Family happiness— how to improve your personal life
"Happy couple!" says French psychologist and sexologist Yvonne Daller. And if they are, why not take advantage of their positive experience.
Hardly anyone of your friends who happily live in marriage, will be able to tell you how they do it. As usual, the only reason someone easily overcomes crises and solves problems, while others barely make it to the end of the honeymoon period.
The manual"How to keep love and understanding in the pair"(publishing house"Eksmo") contains a series of professional exercises that help to form a certain behavior. So behave people who have to complain about their personal lives.
"A pair of normal and a pair of lucky"
Our main misconception is that we think that happy couples have no problems."The happy couple are happy, in spite of quarrels and crises, and not because they never fight or never encounter fleeting difficulties".
Another mistake is to assume that all mismatches in the views worth considering and clarify the relationship. To estimate how good things in your pair, look at the list of conflicts that have no solution. If most of the list is characteristic of your relationship, you should slow down.
1. Budget management.Differences on financial issues — a serious reason to quarrel and it does not depend on your material wealth.
2. The agreement on the basic principles of parenting.It is best if each will communicate with the children in his manner. Your child can easily understand that mommy and daddy have different rules, than to get hit when parents are unable to form a common system.
3. Relationship with relatives on both sides or with friends every.Can't choose your family.
4. Equal distribution of household responsibilities.If there is no agreement, it is easier for everyone to do what is easier for him. Alas, to impose on the husband what he hates, will only for a while.
5. The invasion of professional issues in marital and family life.Leave work at work.
6. Sensual and sexual life.This question is best determined in the beginning.
Anyway, even if you quarrel for all the above reasons, it is important not to let that affect your feelings. In this case, it is possible to keep the family together for years to come.
"Your level of satisfaction"
Counseling couple, whose relationship has stalled, Yvonne came to the conclusion that the main enemy of matrimonial happiness is banal selfishness. It is strange that when we marry, we forget that we do this in order to be "happy together". After all, to meet their own personal needs, enough himself.
"Happy couples partners get what they want in marriage, as they give something that the other wants".
So what do those who are happily married? The author identifies 10 characteristics of the lucky ones. Here are some of them:
The happy couple prefer to be happy rather than right When we fight, we insist on our own interests, but always comes the moment when to give up or to agree with the point of view of the partner is easier and better than continue to sulk and be offended.
Make more compliments, than reproach
Many faults can never be ignored. But we don't pass any detail. But with praise and gratitude, things are much worse.
Going to be influenced by each other
The struggle for independence sometimes takes on absurd dimensions. But to be connected and rely on the support of a loved one is absolutely fine.
Do not doubt the love or the sincerity of another
To suspect or blame — simple, and the arguments are always there. The happy couple soon will find an excuse to each other than will be to seek out excuses.
Everyone takes responsibility for their emotional responses
Fire up and stall out any person, but it is one thing to explain his behavior of the personality traits, and more — to blame their own failures of another person.
Faithful to each other
To glue the broken Cup for a long time. To understand what can turn a momentary impulse or attraction to someone means to take care of their happiness and General comfort in the pair.
How durable your Union?
Judging by the books and movies, the key to a successful Union – great love. But experience suggests that it is possible to madness to love a person you will never be able to create a happy family. We all want to have beautiful and harmonious Union. But, alas, not all the lovers have become really close, maintaining a sense of years. Answer the questions and check how strong your Union.