Post-revelation. About sex and sex education. Particularly moral today is better not to read. Or are they — first of all, I don't know...
Oh, and you know what sex is?
-Fry... I'll tell.
And a neighbor boy, telling me what it is. Detail. Even too much detail. There is a lot unclear to me swear words, but he does not swear — they just call IT that. Talks about the ropes that bind, about the posture, when "like a dog", about where that shove, and how it hurts...
Sunny summer day, we sit under the Apple tree in the yard and sweet talk my parents off in the distance banging on about it with his grandmother, and I look at red, already matured Ranetki and perceive the world. Listen carefully, not moving and barely even breathing.
Photo Alicja Brodowicz
I'm five years old...
But the winter, I carry my knowledge to the masses, telling her friends in silence nurseries terrible secrets. Braiding braids Barbie zeju through his teeth: Oh, you little...
In the spring of my knowledge revealed in the most unexpected way. My friend Daniil, who came to visit us with their parents, tells me a secret, falling in love with a girl from kindergarten and wants to write her a letter, but can not write. And I know how. Though the printed letters, but that's okay, because the main result.
The result is a leaf from a notebook in Ticker, where the most decent of the writing — I want to fuck you... I'm not trying to deceive anyone, I really from the heart to help. Danilka hides the paper in his pocket, satisfied that tomorrow, finally admits his love for the same girl. I can still remember that twinkle in his eyes at that moment.
Happiness girls and for my trouble, after returning home, the parents Danilko find a note, find out all the circumstances and they ride at a gallop back to visit... What happened next, don't know, but I, for some unknown reason, not rushed. Although I actually was ready to suffer for the truth.
It will take a week or two and parents coming home from the store with the words:
'Here are you a new owner bought the stick I thin blue magazine and delicately turn away. I now understand about "gently turn". Then I innocently opened the book, saw SOOOO picture that I almost fainted, quickly shut the pages and thought, "God, they just didn't see what I bought!"
I could not believe that adequate, sane parents could give the child this book. Most likely, they grabbed from the store shelves first and gave me. They do is not typical, but it's the only explanation I can find.
I move back into the room, like a cancer, hiding the book behind his back, and run shove it under the mattress – ooh, it seems, has carried by... I Read, as you know, at night. Under the covers with a flashlight. Sex fucking...
Parents what I have learned the material in that moment, when the pavement in front of the house begins to dapple the images of sperm. So what? I'm only 6 years old, the snow is already gone, and I love to draw with crayons. Draw what you know. Today I can draw sperm.
To speak on the topic of sex Mama with me and could not — the Soviet legacy, where it was universally common the virgin birth, made itself felt. Mother and now blushes at the word "sex." And if her utter the words "oral sex" then she will be silent the week — simply because in the process of speech also involve the mouth.
So to go from the idea of forced, perverted sex to understand that there is love, tenderness, harmonious partnership I had. And to be honest, I'm not sure that my first knowledge didn't affect me to this day.
As you have probably guessed, when my son was born, I understood clearly that no cabbage, storks and other flora-fauna in our home will be. Nothing but the truth. Normal words. And from a very early age.
At work a colleague asked how to discuss this topic with my daughter eight years, and then suddenly she is at school will tell. And in my mind – don-don-DON! The alarm bells at all! You're already late!!!
I understand that not everyone is as "lucky" as me with early sexual education, but I'm not alone, right? And that's a huge risk. Crippled ideals. Distorted morality. It is this that is corrected over the years. And sometimes not corrected at all. To talk about this difficult, but I think that exactly right.
My son is interested in the topic "where did I come from" and the first issues have arisen in two years. They were the most primitive, and the answer was not difficult:
— And where did I come from?
— From my mother's belly.
— How did you get out?
Thank you that I have a cesarean is so MUCH easier to explain... I show the scar and tell about the operation. And six months son enough. But in 3, he returns to the conversation:
— And as I came in her tummy?
— From seed.
— Who gave you the seed?
— And he like this seed how did you get it? Well, in the sense where?
Oh gods!!! And I thought I'm no prude... I brings cheekbones and lower abdomen from stress. I'm afraid to talk to son about IT, I'm uncomfortable, embarrassing and generally – look how a bird flies... But I remember ripe Ranetki on Apple, pick yourself up and continue as if nothing had happened:
— Ahh... — care issues child and goes on. The conversation is over. More it today do not care. And my labored "outran", among other things, too. I could say: from the ear, fingers, armpits – and he'd taken it well just as a matter of course. I go home and am very happy that today my torture is over.
But I know what lies ahead. What's next he'll be interested in the process of transferring seed – and I have to tell the truth. Believe? I don't want. Here is a direct quite and generally. But I'm going to talk about it and to appreciate the moment when the son comes up with similar questions to me and not to friends.
Steve Biddulph: Most people are simply programmed to misfortune7 mistakes of parents in conflict with children
I do not amuse myself with false hopes and know I will find someone who will tell him about ropes, Pro poses "like dogs" and so on, tell dirty words, Maraya everything it touches. But I want the son already knew that IT may be not only abusive words, that IT is generally initially about love. About trust. About reciprocity. And also about responsibility.published
Author: Lelia Tarasevich