What to say to a daughter who is afraid to give birth to modern men

A woman without children is a target for condemnation. Her clock is ticking, and in old age there will be no one to serve water, and in general to give birth to a child is the direct duty of every female. It's not even about ambition or even gender discrimination. Let’s talk about why women are afraid of having children in modern society.



If a woman is created by nature for the birth of a child, then a man must protect his family and ensure that the family does not need anything. That's what they said a hundred years ago. There are, of course, conservatives and romantics who would agree. But the reality is that in today's world, a woman who gives birth to a child, You can be alone in a cruel world..



A couple of years ago I saw a video in which correspondents talked about a single mother with five children. Oksana from Odessa gave birth to five. It is a miracle that all children were born healthy. And the husband, learning about the news, abandoned the woman in labor to the mercy of fate. The world is not without kind people, and, of course, people helped women as much as they could. But the head of the family decided that he could not afford such a large family, and just left. What right did he have to do that? Later it turned out that he does not pay alimony, because his salary is small. How can you trust a man and not be afraid to have children?



I want to say: “If you are not sure about a man, do not have children with him.” I have no right to tell anyone what to do with my body or my life. It’s scary to live, but don’t lie idly by? There are situations when a woman is independent and wealthy, sometimes she even deliberately gives birth to a child for herself and firmly decides that she will take better care of her child alone than with a grief-dad.



And here's another situation: a young couple, both renting, both working. They are so in love and happy that they decide that they are ready to raise a child. A girl gives birth to a child and ceases to be interesting to her lover. In addition to cheating on her, he does not help to raise his offspring, as if the child is a toy that his wife bought for herself.



And if the husband is not a tyrant and has no bad habits other than walking left and sitting around the clock on the couch scratching his belly, if this man is just indifferent, the woman leaves. She goes with a one-year-old child in her arms to nowhere: to her mother, to her friend, to rented housing. She works as a courier and carries her child in her arms, because it is easier to live with than a person who will not lift a finger to help. And it is good if she has wealthy parents or a woman can provide for herself. A woman without children is much more confident, it is easier for her to cope with difficult life situations alone. Can you blame her for that?



A modern man is a man who goes to childbirth with his wife. He spends several days with her in the hospital before and after childbirth, gets up at night at least on weekends, puts her to bed and bathes in the evening, cooks dinner for his wife, coming from work, knowing that she will leave her portion for lunch all day with the child in her arms. Many modern men share parental leave if the law and income allow. On Saturday mornings, modern men take their children to a park or cafe while their mother is sleeping, going to yoga or getting a manicure. Modern men do not have a crown on their heads, they are adequate and, if they do not want a family, they do not start it and do not marry, find the same woman and meet for years.



The decision to have a baby is a very serious step. This is a decision that will determine the course of your life for the next 20 years. You may have to drop out of college to go to work and stay afloat. The husband may reconsider his views and go to another woman who does not have a child. Or it may happen that you will give birth and be happy, and there will be a man with whom you can rely. Women fall in love with scoundrels, heartthrobs, lazy, cheaters. None of these men will make a good father. Before you decide to have a child, think about what kind of parent your chosen one will become. Never give birth to children because it is demanded by your husband or parents. You have to be prepared for this.