How to host guests for Christmas lying mother-in-law

Difficult relationships with mother-in-law are not easy to establish. Sometimes, even after many years of living with a spouse, reconciliation with his mother does not occur. Even if there was no conflict, the mother of the spouse may dislike the woman who took away her son. It is only in old age that people begin to realize the mistake they made when they were completely alone.



Natalia Ivanovna has three sons, they all married safely. I married my eldest ten years ago. Since then, our relationship with my mother-in-law has only worsened. There was no conflict as such, but I understand that the eldest son is a support for the mother, and it is always very difficult to get used to the fact that he now has his own family, which he cares about.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not find a common language with Natalia Ivanovna. For some reason, I thought that in a few years everything would get better and she would be my second mother. Later I resigned and did not try to make contact. I respect my mother-in-law and thank her for raising my husband.



After our daughter was born, my mother-in-law began to communicate with us more, as if we were closer. Until her younger sons got married. Then she turned her attention to them. Father-in-law helped them financially, gave gifts and often communicated, because the children live near them.

We live across town. No one helped us and no one celebrated the holidays with us. We thought we were doing well already. I often forgot to congratulate you on your birthday. Later I came to terms with this situation. And when her father-in-law died, Natalia Ivanovna was grieving the loss. Now she hardly gets out of bed, not feeling well. Only two daughters-in-law and her beloved sons, to whom she devoted all her time and helped financially, do not want to help now.



This year my mother-in-law invited us to celebrate Christmas together. I knew she couldn't cook anything, so I cooked a few dishes in advance and brought them with me. To my surprise, we did not find our youngest sons with our wives. We had dinner and my mother-in-law started a serious conversation.



She asked us to look after her so we could live in her house. And then we inherit this house. With all due respect, this was a surprise to me. To be honest, although Natalia Ivanovna gave me time to think, I immediately knew the answer to her proposal. I refused right away. Not because I don’t like my mother-in-law. I just think it's unfair that she ignored us for so many years and now she's asking for help.



It turns out that we will get a house if we take care of it for the rest of our days. And the younger children all the gifts and attention just like that. We're not going to see her again, I told her that. Let her beloved children now help.”

It is hard to realize that close people are only looking for benefits when communicating with you. It turns out that Natalia Ivanovna never loved her daughter-in-law, but realized that there would be no support from other children. What would you do in such a situation? Is it possible to build a relationship after so many years of grievances and misunderstandings?