How to raise insecure person: Korolevich Oksana, the advice of a psychologist Bashny.Net

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Probably everyone is familiar with the book by G. Oster "Harmful advice". This article also includes harmful advice for parents. Following them strictly, you will bring up constantly doubting, insecure person with zero charisma, which is unpleasant is not something that others, but also himself. Don't want it to act exactly the opposite.

Personal space? No, not heard
Of course, personal space is full of nonsense and an invention of the evil psychologists who only dream about how to alienate the child from the parents. Watchful parental eye, and the ubiquitous nose must penetrate everywhere. It is a pity that there is no possibility to view childhood dreams, there are lots of interesting and useful information. But that's okay: but you can read the correspondence of the child with classmates, his personal diary. Don't forget to gather family Council and to debrief, as they say, "the bones". Ideal – if you have access to the page of your child in social networks. With password, of course. Then it will be like to be there to manage: remove dubious friends, to replace the photo on the avatar, leave a couple of comments that all at once it became clear "who's the boss". The duty of every parent is to break into the nursery without notice at any time of the day. Then from the illusion of personal space will not be over.

No independence
A similar situation describes Korolevich Oksana in his article.

• The child decided to take their toys on their own? Don't let him do this, he still won't do as it should.
• Son decided to help his father hang a bookshelf? Immediately choose the hammer and nails, and even fingers his whacks. By the way, if you notice that the child is fascinated by technology, write it down in a music school. Because you know better what will be useful to him in life!
• The daughter washes the dishes after dinner? Don't let her do this. You have that dish too much?

The harder the better
Put before the child unrealistic targets. This is the best way to develop systems and to sow confidence in their own worthlessness.
Son is preparing for mathematical Olympiad? But if he knows that Lev Landau was able in just a few seconds to take any integral? And objectives for students on the move thought out? Anyway, who should participate in the school competition, if you do not know even the basics of temple geometry?

The child learns to concert a new piece for cello? Well, for a layman come down, but Lavrov Rostropovich, Bashmet or he do not win. And Mozart at this age already wrote the music.

Daughter is knitting the collar on the exhibition in school? Well, primitive! Who are interested in these bars-chains? Vologda lace to make weak? As where can I get a description? And the Internet on that?

Every such statement is a new step in the education of high-quality, plush and incorrigible loser-outsider.

It's just part bad advice. In fact, there are many more. Hope you all do differently. After all, the losers and so abound. Try to make the baby happy!