Selfishness and greed in the relationship

© Hugo Morbelli

This article was more difficult than I thought. Several times she sat down and laid. Something inside resisted and raised the subject with difficulty, as if not wanting to give up some outdated attitudes and beliefs about greed and selfishness. Probably, if you ask the layman to describe these phenomena, most likely the mind will come examples of actions by type: "selfishness is when..." That is the very experience people, as a rule, taken at face value, and attention slips at the events that egoism painted. As I see it, there is neither selfishness nor greed. There are only elements that are like pixels on the monitor create illusory images. And while we do not distinguish between these composite particles, the image appears solid and real. This metaphor of pixels suitable for almost any phenomenon. In this article I will try to put selfishness and greed on the items.

The cloth of greed and selfishness

On the event level of selfish greedy we believe those people who do not want to share their blessings with us. That is, according to this logic, the greedy in our eyes can be absolutely any person who refused to give us their assets – whether it be money, personal time, or any other property.

And here the right question is: under what conditions we sacrifice their blessings to other people? When one person wants or bestow upon another? The answer to this question is so simple, how much and unacceptable to the self-esteem of the street. Now, the benefactor donates his goods under such conditions, when wants to please. That is, if a person wants to look good in our eyes, he will probably capable of so-called generosity towards our person.

In contrast, greedy egoists we consider those people who are not trying to please us. And why are they not trying? Because it is bad? We certainly think so – the most convenient. Maybe it's because we are bad? It is a "double edged sword". The person is not trying to please us when they don't see any reason to. We are not saints, and usually eager to please others, when we feel that it is beneficial for us. That is, wanting to look good in someone's eyes, we somehow expect something to get...

And here comes into play our long-suffering feelings, on one side of which lies an inferiority complex, and on the other a sense of self – importance. No wonder they say that pride is the father of all vices.

We feel someone else's greed when we suffer that we do not love or respect, and only used for our good. We crave the sincere unconditional love to his own person, which by and large can only saints and some mothers in relation to their children. We deceive ourselves with the hope that such love is possible. But in fact, we live in a world of consumer relations, where everyone loves of course not, but for some reason – for the particular quality, characteristics and properties.

We are all corrupt creatures, in their relationships simple and refreshing each other, they can. And when we don't have enough real wealth, we master the art of advertising – positioning of images and illusory qualities. Build itself is not news to anyone that artificial image to earn the love and respect. And this is not so bad. Would be okay if we did it that way deliberately. But at some point we lie like a gas meter so that they begin to believe that really are the most normal good man whose image will be visible to all others. So in discord with him arise neurosis – psychosomatic ailments, poisoning our lives.

We become greedy owners when they want to control our relationships with other people. We try to control other people's feelings when they want to be loved and respected unconditionally – that is, for no reason. Otherwise, we feel a false humiliating deception is a nasty experience, as we really do not like, and erase from your existence, once we stop sponsoring his presence in our lives. But as already mentioned – we are not saints and can't love for nothing!

Even when the so-called "greed" is a stranger, whom we had not seen before, we may be a neurotic reaction because of someone's frugality, we find "disrespectful" towards our person.

In other words, greed and selfishness is a personal fear, what we love, and for some reason. Just subconsciously we feel when we want to make mugs, and as big and pure love to shove the typical selling relationship. And honesty we are often also not quite happy, because in love I want to believe!

Most of all familiarity and friendship ties also revolves around such mutually beneficial neuroses. And if a man from us does not have, our wounded pride can christen him a bastard. But in fact there is nothing bad in someone else's indifference there. Just our person someone seemed uninteresting – maybe the man is tired, he has little time, or his annoying pattern on our shirt. We all have our preferences. This is normal. But this fact seems to be all the more humiliating, the more expectations we have wound around the victim of our needs.

Traumatic fact for pride in the street the body of an adult is that no one owes nothing. And if we thought otherwise, then it is our personal problem.

Motives of greed and selfishness

It turns out that if a person acts honestly, not covering up their true motives noble lie, then he becomes a "bad" greedy and ruthless egoist, who asked not to stand on ceremony with our neuroses.

Sometimes we think we are selfish people who cherish their attention and appreciate personal time. Like, if people can't read our useless spam somewhere "Vkontakte", then he is the cunning ego that instead of having to feel our profound "nonsense", is engaged in some its completely useless for us business.

Often someone else's selfishness we like to explain its need for free free. It's much easier to lure ready benefit the wealthy, rather than to make them yourself. Kind of like if people managed to support themselves, it would be nice to please him, so now he has provided our person, since he is so good at it.

That man turned out to be our debtor, not necessarily him. To pull other people's good, to flatter, grovel, appeal to pity, sense of duty, nobility, superiority, greatness and other attributes of a "good" person. Whatever will make "generous" benefactor to prove that he is not greedy and not selfish.

Egoists we consider "bad" people, which decided to condemn and even to punish. In the novel I detail voiced the idea that each person ultimately does everything only for themselves. Each obeys the law of the carrot and the stick. No matter who is in front of us – a hero, a villain, an office clerk, a loving mother – no one else. We are all Pavlov's dogs" that are subordinate to the two basic reflexes of pain and pleasure. Each of us in this life avoiding pain and just chooses the buzz in some way.

We all wander in a carrot of pleasant sensations. Geniuses, sages, and other advanced users from the typical outsiders are no different – all the same the pursuit of high. The difference between us all is only that each has access to its own unique sources of happiness.

Rude people act rude, tearing the surface impression is not because they are "bad", but because I cannot do otherwise. That's right – rough surface available on their stage the thrill of pulling the levers of their mind.

Far-sighted "wise men" enjoy a life refined with the least quantity of devastating effects, because there are such strings of happiness, pulling which get their unattainable for other high.

No one can otherwise. Everyone obeys the impulses that are able to discern on the periphery of his consciousness. All of us – causing the inevitable personal experience.

There is a kind of global stereotype, which says that the right people should do the right thing. And if you're wrong, greedy and selfish, he must endure the shame, fear and other unpleasant impulses which should induce to mend to fit this global pattern.

In the end, our all-powerful mind pushed around two additional springs: self-esteem and self-flagellation. Following the standards, we respect ourselves by breaking the rules – bite. So global law of carrots and sticks implemented in the social world, enabling us to prove their normality.

All our behavior, all the noble intentions and high aspirations obey the simple pulses "pleasant" and "unpleasant." But we don't want to believe that we are so primitive... So we choose to think, our "right" actions – not the joy of self-assertion and the manifestation of a Holy generosity.

There is neither greed nor selfishness. There is only our ego driven incessant race of self-assertion, always scanning reality in search of love and respect.And there is nothing wrong in social barter where everyone shares what he has. Just, avoid neurotic fears, while carrying out the exchange, it is not necessary to cheat, giving the self-promotion for reality. And then this exchange of "energy" could be called mutual.

Igor Satorin

источник:karpachoff.com

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