<...> And then I left the ship, I went down and cried. I cried. I walked on the pier, constantly turned around, waved so his cap and cried. Guys I, too, waved his cap, shouting and crying. Not because they so much loved me, and because it is clear: so scary when someone leaves and you stay.<...>
Evgeny Grishkovets "As I ate the dog"
"...It's not about you. It's me. I couldn't... it happened... No, you're great. I'm sorry for everything bad I did to you. It was amazing, but..." and so on. You think that you are explained to be understood. But what makes you think that the man you are about to leave, he wants to understand why you're leaving? He wants you to stay. Without explanation. And therefore does not understand them. He doesn't understand them then, you never left, stayed another and another, doing the explanations. But the easiest way to tell the other that you're leaving is to leave.
There is another option: you do not want to leave. You think that you are delayed to finally be explained, and in fact, you are explained to to stay. You think to explain — more humane. But that's not true. In fact, if you leave, more humane to leave. As soon as possible. The only thing that really need to say, "I quit." Any "because" is an invitation to further dialogue, postponing in time your care. If you don't want to leave, but only blackmailing partner possible care with the aim to get some other respect or more love — you are being unfair. Look like game of suicide-katajisto. "I will die, will die!" — he shouts, and then eats not one, but two sleeping pills or cutting yourself a little wreath on the wrist. Running up frightened relatives and begin to love him more, for some time. Then everything returns to normal.
In any case, to leave to explain two incompatible classes. Either you explained again and again, or go away and everything becomes clear without explanation. The rest is only an attempt of self-deception.
It may seem that I have forgotten about those who remained beyond our explanation, but it's not. "I don't understand. Why she (he) leaves me? I don't understand! Let, let out, if I could just understand why why she(he) goes...I understand and I will feel better". A familiar state? In fact, it won't help. More precisely will be, but not from this. Attempts to detain him or her for an explanation — it's just a way to delay the parting. Easier this gets, rather the contrary. You have to continue to be uncomprehending, almost insane — trance for paying their own pain. Anyway, as if you before his death, tried to understand why death is inevitable. In fact, instead of understanding, you just need to accept the inevitable. Bearing in mind that, unlike death, after a breakup, life will certainly be.
Understand it makes sense only one thing: any parting — it's just a pain that you need to survive. And then you will feel better.published
Author: Pauline Gaverdovsky P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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