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Love inspires and inspires, but relationships require work. Often we get tired of them corny and that I have to take. How not to waste feeling in the endless attempts to change and re-form?
Handbook on the psychology of relationships give numerous tips on what to do, how to treat everything, what to expect from men and how to please them. Except that it in itself is a challenge, there is a feeling that the relationship is a strain, analysis and hard efforts. Such a perspective easily frightened, it is better to alone no commitments than the hard family labor.
Fear to love and tie the knot now pursues not only men always prefer freedom. Exhale and relax want and women, though the issue of personal life that does not change. Is it possible, being in a relationship, to be myself, to give love and to return without fuss? We offer to take 10 steps, in which love will be easier and more fun.
1. Stop trying to "pretend"This simple rule will relieve tension in communication, open partners are to each other in unexpected places and might allow you to get to know herself.
Often we say one thing and think another, do not have the full truth, just portray any other emotions. It's weird, especially if no one asks, and creates barriers that are difficult to overcome.
2. Not to look around playparks that we can forgive completely immoral things and aware of detail. Partner may look at the same thing completely differently.
It would be correct to admit that you don't like, but do not require a complete change in behavior. Each has its own characteristics, it differs from other people.
3. Not to leave "stones in the soul"If something (a word, action, choice of partner) stuck in the shower and was left with an unpleasant sediment, it is impossible to leave there. Worms of doubt, over time, be turned into a monster, devouring your senses and good relations.
Not everyone can openly ask questions like "And you cheated on me?"but it is more important to understand where its roots in your thoughts. Your it fears or reasons offered by the satellite. Deal and sleep well.
4. Do not overpay for your sebkinase misconduct, behavior not in accordance with the expectations of men, any other blunder is an apology, but nothing more. The guilt is easy to play, but if compensation is not your good will, nobody has the right to take on the role of the judge and to sentence.
If you have to pay too expensive, perhaps with this person you just not the way.
5. Not to step on yourself with This obvious rule of reason is guided not all. Interfere with the complexes, fears and benefits of different plan.
To make concessions, to obey and to please only from sincere motives. If you don't feel moral readiness for these things, maybe you are not yet ready for Union and you need to understand yourself and your goals.
Did not want to quarrel, but the habit away from open conversation as a result will be more devastating. Photo: thinkstockphotos.com
6. To trust my own opinion
Not being self-sufficient and can only be accessed in the codependent relationship, and this is a huge expenditure of energy.
If you like movies in the genre of detectives, and the man they call contempt, let him stay with her and don't let it spoil your own joy.
7. Replace suspected nablyudeniy variant is associated with fantasies, assumptions, and not always pleasant. This is a huge flow of the intellectual potential and mental strength on jealousy, resentment, distrust. Imagine you are writing a novel based on your life, but do not publish this book, but only read from time to time and reliving all of the events.
The second option saves power and gives a more accurate representation of reality. In addition, it is movable. Knowing you seek a proof of the negative, observing — see the facts. Heroes don't have to be negative, their characters can change the course of action.
8. Instead of insistence — Gibralfaro not to be confused with the tendency all the time to adapt the man with the diplomatic approach and desire to maintain their freedom. In the first case, their interests pushes you into the background, in the second, without getting involved in the fight, delineate their territory.
Savings: you don't fill the cones with sharp corners, leave the right to identity himself and the man, remain confident — because shouting and cursing those who do not know of any other ways.
9. Shevelitsya one paradox — the less movement, the more the cost of nerves and stress. Try to stand in one position for a long time or dance at the same time — what we more tired?
The same in love. Stasis creates stress. Move the border, check partner to the liveliness of mind and heart, be free! Do not turn and try something you never did.
10. To say goodbye to all the beaten privilegiato we operate, and hear, read, liked it. And rarely speak its from the heart. Better to honestly say "I am wildly jealous of you sexy blondes" and to be yourself than hard to smile when he dances with another "Barbie", because you know not to make trouble over nothing.
We use imposed without even noticing how it binds our identity, although there are no General rules, and two identical men do not exist.published