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Should the child share toys with other children?
If anyone could tell, How to properly raise children... But every child is unique, and only a parent can find an approach to it. One thing we can say for sure – it is important to develop in the child a sense of self-esteem and respect for others. We recently got acquainted with the blog of Anna, a young mother who moved to France more than three years ago.
She brings up two children and shares her observations on the course of life in France, the birth and upbringing of children, comparing her impressions with life in Russia.
A young mother raised an interesting topic: should children share their toys with others on the playground? “Now you will know, Sevochka, that there are bad children!” – the words of the grandmother to her grandson. The words that were said about my children, Anna wrote. Editorial "Site" I'll share with you Anna's observation about this.
The process of personality education "It was summer on the beach of our south." My kids were digging in the sand with their buckets. Here a boy of about two runs up to them and persistently tries to get close to our molds. Passionate about the game, mine don't really want to share it. Seeing this, the boy’s mother and grandmother immediately fly up and begin to actively find out why their Sevochka is nervous.
His mother, who was already about to leave the beach, removes a huge backpack from her back and throws toys out of it. Then she handed them to my children, urging them to exchange them with her son. Mine certainly yield. But they're not very happy. They don’t want other people’s toys, they want their joint game, which had to be interrupted.
To be honest, having lived in France for a long time, I got used to this. The mother of a child who wanted to play with someone else’s toy wouldn’t. She probably wouldn’t even pay much attention to it.
“It’s not yours,” French women tell their children when they want to take someone’s toy outside. At first I thought it was too tough. Well, we can play for a little while, if no one minds, of course! But the French women remain completely unfazed, despite the tears of their child.
The child continues to demand the toy, but the mother persistently repeats all the same words and does not even try to appeal to the owner of the thing with a request to borrow it.
DepositPhotos
If someone doesn’t give your child a toy, it’s not a disaster. You do not need to pity the “offended” baby and reproach the “greedy” owners of the toy. I had a long conversation with a psychologist from a family play center.
“If a child is very young, it’s hard to explain that you don’t have to take someone else’s, at least without permission,” she told me, “but the child needs it.” After all, he, like any adult, must understand that in this vast world there are his things, and there are strangers.
If you want to play, ask permission. If you're not allowed to play, it's okay. At this point, it is better to distract the child and find him another occupation.
Conversely, if something belongs to you, you don’t have to share it either. I recently saw this picture. A mischievous boy approached the scooter of a girl of three years and was already riding it. Here the girl’s father is completely unfazed, but delicately took the scooter from him and explained: “Sorry, but this is not yours.” Sophie wants to ride herself now.”
DepositPhotos
In fact, the reason for this approach is not just that someone is encroaching on your property. “The process of play is something very important, sacred for a child, and to interrupt it by taking the toy, that is, the instrument of his play, is the same as distracting an adult from doing some interesting and important thing,” the psychologist explained to me then.
346380
DepositPhotos
The child decides whether to share his toy with someone or not. Not the mother or the nanny, but the baby. I have seen many times how French women, in response to someone’s request to play with their child’s toy, send the person who asked directly to the owner of things. They say, “I don’t mind, but here it is.” Please ask him. It's his thing.
Sometimes it is better to watch a little from the outside than to immediately intervene in children's disputes. Sometimes you want to protect the baby when grown boys do not let him hit the ball. But then, you see, he persevered himself, and they, condescending jokes, still accepted him into their game.
DepositPhotos
Taking your toy home is normal. Do not be ashamed of it, even if someone at this moment is passionately playing it. The owner of the toy or his mother calmly says, “Sorry, we’re leaving and we want to take our machine.” At this point, the playing child may be upset. It's okay! After all, returning is also a skill, it must be developed and nurtured. “Give me back and say thank you,” French women teach their children.
DepositPhotos
It is not customary to bring a large number of toys to the street. It is appropriate to take a scooter or a ball or a car or nothing at all. After all, walks on the street are needed to play games there that you can not play at home: hide-and-seek, catch up, collecting sticks and many more interesting things that a multifaceted children's fantasy is capable of. Did you know that all children in France are greedy?
DepositPhotos
No, nothing like that. Most children share their toys. But for some reason without the obvious pressure from adults. Rarely do you see a parent persevering with a child to share a toy.
“The ability to share is a valuable quality that you need to develop in your child, but very carefully,” the headmaster once explained to me. - Pathetic? Okay, it's okay, so you can share next time. You don’t need to put pressure on the child, it’s better to remind him sometimes that it’s not so bad to give your toys to others. And the desire to share will gradually come of itself.
Mom and grandmother Sevochka eventually left, realizing that the joint game will not take place. I felt sorry for Sevchka, his mother and grandmother, and my children, who at that moment looked greedy. But what can we do? Court rules ...”
You should always talk to the child, but do not press. He must make decisions based on the information he receives, otherwise it will be difficult for him to do so in adulthood.
Also earlier we talked about 9 ways to distract the child from gadgets.
