In the heart of every man there are 3 desperate desireeve were created among the lush beauty of the garden of Eden. Adam, as you remember, was created outside the garden, in the wild.
In the second Chapter of Genesis is a historical document describing the origin of man is clearly stated that man was created in the wilderness as part of the wildlife. And then he was placed in Eden. Ever since the boys never feel at ease being in the room, but men do not leave an insatiable desire for new knowledge. Men tend to go back to basics, these moments of their life acquires fullness.
As John Muir, when a man comes to the mountains, he comes home. Essentially a man's heart designed for life outside the walls, and it was good. "I don't feel alive in the office, — it is told in advertising sportswear Northface, I don't feel alive in a taxi. I don't feel alive walking along the sidewalk".
The desire for new knowledge of course, as our innate love of maps. In 1260, Marco Polo went in search of China; in 1967, when I was seven years old, me and my friend Danny Wilson decided to dig there underground passage from my yard. We abandoned it at a depth of two meters and a half, but we got a great fortification. One day, Hannibal made his famous crossing of the Alps;and in the life of every boy there comes a day when he stumbles across the street where he lives, and falls into the company of the great explorers.
The desire for adventure, with its attendant dangers and thrills inherent in the soul of every man. Man's heart tends to go where there is nothing artificial, simulated, low fat, buttoned zip, license, working online, warmed in the microwave. Where there is no latest due date of the report, cell phones, or meetings. Where there is a place for the soul.
There, finally, where the surrounding nature corresponds to the nature of our heart.
In every man's heart there are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered, sitting at the kitchen table. Who am I? What created? What is my purpose? The fear that keeps a man at home, where everything is clear, all things are in their places and are under his control. But the answers to your deep questions of man are not found in the TV screen or on a shelf of the refrigerator. If a man wants to understand who he really is, wants to know why he came into this world, he needs to go. He needs to regain his heart.
The Western way of life, harmful to our soul
The lifestyle of modern men leads to the fact that fewer and fewer people listen to their heart. Endless hours spent in front of the computer monitor; selling shoes in the Mall; meetings, notes, phone calls. The business world in which most Americans live and die, requires men to be rational and punctual. Policy and the system of work of the corporations developed with one aim: to harness a man to the work and make it profitable. But the soul refuses the harness; she did not want to know about the day and the last deadlines of reports. The soul longs for passion, freedom, life. As said D. Lawrence, "I am not a mechanism". Men need to feel the earth's rhythms; he needed to hold something tangible- the tiller of the boat, the reasons, the rough rope or a shovel.
Can a man live life, keeping your nails clean and tidy? Unless this is the dream of every boy?Society as a whole can't decide how to be with men. Having spent the last thirty years to make men more cautious, sensitive, easily controlled, and even feminine, it now berates them for what they have lost manhood.
Boys are incorrigible, we sigh. Like if a man becomes truly an adult, he loses his passion for travel, her unbridled and forever settle at home in the living room of aunt Polly. "Where are the real men?" — that's a common topic on talk shows and books nowadays. "But you asked them to be like women", you want to answer me. As a result, we are seeing this blurring of the boundaries between the sexes, the world has not seen. How does a man know that he is a man, if his main goal is to watch your manners?
Robert bly in his book "Iron John" says: "Some women want a passive man if they need one at all; the Church is in need of an obedient man will be such a priest; higher education institutions need "tamed, home" the man — this will be enrolled in the state; corporations need... limited to, clean-shaven, perfectly healthy man."
All of these requirements that society has to male, you can call the attack of the Western way of life into man's soul. And as a result of this expansion of the heart of man is displaced in some remote mountainous region, resembling a wounded animal seeking shelter. Women know this and complain that they have no access to the hearts of their men. Men know this too, but very often they are not able to explain why you lost contact with your heart. They know that their heart is on the run, but don't know where to find him.
Church leaders shrug their shoulders and wonder why they fail to interest their programs more men. And the answer is simple: we do not allow man to live in accordance with the desires of his heart. Invitation When God created man, He had some kind of plan, and if we want to find himself in this world, we need to understand this plan. What He put into the heart of men?There are three desires that I found in the depths of his heart, which I cannot neglect without losing the soul.
They define who I am, what I am and what I want to be. I looked at my own childhood, I searched for the answer on the pages of books, I have listened to many, many men, and now I am sure that these desires are the same for all, they are the key to understanding masculinity as such. They can be suppressed, forgotten or replaced with something else, but at heart every man is a desperate desire to win the battle, survive the adventure and rescue a beauty.
I want you to remember those movies that like men, remember that men do in their spare time, but the main thing — remembered the strong desire of the boys and made sure that I was right.To win the battle
Capes and swords, camouflage, bandanas and pistols — that is the uniform of the boys. The boys aspire to be strong, dangerous, strive to ensure that with them were considered.
How many parents tried in vain to prevent little Timmy to play with guns? Do not even think. If you do not provide the boy with a toy gun, he will produce it from what is at hand. My sons sculpted guns from the bread crumbs at Breakfast. Every stick or fallen branch was a spear, or better yet, a Bazooka. Contrary to what many modern teachers, all this shows is not a mental disorder caused by the cruelty, which carries TV, or a chemical imbalance in the body. Aggression is part of male nature, it is "mounted" in the us.
