How to deal with real grief: advice of the wise old man

Blogger Bobby Popovich found in the Internet history-jamaicano. One user wrote in a Facebook post: "My close friend just died and I don't know what to do." In the comments one user, a man who more than 60 years, explained why we all need to change their attitude to life and death.



"I'm old. This means that I'm still alive, and many people I knew and loved anymore. Did I lose friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, classmates, neighbors and classmates.

Except that I don't have kids, so I can't imagine the pain you experience when you lose a child. But with all the other losses I know, so I want to insert my two cents.

I would like to say that you get used to the death of a loved one. But it's not. I have never worked. I didn't want to.

I never wanted to over time, "it ceased to have value." I don't want a few years just to forget about their loved ones. My mental scars are evidence that I was in love or relationship with that person. And if the scar is deep, so I loved. So be it.

Scars — proof of life! They are a Testament that I can love for real. They are proof that I know how to love, to live fully and to empathize. And the deeper scars in my heart, the more I feel that I am "real".

The scars look terrible only for those who don't.

As for the grief, it comes to you in waves. Imagine that you were shipwrecked. You — right in the middle of the wreckage. The ship sank, but the funnel you, thank God, does not suck. The debris that float around remind you of the beauty and splendor of the ship, but distract you from realizing the main thing: keep you alive.

Now you will float. Obviously, you caught a piece of debris, and it gives you the opportunity to rest.

This can be a physical object: for example: gift of the deceased person or his photograph. And it should help you to survive.

Because around the high 20-foot waves. The sea continued to storm. Sometimes the waves follow one after another, and sometimes you have the opportunity to take a breath. All you can do in this situation is to rely on you tucked the chip and just try to survive.

After some time (maybe it will take weeks, maybe months) the waves will be as high, but to cover you, they will become less frequent. Despite the fact that they will be far away from each other, each of them can continue to destroy you.

But in between you can breathe. You can work with. You never know when life will again remind you of your grief. It can be a song, picture, the intersection, or the smell of coffee... anything... And a wave of sadness covers you again.

But between the waves is life. Somewhere over time, you will see that their height — not 20 meters, as before, and 15. Or 10. They still cover you, but less frequently and not as much.

Some of them you will have to wait. It anniversaries, birthdays or Christmas. You know what these waves are and can prepare yourself for it. You continue to hang on to the wreckage of the ship called "life". You — wet, tired man, who, however, managed to survive. And even enjoy life in between the waves".

Take the example of this man. The waves will never cease to appear in your life. Especially if you really know how to appreciate and love other people. But you have to understand that he must continue to live no matter what.

A new wave will appear. And you have to learn survival. If you're lucky, your heart will be a lot of love and a lot of scars. And you will find many more shipwrecks.

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P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: lifter.com.ua/Mudriy-starik-rasskazal-kak-spravitsya-s-nastoyashchim-gorem-Genialno