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The worst enemy of women
"You look at her. Show off! It had to be put on this" commented one woman the appearance of a stranger who passed by to get in line at the bar.
"It's Saturday night, and not the ball, Cinderella!" she continued, and her friend added: "What was she thinking when I wore that dress? That sequins will invite her on a date?"
The group of friends laughed. I was shocked, it was very rude and inappropriate comments.
What if I told you?
I wondered why these women said? Why do they even care of how I dressed the other woman? How would I feel if their comments were in my party? I looked at my dress. They would say that I show off too? Maybe I really wanted to attract attention.
And then I realized, where such criticism can result. It is indirect aggression, and it is the reason why we women get stuck in a stuffy space, a meaningless competition with other women. Stew in the soup of the estimates of other women about our appearance. The feeling of insecurity about our appearance, achievements and goals. We continue to support the false idea that we women in General, not good enough.
Unfunny about women's solidarity
One study in 2011 showed that at the sight of attractive women, 85% of women releases a very negative comment about her appearance. In this case the one to which these remarks are directed, feels like a social outcast and suffers, as if it caused physical pain. Someone can say that competition between women is the biological.
Biological or social — it doesn't matter, because we always have a choice. We can decide to stop demeaning each other and start supporting each other. In a society that strive for gender equality to be an example — a question of principle.
To be a strong woman who helps others. Do not take this competition, which we impose. When we support each other, then break this vicious circle and allow each to Express themselves better in everything. And if you want to know how to do it, there are a few simple strategies.
Eradicate the evil in the circle of friends
Look at women with whom you communicate, consider your topic, your style of speaking about other women. Do not gossip yourself and stop friends. Some may feel awkward, but you will stop this negative trend.
Be honest with yourself
And you do not fall into the same "sin"? Each of us occasionally turns out to be a critic of someone else's dress, manners to speak or behave. No need to be ashamed of.We must take responsibility for his words and apologize when and where it is needed.
Understand your motives
Analyze — what makes you treat other women. Perhaps, in order to understand, you will need to talk with a friend or with a psychologist. What motivates you to join the competition with other women or to pour out upon them the negative?
Appreciate and praise each other
A friend or colleague who got a promotion for your hard work? Congratulate her! The woman wore a sequined dress and heels out of place? Her so well, she feels more confident after breaking up with someone you didn't think of that? Praise her: it's so cool to do what gives you pleasure!
Value yourself
Talk about your success, share it. Focus on your successes, not on comparison with others.Become the best version of myself. You inspire women around to do the same.
The male gaze on the female body
Dignity & Sufficiency
Remember the words of U.S. Secretary of state Madeleine Albright: "hell has a special place for those women who don't help other women". Ladies, wear sequins, rhinestones and feathers when you want. And pay no attention to those who want to upset or offend you.published
Author: Sarah Gerster
Source: womo.ua/hudshiy-vrag-zhenshhinyi-nam-pora-prekratit-unizhat-drug-druga/
"It's Saturday night, and not the ball, Cinderella!" she continued, and her friend added: "What was she thinking when I wore that dress? That sequins will invite her on a date?"
The group of friends laughed. I was shocked, it was very rude and inappropriate comments.
What if I told you?
I wondered why these women said? Why do they even care of how I dressed the other woman? How would I feel if their comments were in my party? I looked at my dress. They would say that I show off too? Maybe I really wanted to attract attention.
And then I realized, where such criticism can result. It is indirect aggression, and it is the reason why we women get stuck in a stuffy space, a meaningless competition with other women. Stew in the soup of the estimates of other women about our appearance. The feeling of insecurity about our appearance, achievements and goals. We continue to support the false idea that we women in General, not good enough.
Unfunny about women's solidarity
One study in 2011 showed that at the sight of attractive women, 85% of women releases a very negative comment about her appearance. In this case the one to which these remarks are directed, feels like a social outcast and suffers, as if it caused physical pain. Someone can say that competition between women is the biological.
Biological or social — it doesn't matter, because we always have a choice. We can decide to stop demeaning each other and start supporting each other. In a society that strive for gender equality to be an example — a question of principle.
To be a strong woman who helps others. Do not take this competition, which we impose. When we support each other, then break this vicious circle and allow each to Express themselves better in everything. And if you want to know how to do it, there are a few simple strategies.
Eradicate the evil in the circle of friends
Look at women with whom you communicate, consider your topic, your style of speaking about other women. Do not gossip yourself and stop friends. Some may feel awkward, but you will stop this negative trend.
Be honest with yourself
And you do not fall into the same "sin"? Each of us occasionally turns out to be a critic of someone else's dress, manners to speak or behave. No need to be ashamed of.We must take responsibility for his words and apologize when and where it is needed.
Understand your motives
Analyze — what makes you treat other women. Perhaps, in order to understand, you will need to talk with a friend or with a psychologist. What motivates you to join the competition with other women or to pour out upon them the negative?
Appreciate and praise each other
A friend or colleague who got a promotion for your hard work? Congratulate her! The woman wore a sequined dress and heels out of place? Her so well, she feels more confident after breaking up with someone you didn't think of that? Praise her: it's so cool to do what gives you pleasure!
Value yourself
Talk about your success, share it. Focus on your successes, not on comparison with others.Become the best version of myself. You inspire women around to do the same.
The male gaze on the female body
Dignity & Sufficiency
Remember the words of U.S. Secretary of state Madeleine Albright: "hell has a special place for those women who don't help other women". Ladies, wear sequins, rhinestones and feathers when you want. And pay no attention to those who want to upset or offend you.published
Author: Sarah Gerster
Source: womo.ua/hudshiy-vrag-zhenshhinyi-nam-pora-prekratit-unizhat-drug-druga/
