The daughter-in-law asks her son to take out a loan for a one-room apartment, I cannot dissuade him by any means

Many older people spend their last money to equip and renovate their homes. But for some reason they often do this not for themselves, but for their descendants. They say, nothing that we spend the last, but children and grandchildren will have a place to live.

However, the problem is that often these same children and grandchildren do not plan to live in their parents' house at all, but set up their own family nests.

Today the editorial board of "Site" wants to share the story of an elderly woman who discourages her only son and daughter-in-law from buying an apartment on credit. After all, a young family has a place to live, since the boy's parents have a large house where there is enough space for everyone.



Living in the parents' house “The daughter-in-law convinces her son to buy a one-room apartment on credit in the regional center. And I ask them not to. These are such big expenses, and even with huge percentages! Why get involved in this? " - Tamara is perplexed.



“My husband and I are already years old, we need help. We have a large house where there is enough space for everyone. So let the children live with us. After all, after us this house and so they will get. Why go into debt and feed the bank for years? And for what? For a place in a birdhouse?

We have a garden, a vegetable garden, and gas supplied to the house. There is a well right in the yard. Clean air, cars don't go back and forth. Quiet and peaceful. There is even a forest nearby. And what is in that regional center? Noisy, dusty, and pay for everything. "



Independent daughter-in-law “I dissuade my son, but he cannot influence the daughter-in-law in any way. He is a gentle and pliable man, all like a father. But she is a girl with character. She grew up without parents, was brought up in an orphanage, it is simply impossible to convince her of anything. He says that he wants to be independent and not depend on anyone.

If she had parents, I would talk to them, ask them to influence. But it seems that there is no one to convince her besides me. And she simply does not want to understand that the loan will have to be paid for years, denying herself an extra piece of bread. It's just stupid! "



“Self-reliance is good, I don’t argue. But shouldn't people in a family help each other? I was always brought up so that everyone in the family is obliged to help everyone. So why does she refuse to accept our traditions and our values if she decided to become part of our family? Is this right?

My husband and I insist on our own, but, of course, it is up to the children to decide. Let them build their own lives, let them do what is more convenient and better for them. But I am afraid that due to inexperience they will now make mistakes, and then they will regret and disentangle them. But I don’t even know how to help them, ”the worried woman complains.



It is always better for young people to have their own home, where they feel like full-fledged owners. And it is unlikely that the same stubborn daughter-in-law will be comfortable living in the house of her husband's parents.

Yes, even if now her relationship with her mother-in-law and father-in-law is quite normal, but a few years lived under one roof can change everything for the worse. And there he can quarrel with her husband. After all, this is life, anything can happen here. And then what will she do without even having her own corner?



Therefore, if young people make their choice in favor of buying even a cramped apartment, this choice should be accepted and respected. Help either with money or a kind word. Let them learn independence and responsibility. And the fact that parents and children do not live under the same roof is sometimes even for the better. Mutual claims and grievances will only be less.