Tell us in the comments if you agree with this approach to sharing toys between children. Share this article with your friends on social media!
Photo by depositphotos preview.
She brings up two children and shares her observations on the course of life in France, the birth and upbringing of children, comparing her impressions with life in Russia.
A young mother raised an interesting topic: should children share their toys with others on the playground? “Now you will know, Sevochka, that there are bad children!” – the words of the grandmother to her grandson. The words that were said about my children, Anna wrote. Editorial "Site" I'll share with you Anna's observation about this.
The process of personality education "It was summer on the beach of our south." My kids were digging in the sand with their buckets. Here a boy of about two runs up to them and persistently tries to get close to our molds. Passionate about the game, mine don't really want to share it. Seeing this, the boy’s mother and grandmother immediately fly up and begin to actively find out why their Sevochka is nervous.
His mother, who was already about to leave the beach, removes a huge backpack from her back and throws toys out of it. Then she handed them to my children, urging them to exchange them with her son. Mine certainly yield. But they're not very happy. They don’t want other people’s toys, they want their joint game, which had to be interrupted.
To be honest, having lived in France for a long time, I got used to this. The mother of a child who wanted to play with someone else’s toy wouldn’t. She probably wouldn’t even pay much attention to it.
“It’s not yours,” French women tell their children when they want to take someone’s toy outside. At first I thought it was too tough. Well, we can play for a little while, if no one minds, of course! But the French women remain completely unfazed, despite the tears of their child.
The child continues to demand the toy, but the mother persistently repeats all the same words and does not even try to appeal to the owner of the thing with a request to borrow it.
DepositPhotos
If someone doesn’t give your child a toy, it’s not a disaster. You do not need to pity the “offended” baby and reproach the “greedy” owners of the toy. I had a long conversation with a psychologist from a family play center.
“If a child is very young, it’s hard to explain that you don’t have to take someone else’s, at least without permission,” she told me, “but the child needs it.” After all, he, like any adult, must understand that in this vast world there are his things, and there are strangers.
If you want to play, ask permission. If you're not allowed to play, it's okay. At this point, it is better to distract the child and find him another occupation.
Conversely, if something belongs to you, you don’t have to share it either. I recently saw this picture. A mischievous boy approached the scooter of a girl of three years and was already riding it. Here the girl’s father is completely unfazed, but delicately took the scooter from him and explained: “Sorry, but this is not yours.” Sophie wants to ride herself now.”
DepositPhotos
In fact, the reason for this approach is not just that someone is encroaching on your property. “The process of play is something very important, sacred for a child, and to interrupt it by taking the toy, that is, the instrument of his play, is the same as distracting an adult from doing some interesting and important thing,” the psychologist explained to me then.
346380
DepositPhotos
The child decides whether to share his toy with someone or not. Not the mother or the nanny, but the baby. I have seen many times how French women, in response to someone’s request to play with their child’s toy, send the person who asked directly to the owner of things. They say, “I don’t mind, but here it is.” Please ask him. It's his thing.
Sometimes it is better to watch a little from the outside than to immediately intervene in children's disputes. Sometimes you want to protect the baby when grown boys do not let him hit the ball. But then, you see, he persevered himself, and they, condescending jokes, still accepted him into their game.
DepositPhotos
Taking your toy home is normal. Do not be ashamed of it, even if someone at this moment is passionately playing it. The owner of the toy or his mother calmly says, “Sorry, we’re leaving and we want to take our machine.” At this point, the playing child may be upset. It's okay! After all, returning is also a skill, it must be developed and nurtured. “Give me back and say thank you,” French women teach their children.
DepositPhotos
It is not customary to bring a large number of toys to the street. It is appropriate to take a scooter or a ball or a car or nothing at all. After all, walks on the street are needed to play games there that you can not play at home: hide-and-seek, catch up, collecting sticks and many more interesting things that a multifaceted children's fantasy is capable of. Did you know that all children in France are greedy?
DepositPhotos
No, nothing like that. Most children share their toys. But for some reason without the obvious pressure from adults. Rarely do you see a parent persevering with a child to share a toy.
“The ability to share is a valuable quality that you need to develop in your child, but very carefully,” the headmaster once explained to me. - Pathetic? Okay, it's okay, so you can share next time. You don’t need to put pressure on the child, it’s better to remind him sometimes that it’s not so bad to give your toys to others. And the desire to share will gradually come of itself.
Mom and grandmother Sevochka eventually left, realizing that the joint game will not take place. I felt sorry for Sevchka, his mother and grandmother, and my children, who at that moment looked greedy. But what can we do? Court rules ...”
You should always talk to the child, but do not press. He must make decisions based on the information he receives, otherwise it will be difficult for him to do so in adulthood.
Also earlier we talked about 9 ways to distract the child from gadgets.
Tell us in the comments if you agree with this approach to sharing toys between children. Share this article with your friends on social media!
Photo by depositphotos preview.