Scientists at the University of Arizona (USA) revealed that at the time of the manifestation of altruism in the first
turn aktiviziruyutsya areas of the brain responsible for feelings of guilt and remorse
Get rid of guilt. Yeah.
The bad news is that the guilt can not get rid of.
I have a feeling that the main brake on progress, guilt and all the consequences from it. No inertia, not failure, not even fear. Although, the fear, I think, takes second place. In this case embodied in the person of Eros, that is love in all its manifestations, is able to overcome fear. Guilt is invincible. Like built-in.
It often happens that emotion is opposed to fault — anger, which in time disables this mechanism. But with the anger we have other problems. In addition, it often leaves behind a feeling of even more guilt. Unconstructive. Of the design, perhaps only the need for awareness and action blocks guilt. Two examples from life:
Every time leaving for work, I hear from my daughters, "mom, don't go!" I guess I'm not alone. Do I feel guilty? Yes. If I stay home? No. I can and I would, but I have the clear knowledge that I need to leave. And it pushes me out of the house, regardless of guilt. Yeah, I try to make it as painless as possible for children, but I do not hand over positions. Probably some time after that I can feel not very good, but the mentality to cope with that stress.
Another example. Sometimes I hear from my patients that I have "such a special sigh" to indicate that the time has come to an end. Funny, I never noticed or barely noticed. The problem is that he is not special and quite sincere. I'm sorry that the time has come to an end, I don't want to finish the meeting. I feel what is happening is important, and I am sad to stop it. In addition, I feel guilty that I need to interrupt the train of thought or story. For so many years and have not learned to feel good in this situation. But. However, I know whatever went on with the meeting — all of us not to discuss. The time boundaries are very important: they protect and the patient and the therapist from asking unnecessary questions. The therapy has rules, and they themselves are part of the process, without these boundaries it will not work. In the end, both sides have plans for what is happening after the meeting. Do I feel guilty? Yes. I am a living man. Does it me a sense of guilt end the meeting? No. Because I understand the need.
I suppose it happens to all of us, but we pay less attention to it. It is clear that we need to leave for work. It is clear that we need to end the conversation. Quite simple and does not cause special difficulties.
Problems arise where it is not obvious. Where it seems that there is a choice. Can go and can not go. Unable to finish, and can continue. Can do but can not. Can eat chocolate, and can leave other. That's where it was us and catch, and frozen solid.
Whether it is possible to grow and develop without feelings of guilt? Seriously, is it possible? There are people that do not know this feeling? Is. They are rare and are called monsters.
Any movement forward is accompanied by a sense of guilt. Probably because when we choose to evolve, and we always choose to develop, we have to prefer their interests to those of others. Say to yourself "I want to, although they could be different", to Say "I need it". You can write a treatise about how the guilt is laid in childhood and society. Yes, "we need to think about others", "there's more over here", "need to act", and the genius of the pitfalls of guilt "we are forever responsible". The fact volumes have been written and volumes more will be written. I do not know, this is more or less clear. I would rather that guilt is innate, immanent in man. The way of the world. Out of a million sperm fertilizes the egg one, and the rest will die. It starts with wine. The act of conceiving simultaneously an act of murder. Being born, we're hurting. Continuing to live and develop, we are the cause of worries and troubles. Choosing to eat this chocolate, we leave someone without it. Not in a world of endless amounts of chocolate. There is no birth without pain. Millions of sperm are doomed to genocide just because you're born. Any choice — the murder of all the other alternatives. In General, any forward movement of the aggressive act. So the guilt is always with us hand in hand. It's a life choice. If the sperm was able to reflect, we'd never been born. More sad alternative is to be associated the fault at hand and foot and not daring to move. Is death. What is it?
When we feel we have no choice, and there is a need, we cope with the guilt. Sometimes we even manage not to feel it. When the inner senses there is a choice and it is for us — the wine here appears before us in full growth and often is unable to cope with it. That is, when the desire or need to grow the inner need, when we know that we have a sense of guilt is weakened at least partially. Or not diminished, but we still do. The problem is that in all that relates to our needs — we are not sure what you have. And perhaps most importantly. We'll figure it out, endured, isvarname or something. Moreover, we will do an interesting thing: we care about the needs of others and wait and demand that they, in turn, took care of our own. That's where the most fertile ground for conflict. To seal the plane we put on the mask on yourself and then on the neighbor. On the contrary: we will put it on the neighbor and will choke in the expectation that he wears a mask on us. Sounds strange, but this is what we regularly do.
In nature, balance is needed, any distortion in danger of crashing. The human psyche is, apparently, a balance is needed not less. The balance between our needs and the needs of others and their own, often very contradictory. Interaction with matter of a constant dialogue, trying to divided fairly limited resource, because resource is always limited. It is impossible to get rid of guilt. But it is possible to maintain the balance of the system, each time consciously choosing between his and others ' or different. This helps the ability to ask yourself questions.
While writing I realized that the topic is much broader and it is impossible in one post to cover all aspects and even half. Because there is a direct relationship between being an adult and feeling guilty. There is blame for the destructive impulses which also have nowhere to go. And there... But separately. published
Author: Anna Yasovskaya