10 rules for friendly argument Bashny.Net

To some people the idea seems radical, but we say: there is no need to quarrel with a partner. Never. Insults, reproaches, accusations, threats, cursing – regardless of whether they are uttered in a loud voice or quiet with a sarcastic smirk, ruin relationships, sometimes irrevocably. No one wants to be a monster and does not need monstrous to be treated. On the other hand, no two people, no matter how dedicated to each other they may be, are not agree with each other always and in everything (it would be at least boring). Partners must be able to discuss the differences, have a space for constructive criticism, of expression, of dissent and intense feelings that another may not share, without fear of condemnation and subsequent regrets about the perfect.


To build a healthy relationship it is important to have the skills necessary for "friendly quarrel" – a respectful joint search for workable solutions to conflict. Friendly argument is to study the significant differences that Express our beliefs and interests, without resorting to hurting each other. It allows you to go through the released vapor, not burned, to quarrel, still remaining friends. Some couples in Mature, healthy relationships intuitively understand what friendly fight. However, the most happy couples know the art to work together and support each other in staying in close relationship even when differences scare frustrert and upset them. And most come to the following simple rules. 1. Take konflikte need to be afraid of differences. Conflict is a normal, even cool. Differences between You mean that there are things that You can teach each other. Often conflict shows where possible or necessary personal growth. 2. Discuss the issue, not each droughtresistance argument revolves around a specific issue. No one of the parties goes to the person, not put labels or undermine the reputation of the other party. Task – solve one problem and not create new ones, hurting the feelings of your partner. 3. Listen whitelegg people firmly believe in something, listen to him – at least fairly. Respectful listening means understanding the other's feelings, focusing, and expressing it verbally. Express their point of view to yourself until You will not allow the partner to make sure You understand his strong feelings concerning the subject of dispute. Even if You don't quite understand. 4. Say tihamat who loudly screams will not be heard. Even if Your partner raises his voice, do not scream in response. Decrease the volume level will enable the disputants to focus on the subject of the conflict, not on the response to noise. 5. Curiosity, not samedaycashadvance defending his innocence or innocence by turning the table and attacking only leads to the escalation of the conflict. Instead, request further information details and examples. From the point of view of another person there is usually a base. When You meet them with curiosity, You create space for mutual understanding. 6. Ask concretisee approval, including the words "always" and "never" almost always privett You in a dead end and never are true. If Your partner has a complaint, ask him to move away from General comments to specific examples so You can clearly understand that he or she has in mind. When You have a claim, do everything in your power to give your partner specific examples with which to work. 7. Find the points of deglaciate is always part of the conflict that can be points of agreement. Even if it is very problematic agreement, finding a common framework is an important start for common solutions. 8. Search for variotessar ends when the beginning of a joint activity. Polite request predlojeniya or alternatives – invitation to cooperation. Close attention to the available options shows Your respect, and Your offer alternatives – a willingness to try something new. 9. Make stopcamera assignment can turn the whole situation. Even a slight concession on Your part will create a space for the response of Your partner. A small concession – the way to the great compromise. It does not always mean that You meet at the point of 50:50. It is sometimes 60:40 or even 20:80. The point is not in the account, and in finding solutions that are acceptable to both of You. 10. Pomiritsya elderly neighbor, who have been married for 68 years, told me once that the day of the wedding she and her husband agreed to never go to bed being angry. From the outset, they agreed that their relationship was more important than to win the argument. Sometimes they stayed up late, until we found an acceptable compromise. Sometimes this meant that one of them decided that the issue is not as important to this sleep – and was lost. They both understood the value of their marriage, and when one of them went down, another was offered the world, showing how he valued partner. These people still love each other after 68 years, which, of course, there were many conflicts. Seen know something.

Source: estet-portal.com