Missing mom

Missing" is the mother neumatica, unhelpful, not able to identify the needs of your child and his condition. Why did she become like this?

Woman it is as a result of serious psychological trauma. Deducted fear and failure to support her own emotional solitude of her own cause a woman suppresses all his sensitivity and learn to meet their needs through the creation of internal how would the virtual world, and remains to live in it, losing touch with reality. Every approach to reality brings to life all of the traumatic pain and fear. And not to worry about them again and again, the woman again and again seeking payment in the virtual world. She is alone and suffers from loneliness. In this virtual world everything is clear and predictable, easy to control, it all lives in accordance with my needs, this world is perfect, unlike real.

A child a mother is experiencing the same thing: helplessness, fear, loneliness and pain. Our children are our reflection. He closes in his incomprehensible mother's world. The mother is perceived as a non-living person, the child perceives itself as inanimate, and the fear only increases. A child's fear in this place is the manifestation of the instinct of self-preservation, the will to live. While I feel I live, no feelings — I'm close to death. The children of these mothers are constantly trying estranged mother as if to Wake, to bring to life, demanding different ways attention to themselves through sickness, tantrums, disobedience, tantrums, "mom, quicken! I need you!"... and remain unheard. In particular behavioral complex of a lifeguard that is there has its roots: "I'm going to save my mother, and she will help me find myself."

The main difficulty for both is to identify your need, your need: "I want, I don't know that and suffer greatly without it." And is this difficulty of identification from parent to child, and on into the next generation. The main fear of children and parents — "I don't know what's wrong with me, and no I can't say, nobody can understand me and divide with me my feelings". Inside misty a complex tangle of feelings and needs and weakness and despair to understand it.

Unable to establish an emotional contact with each other, and the children and the parents compensate for this lack of mutual control and manipulation. They are trying to pull with each other your perfect virtual world to finally find peace. But he was not stretched. And then begins the search of the partner on which this world seems possible to pull. But again and again disillusionment, and so as long as any member of the relationship has no aim to make emotional contact with them, identify all that I have inside.

When we learn to understand ourselves, we learn to understand others.

Anna Paulsen

источник:karpachoff.com

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