I want my respect for men. Without "the man" "real men extinct" and "I must win".
And I can write, because childhood friends only with boys. The circle of women whom I trust, is incredibly narrow, and if we speak frankly, – with all their femininity and dresses they have a lot of shit that I love men – faithfulness, peace, self-reliance and the ability to see the forest for the trees.
I am no longer in the marriage market (a few years is long?) and do not stop working on so as not to get out there soon never. Friends-men also became less likely: for Sasha such addiction of his wife in terms of friendship came to break the pattern to his Universe "friendship girl" – is "when you just got dumped, and you still do not give up", so really calmly and fully, he admitted only those who got their own relationships and families.
However, I was not trying to prove to him that "no, honey, it's not, this friendship is – you just don't understand!" – to me the important thing was not the dragon, the man I love and not try to prove to him his innocence.
By the way, later I was thinking about a couple of episodes of his "friendship" with the calls until the morning for the brandy and it suddenly occurred to me: it would be a brandy then a little more – would be one friend less, and what I wanted to believe – so this was my way to reconcile yourself with reality.
In any case, I grew up in a tradition of respect for men.
Perhaps because I have a pretty harsh dad, to which curve Mare will not approach. So I was so weird and so nice when just starting out with me, Sasha insisted that I was introduced to his parents so that they know "where and with whom their daughter" and not to worry.
And then, when the time came, so the old-fashioned way – but how beautiful and worthy – asked my father for my hand. And when the two main men in my life shook hands (I think my dad even shed a tear), I felt as invisible ended one relationship and started another, and now, "from now till the end of time", I under the protection of another man – her husband.
Honestly – I would never want to trade places with men. Because I look at them and understand them to be harder.
When I care about the man, I just make his life more comfortable. When he cares about me – he is always in some way closes me my life
: when driving on slippery roads, is satisfied with our future, and protects the house. He's always covering me even in my dreams: some tenth sense of making sure I do not accidentally fell from the couch, not opened and frozen, not sick.
I look at how boys become men, and suddenly realize: my whole life man is always something someone proves
, protects against external forces that is valuable for him.
And set the objectives, clearly separating the future into segments and determining check-points.
Maybe I'm wrong woman, but I never look beyond the new year – let it be as it will; the kiss – I'll think of something. Thing is, I never loomed the prospect of her apartment, received an inheritance, but even this fact didn't make me think about, "where will I live when I grow up".
Yes, on any of my work, I always wanted to earn more, but not to achieve any sort of global material goals, and to live for today was fun
– to put in the basket products without looking at the price tag, to order any dish in cafe, to buy dresses and tickets to Peter when necessary.
And looking at the men around – after 30, of the free, but focus on the family
, I understand that in their mind constantly is in the process of finding the optimal policy: how to solve the housing issue, how much to defer, to change the car (and by how much time it needed to sell to not lose in the price), what are the options to improve the position and salary, which Deposit choose to begin to provide for their old age, and what program to insure, to minimize the risks of sudden collapse...
And all this with even greater intensity, if the man has a family and children
(and even more – if the wife in the decree, and he is now the only breadwinner in the family). You can't "get tired and go to think about life"
(although can be very zae...tsya) – behind you two or three mouth
. Can't afford to risk your business or job, to overspend and to get involved in a dangerous adventure, knowing that if you or your income something happens, will suffer not only you.
I admire men who are aware of this. I have great respect for women who understand how difficult it is in this period, her husband, and learn not to wash his brain with his lack of sleep and fatigue. Both incredibly hard
, but here and now, under the circumstances, this is no time to find out who is unhappy and whose sacrifice more.I like the phrase "it's not your war"
, and I believe that our internal war is not something where you want to draw another, especially if their own battle every day.
Once it so happened that where a man, there is definitely a "must"
. And this "should" a little fun. There is no place for "I want to whirl around and dress". But a lot of boring questions that need to be addressed to not only stay afloat, but to move on.
(I'm talking about the model family, where the male head of the family, and this position is not disputed: all comfortable
. There is no trading on the subject of who earns more, no one is oppressed, does not put before the fact, not trying to manipulate, to Express grievance or protest: problems blurts, questions are discussed, unpleasant – not silenced
And I clearly understand that men have special energy – to move, to achieve, to push, to shove, to push, to think ahead, to seek benefits
. My female (or just the one that I have, so no generalizations) it is not enough, she's actually from another test.
But I know how to build a small action plan routine, to calm, to distribute, to structure, to notice and to feel.
I constantly focus on today: what's for dinner, what products and where it is more convenient to buy from which to gather your lunch for tomorrow; I'll always remember when you need to restock toilet paper, spices, sunflower oil, sugar, toothpaste; I can clearly say, when flour and salt are there in the house the vinegar, soda and how many pills left from the head.
I have a full day in the office, rich tasks, and communication (commercials the last 10 years without a break), and two projects. But I still wouldn't want to trade places with her husband: to lead, to be responsible for financial strategy and security, to lead the team, never allow yourself to become limp and fall into panic, especially at home, because it will be instantly caught up, disseminated and enlarged the others.
We all meet by ACCIDENT...Look for THEIR
In General, why all this long talk: it is fine to be proud, strong and independent woman who don't need anyone to be happy. But even more beautiful sometimes to get down off your broomstick and try on something is a man around, and ask yourself: and I would have pulled, managed, coped? Would it do me well? I would not me? And I would do
it for me, that's the way I am right now?
And maybe instead of another fast worker solutions and a sentence of hopelessness we get a little better feel for each other, to become one step closer, gentler, stronger and stronger together.published
Author: Olga Primachenko