Why that company did not accept our offer?
Why should I hire you and not someone else?
Where, in your opinion, will lead us in this relationship?
Where are the children?
QUESTIONS... Sometimes they are completely harmless. And sometimes cause our hearts to race and ourselves — again.
TO BE HUMAN MEANS TO BE ABLE TO IMPROVISE. It is a skill which involves the ability to make timely observations and to answer difficult and unexpected questions.
People ask such questions to obtain information, but often their issues are other reasons. Sometimes they want to know about your attitude to a particular subject and see how calmly and confidently you look at it.
The ability to answer complex questions based on two principles:
you must have sufficient knowledge, giving the desired information; should be able to communicate this information confidently and calmly. General plan: always give yourself more vremenima someone asks us a difficult question we try to answer it immediately. We are afraid that even a brief moment of silence will be regarded as an oscillation or as a desire not to Dodge the question.
Even a few extra nanoseconds will allow your brain to process more information, and then to formulate the correct slovakicum you impulsively say, is unlikely to be the best, and later, when you ponder to think about it, you probably will regret said hastily. So the most useful thing you can do to improve the quality of answers to difficult questions — give yourself more time to think about these answers.
Even a few extra nanoseconds will allow your brain to process more information, and then formulate the right words.
Allowing yourself to do a tiny pause, we're gathering thoughts. Only it is not necessary to fill in these pauses of various "uh-uh or M-mm...". Due to them you will look insecure. And, you can repeat the question before answering, which will also give extra seconds.
There are other methods to gain time for reflection. The most effective of them as clear as possible the question (and in fact — to a new question) before giving an answer. There are several ways to make your opponent provide you with the best and not too complicated version of the question:Ask them to repeat the question
People often want to rephrase your question because they don't like the way it was worded. So give them the opportunity to do so. Perhaps their "take two" will be shorter and clearer.
"Could you repeat the question? I want to make sure I really understood all right."Ask for clarification
If the question is too vague, answer it by another question, which should clarify and define what you are trying to achieve the opponent.
"Now there are several types of insurance. Which one really interests you"?
"Motivation is a broad concept. Do you need advice on any particular aspect of it"?
And especially effective to elaborate the question, putting the questioner in front of a choice:
"Are you concerned about the number of sales in 2012 or in 2014"?Ask for a definition,
Even when people use the same words they can mean by them different things. Not to talk about things, ask the opponent to the wording of the key concepts of his question:
"Before I answer, could you say what you mean by "sloppy"?
"I am ready to discuss this with you, but before we start, tell me what you mean the phrase "official Dating"?Define a goal for yourself
One of the ways to gain greater control over the interaction is to reformulate the question so that it became part of your response:
"Why do you think that your appeal to that company was a failure? If by failure you mean nothing good comes out of this venture did not work, I don't think so. Yes, you did not sign the agreement, however, established friendly relations, so now open to future projects."Work inappropriate questions: the art of evasion
Sometimes the questions are quite clear, but inappropriate, and you, for a variety of reasons, do not wish to answer them in full. Then you will have to evade a direct answer.
The evasion of direct answers is very questionable reputation because it is associated with insincerity and manipulation. But sometimes you really can't give someone a direct answer as this information is confidential, involves a very sensitive topic or simply not designed for this audience. Here are the methods that are recommended to successfully give evasive answers.Answer only one part of the question
If the question is complex and there are a few aspects that you do not wish to address, and there is at least one element that is not causing problems, it is recommended to focus on it:
— I heard that soon there will be a new series of layoffs. Also heard that addresses the issue of reducing salaries. And I noticed that from the REC room disappeared free soda. This is due to the decrease in profit of the company?
— I can assure you that there are no layoffs in the next six months will not. Don't know what you heard but the company is strong enough and our income for the quarter was higher than expected.
— How do you like the new job? How much are they paying you?
— There is really good. It's amazing how may different office culture. Every Friday we finish work early and drink beer and play softball. And you played a lot this spring?
(If you finish answering another question, it will help to move the conversation from the question that you do not want to answer).Re-Orient the question
If there is some part that you don't want to talk, focus on that aspect of the discussed problem is not. It can be done, if you take one phrase from the question (which is not usually the main topic of this question), and to attract maximum attention.
— Do they consider my candidacy for this position? I feel that I have demonstrated sufficient self-confidence during my interview.
Exactly. Frank said that it was very impressed by your confidence and your level of training.
(Here you emphasize the aspect associated with confidence, and leave the question about the job.)
— What do you think, why am I not moving forward? I feel stuck in life, that my boss just doesn't appreciate me. Not to sound boastful, but I am very smart.
— Yes, you are indeed a smart man. And when you use your mind on purpose, you do succeed. And are there any ways to realize you started doing more consistently? (Instead of having to list the shortcomings of the interlocutor, you concentrate his attention on what he is really clever, thereby positioning your answer in a positive way.)Discuss
Sometimes it seems that people are looking for a specific answer to the question, in reality, they just want their issue discussed. They want to hear different points of view about your idea or just want to know what you also think about it, to understand that their question is something that makes you hard to think about. In most cases these issues best suited response, which contains an attempt to better understand voiced the theme:
— Why is the Council on school education does not seek to reach a large audience, to get feedback from parents and students better?
— We work with people more than you think. We sent messages to 500 families. But the situation is complex: parents of older children don't want what you want. We carefully consider all views and options and try to find ways to compromise.
— Why our relationship doesn't make you happy?
— Why did you decide that I'm unhappy?Build a bridge
With this technique you build a bridge from the question to what do you want to talk. This method is similar to the technique of refocusing issues, but the difference between the content of the question and the topic of your reply here is much more substantial.
If you ever watched politicians, leading debates on television, this method will seem familiar to you. Policy asked about his position on the war, to which he replied: "War, of course, an important issue that needs to be solved. But in reality, I want to talk about the issue of raising taxes, which has been voiced by my opponent".
The answer, built on a "bridge" to get the opponent out. So it is not recommended to use this technique to avoid the big questions.Use the "funnel"
technique bridge, you can leave questions on the main theme. But sometimes you just need to narrow the field of discussion, and to encourage the opponent to ask follow-up questions and continue to discuss any one aspect. The use of a "funnel" is to recognize some big problem, and then direct the audience's attention to that part of the problem, where you want to focus on.
— What experience makes you a good candidate for this position?
— I have experience in hospitality, experience in customer service, but the best experience that best fits what you're looking for is the five years that I have worked in management of social media, and I worked for one of your competitors.
— You have planned how you will complete this project?
— Yes, and the most important step is to provide for the financing of it. As you can see in this graph, half of the money we already got.Sometimes directness is the best option: the art of shoot from the hip
Sometimes the best way to answer a difficult question is to give a completely straight answer. Such candor can stun and disarm an opponent. Some of you may now think: "it is Necessary to always shoot on the move, from the hip. A real man does not shy away from direct answers"!
It certainly sounds nice, but does not always work. Daily we depart from the most different answers. And when someone asks "How are you?" — we answer: "Well, yesterday I had a little spat with the wife, besides, my truck needs new brakes." All we will refocus the issues, and often only partially answer precisely those questions that we asked.
In the art of improvisation is most important to know how and what to say in circumstances that vary widely.published