What is important to know for parents of teen suicides, "sites of death" and the life of a child

1. When you receive any information that causes fear for his life or loved ones, especially children (we pronounce "cuts to the quick") information, provoking panic about swine flu, an extraordinary meteor, unplanned attack of aliens, any person for the time off rational critical thinking.

We become slaves. When we encounter information that causes panic is an occasion for us to take a breath, exhale, step back from the information at the time (to include rational thinking) and see what pushes us info or what is distracting.

As a rule, "for it" will be seen built for us (for us) the trajectory of thoughts and actions to urgently buy vaccines from the flu, to sell the houses in this district, vote for N supervise children, unplug from the Internet, no time to think something do it!!!

Our task, when we fall under the panic to do everything available to us (off the social network, do breathing exercises, take a shower, clap hands your body, draw a circle, put a point inside it (circle the boundaries of our inner space, the point we inside) to imagine beyond the boundaries of a circle the whole external, external information. Our task is to get out at least for a time under the waves of emotions, to begin gathering rational information.

Dear colleagues, when you create is highly required materials, please do not include statistics on child mortality. Any parent, seeing such statistics, does not respond to obnadejivayuschie numbers, there can be a number 1. But on the fact. And any number for him-not by rational information, and the confirmation of his fear.

2. I don't have 100% data and information to confirm what is written in rolling on the Internet article, as there is a 100% rebuttal. We will immediately consider two versions. If this is true, what to do and what safety. If this is true, then what to do. What kind of safety equipment.

3. From one of their teachers I know of the existence in Europe of closed teenage groups in which the children were involved in anorexia and bulimia. These groups were monitored, changed locations. "Them" were clearly adults. The group was called "Anna", "MIA" (anorexia, bulimia).

The "antidote" for these groups was the wave of photos, stories and promotions in support of the "healthy body", the appearance of the movie stars live, not anorexigennami forms, articles and materials on the formation of a healthy attachment. Anorexia and bulimia simpotmy disorders of attachment.

The bad news such group really exist. The good news is that in Ukraine for 7 years of tracking I have not seen mention of such groups. Don't know it's a matter of time, mentality or the conspiracy. The bad news programmers have confirmed that the track ' groups impossible. But at the request of certain services that should do it, administrators VK, FB and other needs to provide access to server data.

4. The more the family heard the words, all is lost, we do not what can not influence, the more the background of helplessness and "Vedomosti" of our children. The more specific, even small actions, the more their own small responsibility. Though the flowers watered or planted at the entrance, though the ballot box to put the garbage to separate the batteries to take, to collect books for the orphanage. The greater the feeling of personal power and usefulness to the world.

5. The bad news — before teenagers were clustered in subculture. Subculture was necessary for those who lacked the strength of his "I". As small fish gather in flocks, to big fish passing them one by one not eaten, and took the whole pack, as the big fish, and the children clustered together in subculture for leading his injury.

Most of all escalated subculture came out of them, finding their I. Communication in these subcultures was alive offline, still with greater predictability and responsibility. Modern subculture went to the net. The virtual world creates a trance, he really creates a sense of "parallel reality", the mirror. This TRANS is weakened criticality.

The more in the life of a child of any age virtual tablet space, the more should be "volumetric" three-dimensional actions and contacts (sculpt, do origami, create legohead, sew, do quilling, make model airplanes, collect 3D puzzles, going to the karting ...).

You should try to help the child to build new relationships in real life.

You need to create a ritual. It is also useful for those adults who are addicted to TV shows, sticks in the social network when the computer is turned off (the TV) need to do the action, "leading out of the trance," ring the bell, clap your hands, to wash. (A sign that we "snapped out of it" we can easily switch to all levels on a different task).

Common features of children described in the article. Prevention.

Uncritical perception of information. As soon as a question who are you? Why do we need to do? children were expelled from the group. We need to teach children and ourselves to ask awkward questions and generally ask questions (remember that you answered about 4 years for the child in all his "why?" grow up, you know? Or with him were looking for answers).

School, unfortunately, discourages the chance to ask questions at all. The child lives with a parent should be able to ask "why would I do that? ""why?".

We need action in the real world, involving logical thinking and a healthy criticality: westcounty, and city quests, puzzles, crosswords, detectives. Cutting, sawing, oddly enough, stimulate healthy criticality, selectivity and transformyour anxiety before the possibility of error.

Classical music stimulates the intellect. (Have you noticed that the classical music is difficult to advertise all kinds of nonsense? included resistance and criticality).

Music lessons develop different brain structures, including the critical and volitional sphere. Ensure that the child (and adult) there was a time without sound (no headphones, music, voices in the TV set), a few minutes of silence stimulates the hippocampus, which organizes information, helps to organize experiences and emotions. This will help at least to get out of the trance and to incorporate a healthy critical.

These children were specially disturbed sleep. Adolescence is the time exorbitant burden on all organ systems. Sleep — ability to organize information and restore on all levels. Proselochnoy state is TRANS. During such a trance it is possible to indoctrinate a child (and adult) anything.

