Usually at 8:30 PM I give to my two daughters-teenagers, a sort of warning shot. And at 9 PM I have already openly say: “You need to go to your room”. I say this almost every night. And every time they argue: “But why do we have to go to bed at 9? We're not little!“.
"You do not have to go to bed, you can do something in my room — but I ask you to leave the living room. My mom haven't seen each other all day, bored, and this is our time, we want to communicate”.
GIRLS USUALLY ROLL THEIR EYES AND SNORT.
Honestly, this rule existed in our home since time immemorial. We are parents for 15 years, and never was such that the children took up ALL our time entirely during the whole day. Yes, we are very much involved in them — but not 24 hours a day. We love our children, and, of course, they play an important role in our lives. And we will always support them and help them.But, there are still “we”. Our relationship. And we still need to pay attention to ensure that these relationships remain strong, close and healthy.
And that's why it's so important:
A HEALTHY MARRIAGE IS THE CORNERSTONE OF THE FAMILY.The cornerstone of your family — not your kids.
They are part of the Foundation and most of the rest, but they do not keep for yourself the whole structure. The most important part is you and your wife, husband, partner.
And your children look at you, take with you an example and referring to your experience, choose its direction.
BEFORE MY KIDS WERE BORN WAS “YOU” — YOUR PAIR.
First, no children. We first fell for each other, together, skipping classes, talking until the morning on the phone (he was still hanging on the wall, and he had a long cord), and in the end decided to stay together forever. We were in the beginning. And we started this whole family history.
And only after that came our beautiful children. And we are terribly happy and thankful, because they give us so much light and joy. But our Union is sacred. And it is this sacredness, we need to make every effort to protect.AFTER THE CHILDREN GROW UP, WE WILL BE TOGETHER.
Nothing lasts forever. Our children will soon grow up and leave the nest. Don't know about you, but I personally am not going to nurture his 30-year-old children and provide them with another room — let them live on their own. So, when they go from us, will lead their families and raise their children, I would like our relationship with my wife remained as strong and close as in the beginning.
And in order to secure such a future, we must work on relationships now. It is our relationships, not our children should be a priority.
WE NEED TO SHOW CHILDREN A GOOD EXAMPLEAs I said, kids watch us and take us as an example. From us they learn how to build and maintain relationships.
I often say, “we need to Educate adults, not children.” Don't know about you, but I'd like to see my children grow with normal healthy attitude toward Dating, love and family.
That is why a healthy relationship with my wife are my priority — because children learn by watching us. So my wife first, and children second. Very close to the first, second — but still second.At the end of the day we all are tired and strained. And Yes, your children need you, they are very important. They are an important second place after your spouse.
Not friends, not colleagues, not friends and Hobbies. The children and wife. And you have to take care of children, butin the first place — to care for the preservation of good relations in your pair.
When children see as a father loves their mother and as a mother appreciates the father, they gain confidence that they too are loved, important and valued, they gain confidence in the world around them.
We live in a crazy schedule. Things-things-things. And constantly, the children we give the children lots of attention. That is why at exactly 9 PM every day I ask my children to go up to my room. That is why my wife a couple times a month will certainly plan a date and go out somewhere together. Because it is important. Because first there was “we”
Author: Mike Berry
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©