How to change the signs of the zodiac

And once familiar stated. If you think "And mine is not a" fact prifotoshop to the text of his picture, print, hang at the head and sweetly sigh before going to bed, whispering in a comfortable shoulder: "You is not so».

He sleepily replied: "Yeah, kaneshno" and descend on your bed the star of grace. And the rest - suffer!

Capricorn

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Capricorns are changing innocent. Not in the sense - sighing and a children's petting. But in the sense of: "Well, Cho-so?". And the eyes of an innocent clap clap. That woman, I love her, that's a heifer, I want it. Everyone should be happy. Especially considering the fact that Capricorn usually not palyatsya. If priperetsya Capricorn irrefutable evidence against the wall, Capricorn otmazyvatsya will not. He shrug his shoulders, look at you in amazement surgeon discovered the gold of the Incas in the appendix, and says, "You know, I would have eaten." And you're going to fry kartofan, torn between memories of finding others panties in his pocket and setting "is not justified, then, is not to blame».

Aquarius

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Aquarius changes emotionally. So that all sides are flying splinters, drooling and krovischa. Aquarius is very uncomfortable to hide, so he instinctively wants to know everything about everything, and this nightmare has somehow ended by itself. Generally, Aquarius - awful unhappy man. On his betrayal pushes craving for diversity and the search for something unusual. But time after time, it appears that all the women in shorts the same. As Aquarians live to old age in a world that is constantly inflict such blows to the back, completely incomprehensible.

Fish

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Fish change creatively. Directing rich imagination to conceal their own horizontal feats Fish otmazatsya capable in any situation. That is, generally any. Suppose you came home and found her in bed naked woman. Treason? But how could you think! This is my cousin, who came on foot from Nyagan, where she was beaten by her husband, she was wildly cold, so icy wet clothes removed and heated under a blanket. She now continues to make me oral sex? Yes, shame on you! I just gave her antibiotic pills, and we will push through because of the stress she violated swallowing reflex. It looks wildly only in printed form. And when it says Fish, it sounds more than convincing.

Aries

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Aries changes severely. If you catch him, he will not otmazyvatsya, here's another. He sits down next to dreamily rolled her eyes and say, "You're a grown girl, you have to understand, you should have seen her boobs ...". In your desperate babbling "What tits, as you say, how can you, I, too, boobs, among other things" - he takes the phone to find the right picture of boobs, stretch and say, well, look at itself. Then gently take you by the hand and set the teeth on edge will read a lecture on polygamy men and tell him that you are, by the way, is also very expensive.

Taurus

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Taurus rarely changes, so is considered to be the most reliable partner of all the signs of the zodiac. There is only one small (well, most) problem - if Taurus changed, then he has fallen in love for real. And if the rest of the signs still somehow can be divided - I sleep here, and then my family, Taurus must necessarily marry his secretary, since he defiled her. And no psycho "how to save the family" will not help. The chain does not help too - will spread the wall and escape. Therefore, it is desirable to castrate the bulls on the morning after the registry office - they are without primary sexual characteristics other than their husbands.

Twins

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Twins change in pig. No, to go to Tahiti, to sleep with native and die from syphilis. Where exactly. Gemini choosing sexual partners exclusively from the close circle of friends. So to sit for the New Year table and understand - oh, I'm all fucked here, how funny. However, the Twins have another hypostasis. If you are lucky, then your twin does not change you at all - it is enough fantasy. That is, when you're sitting at a New Year's table, he now someone mentally fucked. Well, yes, "lucky" - it's always a very relative term.

Cancer

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Cancer changes evident. That is, you do not even need to be in his candid phone SMS. Once Cancer sigh addictive ballad about the imperfection of the world, how hard to build relationships with those you love, and that's how interesting happens - yesterday the man was a stranger to you, but today - no dearer - down the drain. "Rodney does not have" - ​​it's not about you. Generally, Cancer cheating is not easy, and he goes at it reluctantly. And if there is, then the problem is not that he somewhere itching, the problem is that he needs his only (with capital letters). And while this decapod crustacean of all women with their claws pereschupaet not, it will not stop.

Leo

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Leo suddenly changes infrequently. From Leo because what are you waiting? What did he lead his three female equivalent, knock them in pride and will lie in the shade of a baobab tree, until they pritaschat him fresh liver wildebeest. But in fact, Leo does not like to spend extra calories on wiping the tears of others, so it is enough knowledge that here this and that this willing to surrender at any time. In the meantime, do not give, Leo no moral obligation to wipe them snot. In general, if your lazy lion, it may have to kill antelopes. Well, please.

Virgo

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Virgo changes as Bond. James Bond. If you started a romance with a married virgin, your visits will become a city-adventure, full of mysteries. You will quickly learn to respond to "Anton, mechanic, service station," and in your wisdom teeth will lay a cyanide capsule in case of a call wife. But do not worry, it does not call: Bond knows his stuff. Virgo resourceful as Maslyakov, convincing as Stechkin automatic pistol and cautious as a virologist working with genetically modified samples Ebola. The only chance to find out what changes you Virgo, is the phrase: "I love the other, let's divorce».

Scales

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Libra change masterly. They can live for years on two families, not particularly trying to hide, but still not palyatsya. Because they have the rare ability to arrange everything so that everyone was happy and did not ask questions. In addition, the scales are very serious marital obligations themselves rarely initiate divorce. In the end, what the movements in government, if everything is very cute and comfortable? So here it is important to decide: do you need a faithful husband or a husband, as such? If the latter, then let yourself entertained, you still will not go away. If pripechet - you can beat him on the mop handle and unburden himself.

Scorpio

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Scorpio does not change. No, seriously. Of course, people are a little familiar with zoology, nothing good from the Scorpion, by definition, do not wait. And for good reason. It mileyshee arthropod in the class of arachnids to love and marriage very seriously. And change the favorite for Scorpio nonsense. But the fact that Scorpio Dog (forget about zoology, well it), and can be difficult to fall in love twelve times a year - so this will agree, is another story.

Sagittarius

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Sagittarius changes excitedly. Sagittarius in the ass like a truck, a large sign: "Stop and turns NO". If you get the opportunity to plunge into adultery, Sagittarius will certainly plunge, so much so that body fluids splash walls, ceiling, neighbors and the central area of ​​the city. Learn about the change of Sagittarius is quite simple, and, by mutual friends. And - sometimes - before treason has occurred. Because Sagittarius will not stay and talk to a friend who is in what position he is going to debit the following weekend. Rolling pin his baby, a rolling pin.

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