Girls don't think of these games, which "dies" a huge number of people where bloodshed is a prerequisite for fun. Hockey, for example, was not a female invention, as well as Boxing. The boy wants something to attack — so does a man, even if it's just a small point on the target. My sons, for example, will not spend time for tea. They don't call my friends to talk to them about human relationships. They grow indifferent to the games in which there is no element of danger, competition or "bloodshed." Games based on the principles of "cooperation and support" to them is completely incomprehensible. 'And do not kill anyone? — will they ask incredulously. — There are no winners? Then what is interest?" It's so typical that she should convince us that the boy is a warrior. And such behavior is not childish on his part. When the boys are playing "war games", they rehearse their role that they will play in a much more serious drama. Maybe one day you'll need to protect this boy. If a man will teach only that which it needs to be good, he may lose his heart for wounds receive in the course of his life.
This is even truer in difficult areas of human relations in which man is most acutely feels his lack of preparation. As said bly, "any human relationship sometimes requires aggression".
Of course, this desire can be suppressed if the years to ignore it, and the man may feel not ready to battle that he knows is waiting for him. Or this can turn to your dark side, what do not know the members of urban gangs. But it's not going anywhere. Every man wants to be a hero. Cadamarteri need to know that he is strong. Not due women the movie "Braveheart" was the movie of the decade. "Flying tigers', 'the bridge on the river Kwai", "the Magnificent seven", 'Shane", "high noon", "Saving private Ryan", "top gun", "die hard", "Gladiator" — here favorite movies men. They reveal to us the desires of men's hearts, reveal what is inherent in men from birth.
Whether you like it or not, but in every man's heart there is something aggressive.Survive the adventure
Once, during a conference I was taken to the side judge, about sixty years — a true southerner, with a pleasant accent, in a pin-striped suit.
Quietly, almost apologetically, he told me about his love for the sea, for sailing, how he and a friend finally built his own boat. Then his eyes somehow surprising sparkle. "A few years ago, when we sailed from the coast of Bermuda, we caught up with a huge force storm. It is unclear where it came from. Six-meter waves crashing against the penalty of a homemade boat. I thought we're dead". He paused to heighten the effect of his words, and then admitted: "It was the best moment of my life."
The desire for adventure is inherent in every man's heart. It is not only the desire to "have fun." Adventure requires something of us, it tested our strength. And although we can scare the upcoming test, we strive to complete it to ensure that it is within our grasp.
If the man lost the desire for adventure and says he's not interested in, just because he doesn't know whether he has enough strength to survive them, do not believe that will stand the test of strength. So he comes to the conclusion that it is not worth trying.
Save the beautiful
Nothing inspires a man to heroic deeds, like a beautiful woman. For her you are ready to attack the castle, slay the giant, jump over the parapet. Or, for example, to knock the ball over the field, playing baseball.
What would Robin hood or king Arthur be without the woman they loved? Lonely men involved in dull fights. Indiana Jones and James bond would not be themselves if it was not with them beauties; but once the beauties were there, then, of course, they had to fight. You know, it's not just that the man needs to win the battle, he needs someone who he can fight. In itself the battle is never enough, man seeking for romance. It is not enough to be just a hero; it's whether to be a hero to someone, to the woman he loves. A woman's heart
In a woman's heart, I also found three wishes, which constitute its essence; we cannot say that they are completely different from the desires of man's heart, but these desires remain typically female.Not every woman strives to win the battle, but each wants it fought.
Listen to aspire to a woman's heart: a woman just wants her attention, she wants to be wanted. She wants to be wanted. "I just want to be someone one and only",
— shared with me one of my friend who was over thirty. And her childhood dreams of knight in shining armor appearing to save her, not stupid girlish dreams is the essence of the feminine heart and the life for which it was created.Besides, every woman wants a man shared with her adventure.
One of my favorite movies of my wife — "the Man from snowy river". She likes the scene in which Jessica, a beautiful young heroine saves Jim, her hero, and they ride on one horse across the wild expanses of Australia. "I want to be like Isabo. from the movie "Ladyhawke" — confessed to my other friend. To me valued, I want to be wooed, to me fought. But I also want to be strong, I want to participate in the adventure." Many men are mistaken, believing that the woman is the adventure. It is because of this misunderstanding begin to break down many relationships. A woman wants to be an adventure, she wants to participate in it. One of our friend confirmed this idea: "I know myself and know that I'm not "adventure". Therefore, when a man makes me a target which you want to achieve, I immediately get bored. I want to be invited to become the heroine of the story, which is unfamiliar to me".Finally, every woman wants to possess beauty, which will open. Will not invent and disclose.
Most women from adolescence feel the need to make an effort to look pretty, but I'm not talking about that. Every woman wants to enjoy the natural beauty and admiration. Most girls remember how they played, dressed in different outfits or pretending to be a bride, or whirled around the room in skirts "sun-flared" of soft tissue. Wore the most beautiful dress, came out into the living room and whirled, trying to impress his father. My wife recalls how at the age of five or six years, she climbed on the coffee table and singing, trying with all his strength. "See how pretty I am? — asks the heart of every girl. — Do you like what you see?"Requiring women to be tough, successful and independent, our society kills a woman's heart.Following the heart
Imagine for a moment that you said, "Harry? Of course, I know him. This is a very nice young man." Or: "Yes, I know Harry. Not to be trifled with... in a good way". Which statement would you like more? Now I want to ask: what kind of man would you like to see? (Some women are offended by men, may prefer 'safe" satellite, but then, years later, they are surprised by the lack of passion in your marriage, and also the fact that their husband has become indifferent and cold.) If you talk about your femininity, what would you prefer: to be called "a tireless worker' or "face"? I think I made a compelling argument in proof of his innocence.Man should know that he is strong; he needs to know that he can cope with difficulties. The woman should know that she is beautiful; she must know she's worth fighting for.
©John Eldredge from the book "Untamed heart"
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©