3 unexpectedly funny ways to survive a divorce

Even if Jolie pitt divorce, then certainly mere mortals God himself commanded. Mortals household occasions for disagreement much more than a couple of stars. On the other hand, when stars get divorced, they do a PR. When they part ordinary people, they even consoled there is nothing...

I once parted with the civil husband. That in itself is hard, and then the husband was a good man. So all friends, when they learned about our break-up, immediately do a special sympathetic face and began to give advice. Sign up for yoga! Get Boxing! Learn how to make soap with fancy shape! But I did not help Boxing, yoga, and soap. And helped the three things that I'd previously guessed.




 

1.Iron

The whole week I wore to work iron. Going to the office, put on makeup, dressed as a man. Then stacked the iron in a backpack and fled to the subway. On the second day started to wrap it in a towel, because the iron was hard, even through the coat.

And it was so.

After the break I started to have obsessive-compulsive neurosis. It's such a problem, when I want many times to repeat the same actions. Someone washes his hands of the clock, someone checks the stove all day. Personally, I ran on the iron. I was afraid he was on fire! In my fantasy, he shone this way and that like a porn star. The fire broke out on the soles, spread on the Ironing Board, and a second burned my tiny apartment.

It was especially scary to leave the house. At home I wore iron with me, so I can see what he's doing. I drink coffee — and he's in the kitchen; I lay with a book on the couch and he next. But on the street I couldn't control it! Nothing prevented him to slip off the windowsill, to ride on the floor and accidentally stuck a fork in a socket...

First I came up with a stroke of genius. Was recorded on video, farewell to the iron. Brought the camera closer and said, "Monday, nine o'clock. Iron Basil tucked away in the closet and can't light up anywhere". And then it turned out that it's not working! Still restless somehow. And then I mourn-mourn. Thought and thought. Put Basil in a backpack and flew to work.

There are events about which it is impossible to understand why you need it. Every day we with iron late in the office, and I asked why? And without that difficult time, and then there's Basil. Not too much for one person? So I ran Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Jump over puddles and scary was sorry. A week later, noticed that running became harder: during the marathon, suddenly began to fall down his pants...

There must be a digression. The last few years, I'm trying to lose weight. I'm losing weight for Breakfast, for lunch, for dinner, the holidays and the New year. Over the years, I have not any easier for one kilogram. For the week from Basil I threw three. Three! When I stood on the scales, I was ready to embrace the Bob, and swear him eternal love. I think I even kissed him on the cord.

The next day the feelings were gone, I gave iron friend Vick. But the sense of "knowingly" remained. This is an important feeling, it can withstand almost anything. Because if there is meaning even to wear iron to work, then he must be in other events. For example, in an ugly divorce.

And you just need to wait until it becomes visible. Sense.

2.Shoes.

I once sat in a cafe to the strange woman. And the woman started screaming at me that I was leaving! And I began to shout to her that this is a common area! And she made a snide voice and said that's why I came here for lunch to sit with a strange woman! I decided to reply her that if you like to eat alone, then buy your own café! And has even opened his mouth for a sarcastic lines! ... Wept.

It began with the fact that I rubbed the new shoes. I bought them for all the money because it was sad, they had to comfort me. And they rubbed! That is not simply expectations, but also bitten to the heart.Because of them I went to this cafe. I don't like it, I always have lunch in the other. But far more to him toddle-toddle shoes... And it burns!

In short, we went. Have dobromila somehow, standing angry. And they all the tables are occupied! Only this aunt was sitting alone. So I to her and sat down. Frankly, not a great love... And she barks!

In any strange situation, I act in two ways: starting to run in circles or cry. After some time rest, of course, I think, solve the problem. But first so. And here's a woman screaming, the shoes RUB, and I sit in front and roar. It is to such was clearly not ready.

"Hey," he says. Hey, why are you? Come on. You'll excuse me, work problems, my husband and I recently divorced. I'm usually on the people is not disrupted.

I like howl in her response:

— Muuuuum... And I tooie... And working... And still couuple!!!

Took off one Shoe and leg in the aisle exhibit. And she suddenly takes off her shows and also! And we have almost the same corn... As in the sitcom some stupid!

The next hour we sat laughing that this God brought us here such losers. More than anything it is impossible to explain! Two completely strangers person. With exactly the same problems. In the same place. At the same time. If not for the shoes, I would in this cafe is not logged!

We laughed, exchanged numbers, Facebook each other added. I actually thought that this will end. Interesting to know, well enough. There is good people in the world? But in the evening we exchanged emails. And then in the morning. And another, and another...

Now this aunt is one of my two best friends.

 

3.Kitty.

Once I was very sad, I went to my mom. Mom lives in Togliatti — a city which even in the center similar to southern Butovo. I was there three years has not been, usually she goes to me. And then the divorce, sad, and even tickets to Moscow was not.

Well, arrived. Went for a walk in the Park. And there fed the bun street kitten. And he took and attached — began to run around us in circles and meow struggling. In my opinion, the kitten was miserable as an orphan. And my mother's arrogant, like a jerk. And even unsympathetic. Skinny, mangy — no this is not needed. And then it hit me: we need to take him home!






There are days when it's tempting to cause good for others. I clung to mommy and cried that without us, the cat will die. He looks so scary! Really, who cares? "Without us" meant without her, because not to drag the animal a thousand miles? It is clear that he will live at mom's. And she was very against it, really. Was angry that I did go, having made good and then to nurse her someone else's cat. But I broke it. I whined, chided, and appealed to conscience. Literally beg Kote as a child. In short, we stuck it in the bag and carried it to him.

... All of my conversations with mommy now end like this:

— Can't talk. We Kuzey jump over the pole!

— Call back later. I'm in the store to buy Kuze toys!

— Come tomorrow, okay? Kuzma asleep, I'm afraid to Wake him up.

Kuzya is a cat. He grew up, got fat and ate all of our chairs. Mom sends me so many pictures of him, like he's running instagram. And this cat sleeps! And he's jumping! But he caught a fly leg!

Today I saw him on Skype. Hate to say this but mom was right. It is not an orphan. This is arrogant fat bastard!

 

These three stories are completely unrelated.

It's just that they happened at a time when it seemed that happiness was canceled, life is over and it will be bad always. It was a really bad period. And yet, if he had not, then mom wouldn't have had a cat. I would not thin. Would not have met my best friend.

And I realized that you can survive anything.

Author: Natalia Unintentional

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: psy.passion.ru/tri-veselykh-sposoba-perezhit-razvod-159492.htm

Tags

See also

New and interesting