How to mend a "broken heart»

Mid-December, at work — all hands on deck. I'm driving, the mood is perfect ahead of the holidays and vacations with your loved ones. Going to work. A phone call from him. “ I lost interest”- I hear in the tube, and the meaning of the phrase becomes clear to me immediately. Squeal of brakes! Red traffic light — avast on the road and in life.

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In the last month, I felt some changes, and some times talked to them about it, but he was silent. And here's the result of this silence is that he "lost interest". The end of our wonderful novel. ALMOST THE PERFECT MAN. I was in love, happy and I'm sure after the New year we will live together, and there to the wedding bells near. Now cut to the quick.

 

The search for answers to the question "why" is another story. The end of the previous novel, I experienced two years. And my goal now is not to give yourself to hang in the experiences another two years.

 Breathe, drink water and not give vent to feelingsAlready lit up the green light and you need to go further! Heart is racing, body shaking, but need to move.  Breathe! Breathe deeply and often immediately begin to suffocate. Gradually try to align the rhythm of the breath. A deep breath and slow exhale. Helps. But then the treacherous throat constrict spasm. I have been there before. Shout, or rather yell, I'm in the car, and this is my territory.

Turn on the autopilot, and Parking passes.

I can't speak, I'm shaking. Drink water and with the last drop in the glass stopping my shivering. I drank a lot of water over the following days. Water transformirovalsya in tears — it helps.

 

To give vent to feelingsThe day passed and the work was not even to think about my pain. In the evening sat in the car and the flow of thoughts overcame me. Why? What have I overlooked? Home my adult daughter asked about our plans for the New year. And all the dam burst. Immensely grateful that she listened to the rambling stream of complaints, gave handkerchiefs, and drink water.

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I couldn't sleep, eat. Thoughts of the incident was running in my head with such speed that I decided to be neutralized. Failed romance — not the end of life, and destructive thoughts have to end. I listened to a lecture by Louise hay on the way to work and back and slowly realized that the past should be left in the past. Only I am free to decide how it affects me today. Louise hay says about forgiving the abuser, but most of all - the forgiveness of self. Listened and cried. Forgive yourself, him, your first love and all around. Helped.

 

To meet and dotting all the I4 days later we met in the evening in the restaurant. I went and saw him. He stood in the middle of the hall and was kind of lost, but still native. I wanted to hug him, but his lips on my cheek seemed to others. I wanted this meeting to understand what happened. I decided back then, in the car, I wouldn't try to return it. In the same river twice. And was that I was not satisfied in our relationship. But I was in love and I was too rose-colored glasses. Now these points I specifically drew his attention to these points. I have not received clear answers to their questions. I cried on his shoulder, Almost the Perfect Man had wiped my tears and said I was smart, beautiful and sexy. It became easier for me. Little. Not for long, but I did.

 

To understand that things could be worseThere I could not continue. It made me sick. And after a couple of days on a business lunch, it dawned on me — I'm pregnant. It can't be, but as you know, 100% protection does not exist. A new stream of thoughts like a whirlwind rushed in my head. I so wanted a second child, but I have closed this topic. And now this. To make tough choices that affect their lives much more difficult in this situation. In General, when the next morning I saw one stick — my happiness knew no bounds! Feel better for another couple of days.

 

To do what you wantedIn the fall, we have in the city opened a huge modern water Park. I love this entertainment, and Almost Perfect Man, not so much. Understood that we were there still was, he always had good reasons to postpone it. Now no one could hinder me to catch a drive of steep turns.

But I didn't realize that amusement parks — a Mecca for romantic couples and happy families. Hour I tried to pretend that I'm good. But I finished that with two cool slides you can ride down only on large buns with 2-4 people! Couple or family! But there were two men — the father, an imposing man of 50 years and son is a teenager. Their chat in the queue for another slide and, now, I summoned the courage and approached with a request to take me in. They were troubled, but not abandoned! And after the incredible turns several collaboration downs, we laughed and thanked each other for company.

I returned home completely happy.

 

To register on the Dating siteMy deep belief — everyone finds what he is looking for. And on Dating sites too. I decided not to give yourself to turn sour. Christmas holidays are hard for single people. According to statistics, they account for the peak of the suicides. I have not yet prolonged depression, and “fresh” experience. But they need to handle. The questionnaire is ready, begin the selection of candidates. For the first two weeks of January, I went on dates with 5 men. They were all for their good, but, alas, not grown together. But their self-esteem and shattered confidence restored I. Hearing the compliments and good words. Helps.

 

LearnIt is urgent to occupy themselves with something useful and inspiring. One training scheduled in December, but it was postponed at the request of the teacher. I find free webinars Ekaterina Inozemtseva and schools of the coolant. First Katin webinar inspires me and inspires. This is what I need. The creation of a personal brand! Things at work are going well, but I feel stagnant for a long time. Solved immediately — an annual subscription and the development of its own brand. Work is always. Study helps better! Now in mind only the useful ideas and support fellow students.

 

Close the doorI lived with him for 3 days this weekend, and he spent the night with me during the week. Our belongings were in both apartments. I gave his things in the restaurant that he was very surprised, and I set myself a plus sign. And all my stuff was still with him. It took a month and a half. Almost the Perfect Man came to see me at work tonight. We both felt awkward. Spoke cautiously. “It was two holidays is a gift” and he held out a box with a bow. We had a nice exchange of stock phrases. He seemed so lost and...... pathetic. I wanted so much to snuggle against his chest, but I stood and looked at his new shirt. Almost Perfect, the Man was gone. I'm all covered with red spots — new-to-me reaction. I was shaking. It seemed to me that he wanted to say sorry about the incident and wants to return. But I didn't. And I closed the door of our novel.

Back tears. Long ago they were not. For almost a month.

 

Talk to the Wise WomanI have an older friend, let's call it so — Wise Woman. She was aware of my happiness, my enchanting novel. She, like a Wise Woman, saw more than I did, and told me about it. She saw him as Not the Perfect Man. But then I didn't listen to her. My misfortune was, too, she knows, I already got her comforting and wise words. Now I was listening and wondered why I had not seen and not heard. Tightly closed door of my novel endangered the newfound calm. It is her turn, I needed Her support.

— Ira, why he dumped me? I still don't understand!

— Because you deserve the best! He made space for a better future! said the Wise Woman.

And I believe, sincerely believe a Wise Woman. It became easier for me. My actions were not in vain.

 

Two months have passed. I'm happy and hopeful for the future.

In small pieces I restored his broken heart.

I worked hard on forgiveness of yourself and him. I let him go. I learned to love myself.

Its purpose — “to mend a broken heart “ and not to fall into the abyss of experiences for years — I sounded the first evening. And I'm proud. I did. The door is closed and everything behind it is my past and it'll stay there.

And on Sunday I have a date with a very interesting man. Second. And already — inspiring.

 

PS: another month.

I have become stronger. Inner confidence calms and relaxes. I know that I could handle the pain, not leave in frustration and not inward. I found the strength to look at his pain openly, to live it. This article in many ways helped me and became a stage of my recovery. I am convinced that pain has a profound purpose. The pain we are experiencing today, will become our strength for tomorrow. From Haruki Murakami has a wonderful expression on the subject: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a personal choice". And I made my choice. My choice is HAPPINESS!published

Author: Tatiana Oginska, especially for

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: //Tatiana Oginska