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Why Love Disappears in Family Life
When you are in love, nothing seems to interfere with your happiness. A loved one fills your entire being, and you want it to always be that way. And then you get married, and after a few years of living together, you're looking for a solution to this problem by Google, "How do you refresh your relationship?"
Of course, the first thought that dawns on your bright head is: “We will get married, live together until 100 years and die in the same day, because you can’t live a second without a loved one.” Now take off your pink glasses. Love is beautiful, and God grant it to last as long as possible, but building a marriage on love alone is like eating candy all your life. Sooner or later, your stomach will hurt.
There are several unspoken rules for creating a happy marriage: do not take garbage out of the house, stop complaining, you need not swear, but talk. And patience, my friend, you're gonna need to stock up on them. Editorial "Site" I will tell you why everything has gone to hell so far.
If you want to grow old with a man, it is hardly his bottomless eyes or chic curls. That’s enough to fall in love, and not always. And to live the soul in the soul and be happy, you need to know each other and be able to communicate.
“Do you know how to read?” asked the teacher in the first year of the philological faculty. And they all said, "Of course we can." And when she asked me to demonstrate her narration skills, someone stammered on a difficult word or intoned incorrectly.
There. Can you communicate? Why, having lived in marriage for several years, the couple are disappointed and remember the candy and bouquet period, which seems to them the best in the relationship? Because at this time you try to get to know each other, pay attention to the little things, spend your free time together - communicate, in a word.
This communication during the day with fire is not found, when the daily routine takes up all free time, and after work you want only hooves to throw away. What a movie trip! If for a partner, going to an exhibition, a movie or a theater is vital, and you hate operetta, make an effort on yourself. Remember how charming your wife is when she's happy. On the contrary, when you want to watch your favorite TV series, and your husband needs to go through level 90 in the "tanks", let him pass.
On the basis of stereotypes that we have saturated all our lives, the idea of relationships, marriage, raising children and so on is built. “The husband should earn money, and the wife must create comfort at home” – such a long-tailed phrase, it would seem, and it is used in the XXI century. But there is some truth here: we need to share responsibilities.
It is not a problem if your partner is better able to clean, and you have more money to earn, each their own. It is important to know that in any situation, you can count on your husband to come to the store after work, because you agreed.
Distribution of duties in the home plays a very important role in the relationship of spouses. This is not because someone is very cunning, but because it is so comfortable to coexist with both. If everything is done correctly, a feeling of coziness and mutual understanding will appear not only for your guests, but also for you.
No matter what you argue about, adults will always find a reasonable solution together. You need to discuss only the problem that led to the quarrel, and not all the previous ones, which you cite as an example and thereby add fuel to the fire. Be able to hear each other, agree or disagree, give reasonable arguments. You're gonna scream, you're gonna beat the plates, so what? And nothing, only then to buy new dishes.
It's different when you run to tell your mom or your best friend. Never do that. Relatives are sacred, but when you're starting your own family, don't let yourself go through other people's underwear. Because when you make up, Mom will still be unhappy with her son-in-law, and her friend may not be the best.
Family is created by two, so it is important to remember that each tries as much as possible. Saying “thank you” for a cooked dinner, cleaning up after a cat, even if it is not your duty, taking out the garbage, baking a cake for no reason, giving a flower just like that – such little things. But these little things are life, unforgettable moments that you remember in difficult days.
In order to build a strong friendly family, you need to respect your partner and sometimes put up with his imperfections. We are talking about small lapses, not beatings and drunkenness - this is a wake-up call, if nothing but memories holds you back, you should either go to a specialist and try to solve the problem together, or break this relationship.
Of course, you need to respect your partner and trust him. But you should not forget about yourself as a person. If the spouse does not support and inhibits personal development in some way, then you will have to break up. You don’t have to say, “I’ve killed you for 15 years,” but learn to end a relationship with someone who doesn’t fit you. But first, discuss it together: a fruitful conversation can save a drowning marriage.
