Unsolicited advisers: set the distance with such people!

Your life path is yours alone, therefore, cannot be allowed to the judgment and opinions of others shaped the way of your life. And if constructive criticism can contribute to your personal growth, the negative judgment will bring you nothing but harm. Therefore, it is recommended to be able to withstand them.

 

Very often we build our lives not only according to their own desires, but obligations, which impose on us strangers by criticism, blame, and advice.

Judging by the number of the latter sometimes believe that others know better than us what we should do in a given situation.





I want to say that you don't worry? Not true.

None of us is easy to ignore the comments and advice of the "wise" people who interfere in our lives. It's especially hard to resist them when advisers are important to us people: relatives and family members, friends...

But is it possible to be friends of the person who dares to judge you superficially, not delving into the depth of your emotions and feelings, not imagining what life experience behind you? Their diversity determines your every move.

If someone thinks that he knows better than you what to do, he borrowed "my shoes." Let the counselor will try to follow your way, with all its obstacles, pits, boulders, turbulent mountain streams.

With many of them you had to manage everything by herself, not relying on others for help. In our today's article we would like to speculate a bit about it.

 

Our way of life unique

See that reflection in the mirror? Is that you? You're not only is a reflection, with his gestures, facial expressions, words, turned to the others.

This reflection hides a long career and great experience. Each day placed a mark on your inner world. Who are you? No one but you can never give a truthful answer to this question.

It's certainly not easy to recognize for the appearance of the man all the pain, deceit, betrayal, loss, defeat and victory, which he had to endure. Few of us daily devotes others to the riddle of his past.

So why then in our lives so often there are people ready easy to judge us, not knowing what was due to our decision?

 





Usually, people who often presume to judge others, are dissatisfied and disappointed in life.

• Such people are angry with themselves and project that frustration on others by trying to control their lives and interfere in the Affairs of others.
• Each of us knows the situation when our loved ones begin to criticize us: "You're too trusting, that's why you these things happen", "You've done wrong, you feel like you can move mountains, but it is not".
• Very often the aim of such criticism is the desire to help us and teach a lesson. But in reality, lies behind this attempt to control our lives, to oblige us to act according to their own conception of life and way of thinking.
• In some cases, attempts to judge others there is a hidden desire to justify their own actions, which people cannot forgive themselves. The more they criticize others, especially the saints seem to themselves. This is a fairly common situation.
• When people start to condemn us, they can't provide any arguments, and arguments, which could be useful to us. Often their criticism is reminiscent of the attack and the attack. They are trying to devalue our personality. While logical arguments in their criticism do not exist.
• Often such people are not capable of self-criticism, the evaluation of their own actions, deeds and words. It is difficult for them to notice their own mistakes and understand when their actions begin to cause pain and to cause inconvenience to others. All the criticism they direct at others, forgetting about themselves.
• Typically, these people have very poor personal lives, they have Hobbies, they don't have enough emotions to fill your inner world. Their own life is boring, so they try to diversify it through twists and turns, challenges and adventures of others.

 How to protect yourself from uninvited advisersVery often we say that such criticism doesn't hurt us and has no effect on our lives. That might be true when talking about completely unfamiliar to us humans. In this case, unpleasant words are quickly forgotten.

When criticism is taken a close and important to us the people to defend against it is not so simple.

What happens when our lives with unsolicited advice interfering our friends, partners or relatives?

In this case, we are born of resentment, their words hurt us deeply.

What should I do? Stay calm! Try to concentrate on myself. This will help you these words:

"I know who I am and what I represent. I've been through a lot in life and I am proud of each small victory over the difficulties I had to overcome.

Every mistake taught me an important lesson, every failure brought me a unique experience that will serve me in the future.

Nobody has the right to judge me. The only fair judge — I. Because only I know actually how I feel. Only I know what makes me happy, and how perfectly I feel with myself".

 

• Show hardness and protect their self-esteem. Do not try to hurt the other party in response to his attacks. If we are angry or trying to insult the counselor, the situation will bring us more harm and get rid of negative feelings.

 

• You should give the other person understand that nobody has the right to judge you and give advice like that. If this happens, it shows that the other person you don't know. Show him your disappointment.

 

• A true companion will never criticize you. If this happens, then it is not the man who is truly to share with you your way of life. And no matter how close is this man. They can be mother, brother, spouse...

 

• If that person does not acknowledge your right to be wrong and continues to condemn you, he may have too high self esteem. He thinks he is perfect, he thinks that mistakes are made only by others, but bad decisions are accepted by all but themselves. In this case, the person has no ability to self-criticism and empathy.

 

 

Also interesting: Criticism is an event in someone else's head: how to respond to the comments in his address

How to respond to criticism — 5 useful tips

 

 

If every day you are exposed to condemnation and criticism from loved ones, in the end, people's opinions will assume control of your life. This should not be allowed.

In this case, it is worth considering, it might be better to set the distance in the relationship with such people. This is the only way, if they are not able to appreciate and accept you for who you are, and also to see your strengths and inner light that you radiate. published

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: steptohealth.ru/tem-kto-osudit-menya-ya-predlozhu-svoi-tufli-chtoby-povtorit-moj-put/