To get back together after divorce— 4 ways to get your family back

One of the most unpleasant moments after the divorce is uncertainty. Even if the breakup and after going through a multistep and complex judicial procedures, we can't experience the regret and the desire to restore the former. How this desire is reasonable and whether to come together after a divorce?

To love again the Desire to return to former partner covers all the arguments and above all reinforced by the belief that the breakup was a mistake. Husband after the divorce, expresses feelings not as active as his wife, but it can only strengthen the drama of the moment. This is something that should be checked first. Is the percentage of cases when "slam the door" seems the best solution. It is usually young couples with no experience of problem solving.

There are other examples – when partners are attracted to each other just out of habit, an inability to cope with loneliness, if you want to feel like you still have some support in this world. Such meetings are in order, because the memory of the senses cannot be turned off in an instant. But it hardly attempts to renew the love.

To forgive and forget In understanding forgiveness we often put the meaning of full acceptance of the situation without taking into account the feelings of resentment, frustration and anger that we have experienced. Besides, it is linked to new expectations – once I forgave, then he needs to understand and change. The husband and wife after the divorce, trying to reject the past, although it would be better as it should be overemphasized.

It is a mistake to think that will change an adult or you can change to that do not like their attitude. Reconciliation is possible in cases where you understand what you don't like and why. But also realize what kind of person you are dealing with. Second there is a chance for couples who do not forgive or forget, and draw conclusions about whether it is possible in this real situation to be together and get pleasure from it.

Not living in the past Is that the relationship is long over in fact, but there is a feeling that they are still relevant. In reality, it looks like plans and expectations. You are watching a movie and think, what would your partner walking in the Park and looking for a seat for two seats, etc.

Such fantasies can visit you to several years after the break up, but the focus is still on what's really going on. If you have not already go to the movies, and he doesn't call, self-deception will have to say goodbye.

Completely changed When the family ends up on monotonous conflict and boredom, most likely this speaks to the fact that the partners are caught in a vicious circle. People disagree not because I have no future, but because they want change. To resume such a relationship is possible only at a new stage, but it will have to change yourself.

Often we have fear to let the new into your life claims to what is happening with us now. Partner suffer. Harmful to dwell on the relationship and try to move there all my life.

Andrew Joyce brothers here, psychotherapist, author of popular books on psychology in the book "7 real stories. How to survive a divorce" provides some conditions that the crisis in the family could survive structurally:

1. Awareness of mutual responsibility for relationships.

2. Willingness to be honest.

3. The ability to recognize their weaknesses.

4. The lack of accounts with the partner who did more who are heavier.

5. The ability to understand why the partner does so, but not otherwise.

6. A sincere desire to see him happy.

Compliance with at least half of these conditions allows both to survive and to get out of any family crisis easier and more profitable for both parties.

 

Source: domashniy.ru/