How to choose a man to create a family Bashny.Net

Why aren’t all women happy in a relationship? The reason lies in the negative childhood experience. My mom didn’t like it, didn’t teach me how to take care of myself, and the girl took it for granted.

And when she grew up, she unknowingly began to create for herself the same conditions in which she lived as a child - to look for men who confirmed her insolvency and insecurity, and relationships that led to suffering.





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9 main mistakes that women who are not accepted by the mother make when choosing a man. They are attracted to the stronger sex with pronounced negative character traits, such as narcissism, rudeness, authority, and repel positive personalities.

Why is this happening? And which man to choose Should I? Probably someone who would develop the best qualities of a woman.

Unloved women are afraid of being abandoned or rejected. Fear turns them into emotionally unstable creatures and leads to poor choices.

1. Traditional orientation
   Women are unconsciously looking for something they already have a certain idea about. In this way, they repeat the earliest life experience: with people who resemble their parents. If they weren’t loved and protected as children, chances are they won’t see the world as a safe place to trust. Excessive wariness will attract personalities into their lives, with whom you should be careful.
   
   
   
   
   
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2. Living in illusions
   They think that assertiveness is an inherent male quality. A woman needs to be pursued. They see the manifestation of persistence in defiant behavior, late calls, endless messages. And those who behave more educated, do not notice.
   
   
   
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3. Misunderstanding of love
   Women whose mother did not love do not believe that they can love for nothing. They want to earn love, fight for it, suffer for it. Such women confuse the feelings of pain and hatred that bring bad relationships with passion.
   
   
   
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4. Connivance
   Women who are disliked by their mother are considered normal when a man neglects their desires. They think that attention should be gained by special behavior, because it was so in childhood. And they continue to indulge. When the owners of the house have a habit of throwing shoes in the front, they stop noticing it and clinging to shoes. In the same way, women get used to noticing the disorder in relationships. But it doesn't disappear.
   
   
   
   
   
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5. The habit of blaming yourself
   Self-criticism also comes from childhood. Saying “Yes, it’s my fault” to a child is much easier than defending your position. Is your husband answering through your teeth? Wouldn't you be quick to blame yourself for this and decide that you just didn't ask the question in time, that you disturbed yourself too much, that you irritated your presence?
   
   
   
   
   
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6. Distrust of your feelings
   If daughters are told that they are too sensitive and emotional when they grow up, they will doubt whether it is normal to worry. Such women will worry about trifles and doubt their adequacy. If the feelings of the individual have been neglected as adults, the individual will treat his feelings in the same way. Most likely, such a woman will give a man the right to decide and determine everything for her.
   
   
   
   
   
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7. Failure to understand the causes of uncertainty
   Women are looking for the love that they lacked in childhood. They feel extremely painful and vulnerable. These qualities prevent them from recognizing love. Because of the fear of being burned and insecurity, they may not go to love at all.
   
   
   
   
   
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8. Lack of a model of healthy relationships
   This is pretty clear. A woman can even guess that something is wrong, but she does not know how it should be. You won’t know until you find a good example in real life.
   
   
   
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9. Fear of being alone
   Every little girl thinks she's so miserable. She does not understand that the relationship with the mother does not work out for many. But the little girl continues to believe in her exclusivity, in her loneliness. She needs someone close, support, understanding. Her task in adulthood is to find an attachment that is safe.
   
   
   
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When mother It's sad, but not catastrophic. What do we do? Work out children's fears, complexes, try to establish a relationship with the mother, because it does not happen that there are no feelings for your child, accept yourself. It's hard to do that on your own.

The best option is to contact a psychotherapist. And if you do not want to see a soul doctor, he can always be replaced by friends. If the article was interesting, share it with friends on social networks.