Berne says, “Being beautiful (as well as being successful) is not a matter of anatomy, but of parental permission.” Anatomy, of course, affects the prettyness of the face, but only in response to the smile of a father or mother can the face of a daughter bloom with real beauty.”
DepositPhotos
This is what every parent should learn. If you see your child as a child, then you will be a child. If you think your daughter is ugly or small since childhood, then you condemn him to such a life.
Parents are the foundation on which a child’s life is formed. It is very important to be aware of what you think about your child, how you feel about him and what program you put into his life.
Do you agree with Eric Berne’s point of view? Do you think we have a program in place since childhood, or does it not affect our lives? Share your opinion in the comments!
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