Find out WHAT's hiding behind your dislike of others

Often they talk about love and falling in love. Why for a change not to talk about hatred. Not even about her, per se, because the feeling is strong, and not all of it capable. Let's talk about... the hostility (which, by the way, we often take for hatred).

Surrounded by each of us, there are people to whom we feel it. Life is life and there is a lot going on, not always pleasant.

Well, if we understand the cause of his dislike when the reason for this is obvious: we disliked that person for something specific, and he knows it and we're not going to hide it. This is the easiest option.





Photographer A. Borisov

And did it occur — that person seems nice and treats you adequately and to share you with her, and nothing she did anything bad to you. But she does not like you and all! And, "don't like" is an understatement! You literally cringe from negative emotions, surging, is the unfortunate appear in your field of vision!

Why you can not understand, the more angry, communicate with each other is impossible. Well, if you can just disperse in time and space and never meet again. But if it's your boss? Or just co — worker sitting in the cubicle across from you? Or male best friend? It turns solid suffering.

You probably won't be surprised if I say that all over again, blame our subconscious. You have no idea how this "pantry" unconscious, but mighty attitudes, motives, motives can influence our lives, and especially emotions.

And hostility is one of the most uncontrolled and strong emotions. When psychologists have to work with the problems in the relationship, including hostility is one of the first places, their main goal is "to put to control" those emotions which readily gives us our subconscious.

Learned how to control — so half have learned to cope with them. And the first condition for control over something — to know your "controlled" in the face, that is, to understand the origin of something or other unpleasant feeling, in this case, dislike.

In psychology there is such a thing as "projection". For example, was in your life episode, extremely unpleasant for you. And you tried to forget him and maybe you did it. But suddenly found the man, something similar to the person with whom were associated the unpleasant memories in the past.

Perhaps he had a similar voice or style of dressing, and maybe a tie of the same color, or hair looks like — just the relative similarities and our subconscious "knows" it. And all the "POPs" with a new force: all those negative feelings, all the animosity is transferred to a new person, whose only fault is that it reminds you of the troubles in the past. Man, as they say, "neither sleep nor spirit," and you are literally overwhelmed with negative emotions from only one of its kind.

Another type of "projection": who had the misfortune to witness the trouble that happened to you, any embarrassment, failure, you don't know. Emotions about the incident have seemingly cooled down in your soul, however, as can be seen, not until the end. Because once you accidentally meet his unwitting witness how the bad memories rolled on you, only this time in the form of hostility to this particular person. You, like, carry all the negativity from him.

And we don't like "the mirror". Why in quotation marks? Because they have no mirror as such, but an exact copy, mirroring in some other man carefully hide our negative qualities. For example, you deep down know you (what's there to be honest!) — Terry selfish. And your inner circle have repeatedly hinted you on that. You somehow learned to live with it, something resigned, something carefully hidden, track your actions, words and emotions. This, it is possible to learn any person is forced to adapt in society.

This is especially true of errors that are extremely difficult to fight that we, as they say, in the blood. And suddenly, in your environment, there is a person in which you like in the mirror to see himself in all his egotistical "beauty". And he does not think to hide this disadvantage, and may not consider it a disadvantage! And how dare he! Here and erupts with unstoppable force your dislike for this "squirt".

Moreover, the quality that you dislike and carefully concealed, can be anything: punctuality (how dare he be late, because I have time!), Carelessness (I'm not!), Irresistible flirting with everyone ( what a hussy, and hung all around his neck!) etc. so what to do we do not like such "mirrors"... Another known fact: if, due to circumstances of life pushes in a space of two born leaders, they are unlikely to burn up with love for each other. Such hostility sometimes better than any of the tests produces a secret kinship ...





Another reason we may experience a subconscious aversion to a particular person, it is, oddly enough, a sense of duty. For example, until now you talked to a person without any tension, considered cute and pleasant in all respects a companion, and maybe even his buddy or friend. But at one point life was so that this man you really helped, not necessarily financially.

It would seem that you have that man to the end of his days to be thankful... But something does not work. Now you have no right to treat her the way you want, and just as it should. And this "debt" hanging on the neck, not just killing the previous relaxed relationships, but also enriches their negativity on your part. Of course, it happens not always, but often. No wonder there is a saying: "I Want to lose a friend — give him money".

I can quote here another cause of hostility which sometimes feel. Although it occurs not so often, but it is the best demonstration of all those "jokes" that sometimes "chips" with us in our subconscious. Sometimes negative emotion we feel towards someone, is only a consequence of the suppression of even stronger feelings of sexual desire.

It happens to us in those cases, if to satisfy this desire is impossible in any way. For example, you have a strictly professional relationship, which in any case can not be translated into any other (more expensive), or the passion of proprietary, or at all you are bound by the relationship. Such repressed sexual desire develops into more, no less power, but it is acceptable by society to dislike or even hatred.

 



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LAW, not chance — your thoughts are real!

 

Of course, this is not all of the reasons that can cause us the feeling of hostility to the innocent person. If you have to look deeper into myself and look for the same reason, the hostility of his you'll cope much easier and faster. After all, in the end, she lives not spoil anyone else, but you and only you. published

 



Source: www.qui.help/blog/chto-skryvaetsya-v-vas-za-nepriyaznyu-k-drugim