Why daughters resent maternal happiness

Sometimes it happens that adult They stop finding a common language. The perfect little princess grows up to be an ungrateful person who doesn’t appreciate everything her parents do for her. Why is this happening?

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Today's edition. "Site" He will tell you an unusual story from the life of a woman. Having become a young mother, she could not imagine that she would wait for her in the future. At the end of the article, we will share our opinion on this. We will also give you a couple of good advice, like Establish a relationship with an adult daughter.

I am a single mother who gave birth to a daughter at a fairly young age. Although I genuinely loved my young man, he was not prepared for such a rush of events and, as is usually the case, simply ran away, leaving me alone. Soon I managed to get a job in a garment factory and get a place in a dormitory. Every day ended with my tantrums, but the girls comforted me. Years have passed and we still support each other.



My daughter named it after her grandmother. And 10 years after she was born, a friend helped me get a small 2-bedroom apartment through a union. I still thank her when I meet her. Baby became the center of my life. I gave Mila all my youth so she would never need anything. From an early age, her daughter played volleyball. Together with the team, Mila traveled many cities and a couple of times even went abroad.

Now Mila is very adult and so beautiful. I started to feel like she was shy of me, hiding her secrets. One day my daughter threw me a whole tantrum: "Why did you take me to this volleyball?" What good is he? I wish I could learn English! And I wanted this sport? You ruined my whole life! My daughter literally shocked me with this statement. After all, she always enjoyed going to training and never refused to travel to competitions.

As I understand it, it's the influence of new girlfriends. I saw them once with Mila, asked what kind of girls. One works as a guide and accompanies foreigners to historical places. And the second one is tutoring, teaching English. That's where the wind blows from... One day, the daughter brought the boy home and announced: “Mom, this is my husband, we signed today, and now he will live with us.”



All right. The guy's handsome, Anatoly's name. Artist. But to get him into the theater, you need a residence permit. I decided to help the young and ordered my son-in-law to our apartment. On the same day, I had room in the house. Tolya sleeps until noon, so it should be quiet. And nights rehearsing, too, can not interfere. He eats a lot and doesn't make money. We even bought him very expensive clothes so he could meet the right people and build a career. Well, the cart is still there.

Periodically I ask how things are going with work. But the daughter makes a scandal. He says he doesn’t want to live his whole life without a man. Of course I agree with her. I decided not to disturb my daughter, packed a suitcase and asked to visit a friend. You'll see. I stayed at Lenka's for a couple of days, and I cried. At that time, a friend called a relative and asked to look after the dog while they were at sea. So I got a nest for 3 weeks.



One day I was walking my dog in the park and I heard someone call me, “Lariska, are you?” A couple of years ago, I was taken care of by a man. I liked him very much, but Mila resisted and did not let her marry Pasha. So he was left alone, just like me. So we met again. They talked, and the old feelings broke out in fresh flames.

I'm the bride now. I went to my daughter to pack my things. And there is a picture of oil: mountains of unwashed dishes, son-in-law's belongings scattered throughout the apartment, daughter in panic. He says his husband didn't sleep at home. And he shouts at me, “You ruined my whole life, and now you’re leaving to be happy!” I don't understand why I ruined her life. I did everything for her all the time, largely denying myself. And now I just want to live with my man and be a wife.



Unfortunately, sometimes adults blame their parents for their failures. And this story is a vivid example of such a situation. Raising a child without a husband, the mother did everything to make her daughter happy. But she didn't appreciate Mom's efforts. This is obviously the result of a childhood injury. The single mother did not become an example for her daughter, but, on the contrary, seemed to her a loser who was abandoned. She wanted to get married so she wouldn’t be alone. As a result, everything turned against the girl. Do you think Mom could have changed everything? Establish a relationship with an adult daughter?



How to establish a relationship with an adult daughter

1. Stop taking care of your daughter. Accept that your child has grown up and does not need to be cared for every minute. Respect your daughter’s choices and treat her as an equal.
2. Make time for the two of you.. Yes, calling your daughter several times a week is great, but it’s better to meet her live sometimes. Think about where you can go together and what to do at your leisure.
   
   
   
   
3. Establish a relationship with the daughter's chosen one. Never argue with a young man daughter and certainly do not interfere in the family affairs of your child. Unnecessary advice will only heat up the relationship.
4. Forget about parental blackmail.. Children often follow their parents to avoid upsetting them. But this is unlikely to lead to a healthy relationship with the mother.
5. Spend more time with your grandchildren. But do it carefully, so that in the end you do not become just a babysitter for children. Define the boundaries that cannot be crossed. Take your grandkids for the weekend, but don’t watch them every day.
   
   
   
   

Maybe you know what else is needed to adult We made contact. We would be very happy if you could share your experience with us. We'll see you in the comments!