2 Skills for Success in Communication: 2A You need to be authentic and appropriate.

2 Skills for Success in Communication: 2A You need to be authentic and appropriate.


Imagine a situation: you enter a meeting room where potential business partners are waiting for you. One wrong phrase, an inaccurately chosen tone, or a fake smile can cost you a million dollars. Or another scenario: you try to explain to your teen why learning is important, but every word you say meets a blank wall of misunderstanding. What unites these situations? Quality of communication. The simple but revolutionary formula for success is the rule of two A’s: authenticity and adequacy.

Modern research in the field of neurolinguistics shows that the human brain is able to determine the sincerity of the interlocutor in the first 150 milliseconds of communication. This happens on a subconscious level, long before we start analyzing words. Harvard University professor Amy Cuddy has shown that people intuitively evaluate two key qualities: reliability (associated with authenticity) and competence (associated with adequacy).


Authenticity: The Art of Being Yourself
Authenticity in communication is not just a buzzword from the world of coaching. It is a fundamental principle based on the alignment of your inner beliefs, emotions, and external manifestations. When you are authentic, your voice, gestures, facial expressions and words are in harmony, creating a powerful resonance of trust.

Let’s take a real example from corporate practice. The CEO of one of Silicon Valley’s largest tech companies, Microsoft’s Satya Nadella, has fundamentally changed the company’s culture by applying the principle of authenticity. Instead of the traditional authoritarian style of government, he began to speak openly about his doubts, share personal stories and admit mistakes. The result? Microsoft’s capitalization has more than tripled during his tenure.


Neurobiology of Authenticity
When we behave insincerely, the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for control and suppression, is activated. This requires additional energy costs and creates cognitive dissonance, which is captured on an intuitive level through the micro-expressions of the face and tonality of the voice.




Practical techniques for developing authenticity include regular reflection on one’s true motives, practicing mindfulness, and developing emotional intelligence. Studies show that people who practice mindfulness meditation for at least 10 minutes a day show significantly higher levels of authenticity in communication.


Before an important conversation, ask yourself three questions: “What do I really feel?”, “What do I sincerely want to achieve?”, and “How can I express it honestly but tactfully?” This simple technique will help you tune in to the wave of authenticity.


Adequacy: The art of understanding context
If authenticity is your inner honesty, then adequacy is outer wisdom. This is the ability to read the context of the situation, understand the needs of the interlocutor and adapt their behavior, without losing sincerity.


Adequacy requires social intelligence—the ability to understand and act effectively in social situations. Daniel Goleman, the author of the concept of emotional intelligence, identifies four key components: self-awareness, self-control, social awareness and relationship management.


A study conducted at Stanford University found that people with high social intelligence earn on average 58% more than their counterparts with similar professional experience but lower EQ.


Imagine the situation: you are the manager and you need to inform the team about the upcoming cuts. Authenticity requires honesty about a situation, but adequacy dictates choosing the right time, place, and way to present information. A successful leader will find a balance between sincerity and tact, between truth and empathy.


Practical strategies for developing adequacy

The first strategy is to develop active listening skills. This is not just silence during the speech of the interlocutor, but a deep immersion in his world. The technique of “mirroring” helps to show the interlocutor that you understand him: paraphrase his words, reflect emotions, ask clarifying questions.


The second strategy is calibration for the audience. The same message should sound different to different people. Talk to an analyst with figures and facts, to a creative with images and metaphors, to a leader with results and benefits.




The DISC Model in Communication
Use the DISC model to quickly adapt your communication style: Dominant type values brevity and results, Influencer - enthusiasm and recognition, Stable - security and support, Corresponding - accuracy and detail.


The Synergy of Two As: Where Authenticity and Adequacy Meet

True mastery of communication is achieved at the intersection of authenticity and adequacy. It's not a compromise, it's a synthesis -- the ability to be yourself, adapting to the situation. Like a violinist who plays his own unique part, but in harmony with the orchestra.


Consider an example from the world of politics. Barack Obama, recognized as one of the best speakers of our time, masterfully combines these two skills. His speeches are always sincere and emotionally intense (authentic), but at the same time accurately tuned to the audience - whether it is a speech at the university or an address to the nation (adequacy).


Formula 2A in Action Before each important conversation, make a mini-plan: determine your true position (authenticity), study the interlocutor and context (adequacy), find intersection points where your sincerity meets their needs.


Overcoming Barriers: When Authenticity Conflicts with Adequacy

Sometimes it seems that being sincere and being appropriate are mutually exclusive. How to be honest but not offend? How to express disagreement without destroying a relationship? The secret is that true authenticity involves wisdom and empathy.


Use the “positive framing” technique: instead of “Your idea isn’t working,” say “I see value in your approach, and I want to share some considerations that may reinforce it.” You remain honest in your assessment, but you express it constructively.


Neuroscience of Communication: What Happens in the Brain

Current research using fMRI shows that when we encounter authentic communication, the mirror neuron system – the same areas of the brain that are active in the speaker – is activated. This creates a literal “brain consonance,” a foundation for deep understanding and trust.


A study by neuroeconomist Paul Zack showed that during sincere communication, the level of oxytocin (trust hormone) in the blood increases by 13%, which is comparable to the effect of hugging with a loved one.


Adequacy activates areas related to the theory of mind—the ability to understand other people’s mental states. When these systems work in synchrony, the optimal environment for effective communication is created.


Practical application: tools of a successful communicator

Emotional honesty: Instead of suppressing unpleasant emotions, learn to express them in an environmentally friendly way. “I feel frustrated about this situation, and I want to find a solution that suits everyone” – this approach shows both authenticity and adequacy.


Contextual Adaptation: Before important negotiations, examine the cultural, professional and personal context of the interlocutors. This does not mean pretending, it means choosing the most appropriate aspects of your personality for a given situation.


After an important conversation, ask yourself two questions: “Have I been honest with myself and the interlocutor?” (authenticity) and “Have I considered the needs and context of the situation?” (adequacy). If both answers are yes, you are on the right track.


Conclusion: The Path to Mastery

Formula 2A is not just a communicative technique, it is a philosophy of interaction with the world. It requires constant development of self-awareness and social intelligence, but it yields incredible results. People who master these skills become natural leaders, successful negotiators, and simply happier in personal relationships.


Remember, authenticity without adequacy is selfishness, and adequacy without authenticity is manipulation. Only their balance creates the magic of true communication that can change the world around you.


Glossary
Authenticity
Personality quality, characterized by the correspondence of internal beliefs, emotions and external manifestations; sincerity and authenticity in behavior and communication.

Adequacy
The ability to understand the context of the situation and adapt their behavior to the circumstances, needs of the interlocutor and social norms.

Emotional intelligence
The ability to recognize, understand and manage one’s emotions, and to interact effectively with others’ emotions.

Mirror neurons
Nerve cells that are activated both by performing an action and by watching another being perform the same action; the basis of empathy and understanding.

Social intelligence
The ability to understand people’s social situations, motivations and behaviors, and to interact effectively in a social environment.

Cognitive dissonance
Psychological discomfort arising from the clash of conflicting beliefs, values or attitudes in one person.

Active hearing
Communication technique, involving full attention to the interlocutor, understanding not only words, but also emotions, and active feedback.

Oxytocin
The hormone produced by the hypothalamus, often referred to as the “trust hormone” or “attachment hormone”; increases with positive social interaction.