If the child does not get enough sleep it increases the level of anxiety, suggestibility, lowered immunity, both physical and psychological. He becomes more categorical, as the world of a teenager and so black and white. Sleepy teenager perceives the signals of the external world through the filter. What's the filter he put in or he raised the snake difficult to understand.


They were listening to "special music" and read certain texts. Songs and poems introduce us to the TRANS. Any aligning effect on stem structure of the brain and often information is perceived to bypass consciousness. We remember the feeling of reading and listening, and not specific information.

Analyze the texts themselves songs you like and listen to, especially driving, when the brain is occupied by the control expensive Analyze the poems that you read. I sincerely ask that you listen to the children and what they read. TRANS can be positive .

They "deserved" part of the group. If inside us there is a program — love, attention, encouragement, stroking, need to earn, we are easy to plant the hook. Children need to know that the love of parents, place in the heart of the parents - they have always been.

Do you have a child that feeling when you love me just like that? This feeling can only give one parent who he thinks he is. Is formed this feeling before 2 years. There is a cartoon "Chicken little", which you can watch for one sentence dad of the main character "I'm so sorry that you thought my love must be earned".

They have a purpose and a sense of belonging to chemuto more. Do you have a child in real life sensation WE? Are there any home rituals do you have a feeling of belonging to the force? Is there a sense of responsibility and their contribution to the family?

The first homework assignment I give to families is to take a family portrait, where would all the family members. It needs to hang in the baby's room, to the subconscious are perceived — we're a gang.

The sense of their value and importance in life. Does the child about his most Mature qualities and his value to us and the world? As a rule, we pay attention to, especially in adolescence, roughness, burrs and complexity. If you still have the child in contact with his value?

All of these children played "another game". They accepted the rules of a foreign game. Do you have a child in real life, the ability to "steer" your life. To make the most affordable choice. Or we all decided for him and decide? If he plays our game? Is there something the child can feel "leading"?

What the children do — a form of autoaggression. For example, scarring. The need for self-punishment. If the child has a sense of guilt, he will find a way to punish myself. If it inhibits natural anger if he is angry at himself for not justify their own or others expectations, if he blames himself for the condition of the parents, he is looking for ways of self-flagellation from chrisanne nail, obtaining twos, to scarring and other things.

Can you and the child reside aggression? With this better understanding of professionals to still find the cause of the fault and look for ways of transformation. Pseudopressure games: bowling, pillow fights, and sometimes help laser tag, Boxing, and computer shooters... Sometimes to cope with her feelings and to organize them, help comics. When a teenager he draws them, not just looks. Photography classes safe exit from an introspective state of adolescents in the world.

In the life of every person, regardless of age, should be manifested, harmonized 4 themes. Contacts — the body-the realization of creativity. If all these issues have "filled", manifest, harmonious, then we are happy. Contacts is harmonious communication, the ability to say We belong to a group and experience the integrity and value of your Ya

Body — health, contact with the body, the feeling that the body like.

Implementation in school age is studying. But it is important that this area is not were only study. It's about contact with his capacity and capability to implement it.

Creativity (can turn into care in fantasies, dreams, dependencies) — this is about the development of creativity.

It is important to get a feel for what area of life our children are not filled? At which they "escape". Each of these areas can become a support to exit the crisis, but can become a dependence. Each of them must be manifested in life. Once again, if a child's life is only school, he wants to "save".

The topic is complicated, but probably the most important — of the joy and Vitality. We can oppose the choice of death is a meaningful joyful LIFE. What filled our own life?

Children are afraid to grow up, looking at our tired enriched with intelligence, but disconnected, joyless anxious face. We are guides in a child's Life? Do we receive pleasure from life? Do we know how to thank? Let yourself a little pleasure?

Children choose death and disease, and when we live for them. When we put them in their life (along with their expectations and nerealizovannoe) when they live for us. This does not mean that we should flirt with the children. A child of a certain age looking for beacons (before will not grow this Light within you). We can become beacons for some period in life. To a child, going to his own swimming, was able to rely on our light.

I deliberately did not list the "symptoms" of teenagers - every parent immediately, as a medical student, reading the medical encyclopedia at your child recognizes .

A few important symptoms that may attract our attention:

  • the appearance of scars (remember that sometimes everyone can cut yourself)
  • talk about life being meaningless (remember that adolescence is a time of existential questions)
  • farewell, packing and completion of cases (this also happens, sometimes they have the need to organize life)
  • after tension, emotional instability, a sense of peace, tranquility and a sense of the decision (it is possible that finally, got a text from a loved one)
  • an unexpected rush of tenderness or the opposite of removal, request to forgive (healthy adolescents pendulum also swinging from irritation to soft)

We just relaxed and kind. LIFE is full and joyful for us and our children. published


Author: Svetlana Roiz


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: m.facebook.com/svetlanaroyz/posts/1261997720500497


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