Why Close Friends Should Be Keeped Away From Family Bashny.Net

Betrayal of loved ones is a painful event. And what could be worse for a woman than being betrayed at the same time by a close friend and a beloved husband? However, psychologists say that betrayal It is often provoked by the woman herself. It creates all the conditions for this. Is that true?



“Don’t trust your girlfriend, trust your pillow,” my mother told me, but the meaning of her words came to me too late.

Olga and I were good and (more importantly) old friends. She often visited us, was considered almost a member of the family.



When she broke up with another young man and was very worried about it, I reassured her, listened to complaints, consoled, cheered. And when her husband helped her get a job, I was grateful to him.

“I later found out that a relationship had begun between them. Behind my back. So much effort for this woman, and this is how she paid back! Mom was also right that any man can not be trusted until the end, Natalia indignant.



As strange as it may seem, not all women can enjoy family well-being. What was embedded in our consciousness as a child plays a cruel joke with us years later. And mom’s attitudes about infidel husbands and envious girlfriends just gave rise, – said psychologist Tatiana Mizinova



“The well-being of many creates tension, gives rise to a premonition: if all is well, then soon something will happen. It’s like a person who grew up near a waterfall and will feel uncomfortable in silence. It is easier for him to provoke a traumatic incident than to live with the constant sense of danger he was warned of as a child.”

“In this case, the relationship could have been broken for a long time, although everything seems normal on the surface. Children, meetings with friends, trips on vacation - this creates the illusion of family happiness. But to the woman herself, this system may seem intolerable.”



“To leave, however, is to take responsibility for the children, to face the anger of parents and the misunderstanding of acquaintances. And here the romance of a husband with a friend will be a great reason to get rid of guilt. Therefore, if there was a breakdown in the family and conflicts were not openly resolved, the friend will simply be the same candidate as any girl from Tinder, for example, Tatiana Mizinova is sure.

“It also happens that the arrangement in personal life can give superiority. That's kind of pseudo-sympathy. It manifests itself in attempts to help a friend, in listening to her complaints, in expressing compliments. In doing this, the woman thinks arrogantly, “I can afford it.”

“It is the same when this young lady tries to keep her husband on a short leash. This creates an illusion of control over the situation. But later it turns out that the feelings and actions of the partner cannot be controlled. A man subconsciously hates such control, and he demonstratively violates the boundaries, explains the expert.



Of course, this model seems logical, but you can not put all the betrayals and breakups in one scenario. However, it should be recognized that in most cases, each party tries to shift responsibility to someone else.

Therefore, instead of trying to understand the offender and his actions (which we cannot change), it is better to understand ourselves and our feelings. Perhaps this will help to let go of the situation and ease the pain, as well as avoid similar mistakes in the future.