Tell your friends on social networks what the relationship between spouses should be.
Of course, the first thought that dawns on your bright head is: “We will get married, live together until 100 years and die in the same day, because you can’t live a second without a loved one.” Now take off your pink glasses. Love is beautiful, and God grant it to last as long as possible, but building a marriage on love alone is like eating candy all your life. Sooner or later, your stomach will hurt.
There are several unspoken rules for creating a happy marriage: do not take garbage out of the house, stop complaining, you need not swear, but talk. And patience, my friend, you're gonna need to stock up on them. Editorial "Site" I will tell you why everything has gone to hell so far.
If you want to grow old with a man, it is hardly his bottomless eyes or chic curls. That’s enough to fall in love, and not always. And to live the soul in the soul and be happy, you need to know each other and be able to communicate.
“Do you know how to read?” asked the teacher in the first year of the philological faculty. And they all said, "Of course we can." And when she asked me to demonstrate her narration skills, someone stammered on a difficult word or intoned incorrectly.
There. Can you communicate? Why, having lived in marriage for several years, the couple are disappointed and remember the candy and bouquet period, which seems to them the best in the relationship? Because at this time you try to get to know each other, pay attention to the little things, spend your free time together - communicate, in a word.
This communication during the day with fire is not found, when the daily routine takes up all free time, and after work you want only hooves to throw away. What a movie trip! If for a partner, going to an exhibition, a movie or a theater is vital, and you hate operetta, make an effort on yourself. Remember how charming your wife is when she's happy. On the contrary, when you want to watch your favorite TV series, and your husband needs to go through level 90 in the "tanks", let him pass.
On the basis of stereotypes that we have saturated all our lives, the idea of relationships, marriage, raising children and so on is built. “The husband should earn money, and the wife must create comfort at home” – such a long-tailed phrase, it would seem, and it is used in the XXI century. But there is some truth here: we need to share responsibilities.
It is not a problem if your partner is better able to clean, and you have more money to earn, each their own. It is important to know that in any situation, you can count on your husband to come to the store after work, because you agreed.
Distribution of duties in the home plays a very important role in the relationship of spouses. This is not because someone is very cunning, but because it is so comfortable to coexist with both. If everything is done correctly, a feeling of coziness and mutual understanding will appear not only for your guests, but also for you.
No matter what you argue about, adults will always find a reasonable solution together. You need to discuss only the problem that led to the quarrel, and not all the previous ones, which you cite as an example and thereby add fuel to the fire. Be able to hear each other, agree or disagree, give reasonable arguments. You're gonna scream, you're gonna beat the plates, so what? And nothing, only then to buy new dishes.
It's different when you run to tell your mom or your best friend. Never do that. Relatives are sacred, but when you're starting your own family, don't let yourself go through other people's underwear. Because when you make up, Mom will still be unhappy with her son-in-law, and her friend may not be the best.
Family is created by two, so it is important to remember that each tries as much as possible. Saying “thank you” for a cooked dinner, cleaning up after a cat, even if it is not your duty, taking out the garbage, baking a cake for no reason, giving a flower just like that – such little things. But these little things are life, unforgettable moments that you remember in difficult days.
In order to build a strong friendly family, you need to respect your partner and sometimes put up with his imperfections. We are talking about small lapses, not beatings and drunkenness - this is a wake-up call, if nothing but memories holds you back, you should either go to a specialist and try to solve the problem together, or break this relationship.
Of course, you need to respect your partner and trust him. But you should not forget about yourself as a person. If the spouse does not support and inhibits personal development in some way, then you will have to break up. You don’t have to say, “I’ve killed you for 15 years,” but learn to end a relationship with someone who doesn’t fit you. But first, discuss it together: a fruitful conversation can save a drowning marriage.
Tell your friends on social networks what the relationship between spouses should be.
