In fact, the expression "to raise self-esteem" is not quite true, but it happened in colloquial speech. Man's problem is not high and not low self-esteem, and its adequacy or inadequacy to what it is.
Self-esteem can be inappropriately high and inappropriately low.
So here we will focus on how to bring inadequately low self esteem in line with what humans are in reality. But in reality each person he did. So, based on what each person is good, maybe even better, we will have to raise his self-esteem.
Dragons to overwhelm us, from childhood. But just tell that to the person — does not mean to help. On the contrary, tell people that their wrong parents are educated, they will become even sadder. Time machine not to go back and change his parents, the neurotic parents are healthy. The same with the other injuries from the past. And must live in the present.
So, raise self-esteem. Step one. FORGIVENESS
You probably know exactly who formed Your idea of yourself, who gave You insecure about your beauty, your health, your intelligence, your ability to sing... the Secret is simple and complicated at the same time: these people need... to forgive.
Then You release yourself from the past and begin to live with a clean slate. You are a new person with a new passport, new name, new karma... can't? The ashes of Klaas knock at Your heart? Go to the therapist. Know what any psychotherapy? Finds out, who from the past You sharpen a knife and learn to forgive this man. More it does nothing, psychotherapy.
Its main motto is:STOP SAWING SAWDUSTOne of the difficulties at the stage of working with offenders from the past — a resentment extremely skillfully wrapped and hidden deep in the subconscious
. They were displaced, in the language of Freud. And the displacement is according to Freud, the wrong that man can do with his fear, desire, or, as in this case — injury. Because the displaced — is difficult, as the file that You have saved is not known in which folder.
But in order to cope with this problem, psychoanalysis is not needed. It takes courage, and that's all.
Each of us can recall a situation which can be regarded as traumatic.The only thing to do is to acknowledge the pain and anger that You carefully hide it from yourself. Believe me, all the forces of the man go to pretend — "I'm not hurt", "I was not hurt". Hurt.
And the first step in the program "Forgiveness," to admit that You still have someone to forgive that You too man and just like all, all the pain react to humiliation. To accept the event as an insult, to endure this insult, understand that "trying to do a beautiful face on a bad game", hiding from all your reactions, deprived You of all forces.
Some "invented" a character. For example, they decided: "I am not jealous." This is aunt Claudia's jealous because she's a fool. And I above this, I'm smart. And here invented character makes you hate the fact that the other will quietly spill out in a fit of jealousy. Be patient, as we were taught in childhood — harmful. No, I do not encourage anyone to discharge is available only to isteroidy, who awarded low intelligence. I urge not just to bury your head in the sand and learn to listen to yourself.Raise your self esteem? Step two. Find your own inspiration in
what we want from our parents is not ours. What You want from their children is not them. What is fashionable is not always suitable for everyone. It would seem that some hackneyed thoughts! Yes, but why so many people around you does their job? I am not just talking about career, God bless her, profession.I'm talking about choosing friends and choosing the Hobbies and Hobbies, choice of spouse, finally.
Don't tell me that you were betrothed before you were born. Saw that bought...
The slave mentality of insecure person makes us follow someone else's idea of happiness and always in good taste. But the star will be the only one who does not care at all. Who has the courage to be non-conformist. Therefore, the stars fall former losers. They long ago gave up on that someone to like. And went his way.
And you know, it turned out that it works... A great psychologist, successful writer and our contemporary, Mikhail Efimovich Litvak described the case of one patient came to a therapist.
This young man was born in a family where all the men were the surgeons. So he was destined to go to medical school and come out with a diploma of a surgeon. But he didn't want to operate, he was afraid. It was not his. But the will of the family was adamant. He just didn't see myself in any other profession, even in another Department didn't see myself. Right, because "the therapist is your son", to paraphrase a famous anecdote. What to do? The situation is a stalemate.
And then his body found a way out of an unsolvable situation. In 30 years the boy began to shake hands, impaired vision and in addition to this there were signs of strange cardiac arrhythmia. He was a wreck in 30 years.All his body was invented with one purpose in mind: just because dad forbids me to leave the family career, I'm good for nothing disabled and then it will relieve itself of this burden.
As soon as he stopped working as a surgeon, all symptoms disappeared and he was completely healthy and happy person. You know what the interesting thing about this story? Litvak, it seems, has described it himself, his biography ... A confident person is beautiful. And it is possible. After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And we told You already two.
Author: Helen Nazarenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©