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How to let go of previous relationships and start living life to the fullest
No wonder they say that the first love, which usually falls in school years, the most sincere and strong. Those feelings are filled with carelessness, new emotions for a person, and therefore remain in memory for a long time, sometimes even for a lifetime.
These first relationships often set the criteria by which a person later measures all his subsequent relationships. And if the first love was beautiful, exciting and passionate, then a measured relationship at a more mature and pragmatic age will seem just a boring shadow. Therefore, memories of first love can sometimes become intrusive, devaluing what you have now.
How to forget a loved one: We have known each other since the first years of life. First we were friends, we played together. Growing up, they loved each other and started dating. For joint trips to school, hugs, kisses and declarations of love flew 2 wonderful years. But then everything changed, recalls 43-year-old Natalia.
“He pulled away. Said his mom was against our relationship because I talked nasty about her in front of others. Break up. Many years have passed since then, but the reason for our separation does not give me peace. I still don't know who slandered me.”
“I continue to love even though it has been 28 years. Over the years, she even wrote letters to the army, but he did not respond. I called several times, he promised to call back, but the call back did not wait. I confessed my feelings to him, but he carefully changed the subject.
“Over the years, he has established a family. Me too. I recently found him on social media and applied for a friend, he accepted. I know I can't get my past back, but what about my feelings? At least I want to be friends with him. My relationship with my husband has completely collapsed. I finally realized that I really loved and loved only that boy from childhood. What should I do? asked Natalia.
“It has been 28 years since the relationship. And all these years, the man has shown that he is not interested in this woman. He does not speak directly, but his actions are eloquent: he does not need this relationship. And friendship is not necessary, the psychologist confidently states.
“All that remains is forgetting a loved one forever. Well, really, why be friends with people who were in love at the age of 15, and after that did not communicate for a quarter of a century. What should they talk about? Does Natalia want to listen in a friendly way to a man’s complaints about a lack of money or a bored wife? Would she like to lend him money to repair his car, or drink with him at a bar after a rough week? ?
“Perhaps Natalia should sort out her illusions and return to the reality of having a family. Who are these people to her? Why does she have a relationship with her unloved husband? What are the best days of her life one after another? ?
“Of course, one can compare the carefree, romantic love and the current aimless relationship with the bored husband, and the comparison will certainly not be in favor of the latter. But childhood love almost always ends. That was the case here. Who knows, maybe the guy just made up a story about the reason for the breakup because he didn't dare tell the truth to his face? Would that change anything today? ?
“Natalia prefers to live not in reality but in her own fantasies. And it can last more than one year, until the woman herself does not want to leave the world of illusions in the real world. Deciding to take such a step can be difficult, but it is necessary to stop wasting life, concludes the expert.
However, Natalia should stop. idealizeThe one she had a relationship with so many years ago. After all, during this time she could attribute to him many positive qualities, which, most likely, a man does not have. Therefore, this love is rather not for a living person, but for the image created in the woman’s head.
These first relationships often set the criteria by which a person later measures all his subsequent relationships. And if the first love was beautiful, exciting and passionate, then a measured relationship at a more mature and pragmatic age will seem just a boring shadow. Therefore, memories of first love can sometimes become intrusive, devaluing what you have now.
How to forget a loved one: We have known each other since the first years of life. First we were friends, we played together. Growing up, they loved each other and started dating. For joint trips to school, hugs, kisses and declarations of love flew 2 wonderful years. But then everything changed, recalls 43-year-old Natalia.
“He pulled away. Said his mom was against our relationship because I talked nasty about her in front of others. Break up. Many years have passed since then, but the reason for our separation does not give me peace. I still don't know who slandered me.”
“I continue to love even though it has been 28 years. Over the years, she even wrote letters to the army, but he did not respond. I called several times, he promised to call back, but the call back did not wait. I confessed my feelings to him, but he carefully changed the subject.
“Over the years, he has established a family. Me too. I recently found him on social media and applied for a friend, he accepted. I know I can't get my past back, but what about my feelings? At least I want to be friends with him. My relationship with my husband has completely collapsed. I finally realized that I really loved and loved only that boy from childhood. What should I do? asked Natalia.
“It has been 28 years since the relationship. And all these years, the man has shown that he is not interested in this woman. He does not speak directly, but his actions are eloquent: he does not need this relationship. And friendship is not necessary, the psychologist confidently states.
“All that remains is forgetting a loved one forever. Well, really, why be friends with people who were in love at the age of 15, and after that did not communicate for a quarter of a century. What should they talk about? Does Natalia want to listen in a friendly way to a man’s complaints about a lack of money or a bored wife? Would she like to lend him money to repair his car, or drink with him at a bar after a rough week? ?
“Perhaps Natalia should sort out her illusions and return to the reality of having a family. Who are these people to her? Why does she have a relationship with her unloved husband? What are the best days of her life one after another? ?
“Of course, one can compare the carefree, romantic love and the current aimless relationship with the bored husband, and the comparison will certainly not be in favor of the latter. But childhood love almost always ends. That was the case here. Who knows, maybe the guy just made up a story about the reason for the breakup because he didn't dare tell the truth to his face? Would that change anything today? ?
“Natalia prefers to live not in reality but in her own fantasies. And it can last more than one year, until the woman herself does not want to leave the world of illusions in the real world. Deciding to take such a step can be difficult, but it is necessary to stop wasting life, concludes the expert.
However, Natalia should stop. idealizeThe one she had a relationship with so many years ago. After all, during this time she could attribute to him many positive qualities, which, most likely, a man does not have. Therefore, this love is rather not for a living person, but for the image created in the woman’s head.
