Where to find yourself?

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"In my life there is nothing interesting, I have no Hobbies... Work-home-work, no Hobbies... How to find the interest, or the interest to do strong enough to start to do something? And somehow all slowly..."... Or here's another similar question, also often hear: "How to find yourself? Can't decide what I want, although constantly think about that".

I think I know the answer – or rather, the direction where you want to go to this to find the answer... And this direction is not inward. In my opinion, it is a hopeless business to seek answers to questions like "how to find yourself", "find some Hobbies" or "how to find the energy" — within himself. There's nothing there. Our "I" is empty, and therefore, the question addressed to himself, and returns a reflected echo.

In the body and in the psyche there are no internal sources of energy. Weakened by the hunger of people will never in itself will not be source of calories and nutrients... Inside of us there are no answers. There is no original work, there is no "purpose", which was built by someone before our birth.Itself can be detected only in interaction with the outside world. For me, the right question is not "how to find yourself", and "what activities to discover your interest?". The answers are in there. In this sense, our "I" is empty, there are no answers.In our "I" is only the need.

Need is our need, a sense of scarcity in order to feel good. Detection your needs – it's just obnaruzhennoe emptiness that wants to fill. Three basic needs: security ("part schizoid" personality) in acceptance of the other ("neurotic part") and recognition ("narcissistic part"). It's all need.

Now – where nahodjatsja who are able the three basic needs to satisfy? In us or in the outside world? Who will be fed by the recognition from himself, and more – anyone? True security – is not alone, and trusting contact with others... the Person who is constantly immersed in himself, turns away from the outside world in "contemplation", is immersed in a state of poverty, constantly feeling.Clear and checkout their need is important, but what would happen if hungry constantly feels its hunger, and refuses to open his eyes to look around the food? And in this condition a lot of people.

So, the answer to the question "where to take the interests and psychological energy for businesses" is very simple: in the outside world.

Energy for action arises as a result of the tension between need and object that this need can satisfy. The clearer feel hungry, not blunting its surrogates, the more you look for food. You clearly conscious of the void and what can fill it. Communication with other people, music, favorite book, the case — it can be anything you want, but none of these activities are within us. Happiness is just a state when we know that we have everything in order to satisfy all arising in the moment is important... I think many know this rush of energy at the moment of clear understanding: "so that's what I want!" or "so that's what it takes!". There is one small caveat: to this point, to survive, you need to actively look for and interact with the outside world.While you're not looking, not sorted out, you'll never find the object that our body will respond: "Mine!".

So, if we have no pathology and we still sort of alive, it's not that no interest or energy, and where we have this energy is "drained" or hide. Here three variants are possible:

A) something is wrong with needs. They may not realize it, but they are – they are always there. Because otherwise "I want nothing" would have been "I have everything and I'm perfectly happy", but, as a rule, people reporting no needs, feel quite differently.More accurately "I don't know what I want." Another aspect: "I know your needs, but it does need something there to do...".It seems that in this case or occurs carefully mutes its needs (often through a depreciation in the style of "Oh, crap certain desires... something more serious, so my mom finally evaluated"), or it is clearly not what we really want.But the really hungry man will not be disgusted, turn away from vegetables and demand a grouse with pineapple sauce – he would eat, and sharply enjoy the food. Few people so vigorously eats as hungry.

B) something is wrong with objects in the environment. What does it mean? It means that you are in the outside world in an emphasis do not see anything that would satisfy your inner hunger. All women are dumb, men are alcoholics and parasites (and all the normal already attached), leaders, nerds, and to this I will not do anything and will not say anything, because I will as a result feel like an idiot.Or: never going to pettstadt contact with him because it will be, as always... istisnaa reigns depreciation – a man well taught to reject. As a result, in the world (or rather, conscious) there's nothing left that could fill the inner emptiness, and this void is growing more and more.

C) something makes it impossible for the accumulation of energy for the action, if you really need the object clear and definite.That is, the available energy is blocked or midway, or sprayed.Who unfamiliar situation when I want to talk about something very important to another person, but desperately afraid, and as a result over and over again talk about anything but not about what is really important? Another way is to use surrogates. To get acquainted with some girls want, but with those who more affordable.Always something to chew – then hunger did not feel it. Energy and ease, then no-no, but it's safe...

In General, anywhere from the world not to go, all the answers are in there. The meaning of life is impossible to open himself, he reveals when we open the world.Someone with only very little of this openness, and it takes a long time to "digest" and assimilate impressions – these we call "introvert"."Extroverts" — those who have a lot of energy, they absorb a lot of it from the outside world, but are often highly promiscuous, scoring other people's voices and the lives of their "me" who timidly tried to communicate their needs.

There are those who are afraid to go out into the world, he is full of dangers and monsters, and then it is better to be hidden in the shell of his inner Universe, in which, however, the emptiness, silence and apathy. There are those who forgot about his "I" fully merged with the environment: it is not terrible, because it lost the "I" that can experience this fear. Scary when life at some point throws out of his stream... So our services – the mass of surrogates, not giving the opportunity to feel real hunger: TV and Internet as fast food, identical to the natural world.

A life full of energy and interest is the way of the tightrope Walker, balancing between attention to the quiet voice of his "I", speaking about the needs, and open eyes in a noisy world, where you can find something (to be mindful of the world), which sounds in unison with the inner voice. Here and there the energy as the reaction of the recognition: "This is mine!". published

Author: Ilya Latypov

Source: ilyalatypov.ru/o-psyhoterapii/gde-iskat-sebya#more-262


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