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Why men cheat: the shocking admission of an anonymous
It is believed that most men are polygamous. Why is it so hard for them to be faithful? The reader of the famous American magazine answered this question with shocking frankness. Website publishes this confession. It may seem shocking to some, because the author is completely sincere. But whether he's right is up to you.
Why am I cheating? Because infidelity sharpens memory. Everything fades into the background when I look at the naked back of a stranger, slightly bending on the sheets in the rays of the evening sun in a country hotel room. This is the most honest choice I can make. I'm alone here. Against all the codes and rules I pretend to obey. Contrary to common sense, background thoughts and wisdom of the years, at this moment I have no regrets. I want to be here. I voted for it, announced it, and I can feel blood running through my veins. I'm alive. I'm equal to myself. That's why men cheat.
It is believed that men cheat because they have this opportunity. It's true, it's easy to change. We leave almost no evidence. The checklist does not require much - to wash here and there, to enlist the sympathy of the woman with whom you sleep, you need to monitor the time and choose the right place of meeting. But by and large, infidelity is very easy to hide. Far more often – far more often than any man can admit – cheating has absolutely no consequences.
But men do not cheat because they can. They cheat because they have to because they need to. It's a man's need. It makes us cheat again and again. Because sex doesn’t have to be predetermined and planned. This is not a story about two people who are meant to meet on a dark night. It's a matter of chance.
If you cheat, you probably know that love for life is a lie, and monogamous love is a deception. If you change, these ideas guide you. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of loving, it doesn’t mean you don’t want what love or even marriage has to offer. Paradox. You live according to your beliefs and don’t fool yourself. But you have to adapt to the common lie.
And you have to follow the rules. Sleeping with those who have the same risks. The phrase “You don’t shit where you eat” makes sense when you have an official affair. You never use the word love, even in the context of making love. You don’t have sex with kids or schizophrenia. Don't brag about your connection to a celebrity. You stay away from your friends' wives. If you have a mistress in another city, you don’t visit just for sex. These rules are the fruits of difficult experience. And more of them. I cheat spontaneously.
At home, I take care of my family responsibilities. Eh.It's like a test, and men need tests. Loyalty is a test that confronts a man with his own instincts, forces him to ignore his capabilities, drowns out any feeling of victory. Marriage takes the average guy away from everything he once knew about himself. And some guys pass that test. They do. And I like listening to their bullshit. All this "I love my wife so much" talk that moral idiots have over a cocktail. I'm not interfering. I'm not touching them. Men don't fight over things like that.
I love my wife too, but that doesn’t concern anyone. And as a rule, this nonsense is carried by people who look on the way home to a strip club, watch porn in their offices and periodically visit dating sites, changing the quota allocated to themselves. I don't do anything like that. My home life is clean. I'm better focused than they are. I'm better suited to what's around me - my family, my wife, my job. In a way, that’s because I’m not afraid to cheat.
You learn a lot when you cheat. You laugh a lot. Sometimes you open up more with a woman you spent 45 minutes with than you do with someone you spent 45 years with. You do not have to change, you are free to choose. It's exciting. Because more than anything, betrayal is when the body asserts its superiority over the soul, the triumph of genetic need, the victory of the desired over the obligatory.
That doesn't mean cheating is a good thing. Or that I'm promoting it. I don't care how you live. I'm just explaining why men cheat. This is the mathematics of their reproductive system. It's a byproduct of longer life, more exhausting work, higher overloads. It is the consequence of an instinctive refusal to sacrifice one’s own needs in the name of an imperfect and outdated apparatus of marriage.
via www.psychologies.ru/self-knowledge/behavior/pochemu-mujchinyi-izmenyayut-priznanie-anonima/
Why am I cheating? Because infidelity sharpens memory. Everything fades into the background when I look at the naked back of a stranger, slightly bending on the sheets in the rays of the evening sun in a country hotel room. This is the most honest choice I can make. I'm alone here. Against all the codes and rules I pretend to obey. Contrary to common sense, background thoughts and wisdom of the years, at this moment I have no regrets. I want to be here. I voted for it, announced it, and I can feel blood running through my veins. I'm alive. I'm equal to myself. That's why men cheat.
It is believed that men cheat because they have this opportunity. It's true, it's easy to change. We leave almost no evidence. The checklist does not require much - to wash here and there, to enlist the sympathy of the woman with whom you sleep, you need to monitor the time and choose the right place of meeting. But by and large, infidelity is very easy to hide. Far more often – far more often than any man can admit – cheating has absolutely no consequences.
But men do not cheat because they can. They cheat because they have to because they need to. It's a man's need. It makes us cheat again and again. Because sex doesn’t have to be predetermined and planned. This is not a story about two people who are meant to meet on a dark night. It's a matter of chance.
If you cheat, you probably know that love for life is a lie, and monogamous love is a deception. If you change, these ideas guide you. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of loving, it doesn’t mean you don’t want what love or even marriage has to offer. Paradox. You live according to your beliefs and don’t fool yourself. But you have to adapt to the common lie.
And you have to follow the rules. Sleeping with those who have the same risks. The phrase “You don’t shit where you eat” makes sense when you have an official affair. You never use the word love, even in the context of making love. You don’t have sex with kids or schizophrenia. Don't brag about your connection to a celebrity. You stay away from your friends' wives. If you have a mistress in another city, you don’t visit just for sex. These rules are the fruits of difficult experience. And more of them. I cheat spontaneously.
At home, I take care of my family responsibilities. Eh.It's like a test, and men need tests. Loyalty is a test that confronts a man with his own instincts, forces him to ignore his capabilities, drowns out any feeling of victory. Marriage takes the average guy away from everything he once knew about himself. And some guys pass that test. They do. And I like listening to their bullshit. All this "I love my wife so much" talk that moral idiots have over a cocktail. I'm not interfering. I'm not touching them. Men don't fight over things like that.
I love my wife too, but that doesn’t concern anyone. And as a rule, this nonsense is carried by people who look on the way home to a strip club, watch porn in their offices and periodically visit dating sites, changing the quota allocated to themselves. I don't do anything like that. My home life is clean. I'm better focused than they are. I'm better suited to what's around me - my family, my wife, my job. In a way, that’s because I’m not afraid to cheat.
You learn a lot when you cheat. You laugh a lot. Sometimes you open up more with a woman you spent 45 minutes with than you do with someone you spent 45 years with. You do not have to change, you are free to choose. It's exciting. Because more than anything, betrayal is when the body asserts its superiority over the soul, the triumph of genetic need, the victory of the desired over the obligatory.
That doesn't mean cheating is a good thing. Or that I'm promoting it. I don't care how you live. I'm just explaining why men cheat. This is the mathematics of their reproductive system. It's a byproduct of longer life, more exhausting work, higher overloads. It is the consequence of an instinctive refusal to sacrifice one’s own needs in the name of an imperfect and outdated apparatus of marriage.
via www.psychologies.ru/self-knowledge/behavior/pochemu-mujchinyi-izmenyayut-priznanie-anonima/
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