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Why is there no power to break destructive relationships
Bashny.Net
To leave or to stay?
She has several years is destroying her relationship Suffer: self-esteem, health, relationships with friends and family, collapsing career or business. Every year, month or day the circle narrows, but continues. Life is like hell: he drinks, walks knows where and who knows who accuses her of all the deadly sins, jealousy, humiliates, insults and maybe even beat her. But sometimes, very rarely he can be gentle, affectionate, attentive, give a gift or say the words she wants to hear.
But the idea is to break up heart breaks and causes unbearable pain. It seems, if only he will close the door behind you on the other hand, the life will stop, and never anything good it will not happen. Life without him doesn't exist...
The amazing thing is that this animal fear to be left, deserted, abandoned nothing to man has no. This childhood trauma, often very early. Maybe she spent the first days without mom (for example, while mother operated mastitis, the baby was in the care of her grandmother and father) or she was placed in the care of my grandmother because my mother went out early to work the mother saw corny and she wasn't his daughter.
In addition, woman actually can not live without a partner. This endless passion, emotional swings, frustration and helplessness is understandable and familiar since childhood. In such a relationship is always something going on, a rich series of events creates a feeling of vibrant life. How to live any other way than to change it to unknown. And the unknown is known to frighten even more.
If this story is about you, then this article will help you to make a decision.
To continue the incredible efforts to cling to this relationship or to leave?
In order to understand what the outcome of this story is to the fortuneteller do not need to go. You already have the results of these relations (see beginning of article). Do not rely on a miracle. Accept the fact that nothing will change. It will NOT change our relationship with him will NOT change his attitude towards you won'T change! Tomorrow will be like yesterday, in 10-20-30 years will be like tonight. That's just how long your health will hold? And while you will struggle with a cancerous tumor inside he will lead the same lifestyle as now. By the way, what is he currently doing? Of course, if the meaning of your life as soon as possible to die, keeping these relationships continue. Monument neither in life nor after do not deliver. To stay alive will not work. Likely to become healthy, happy and loved and not just to leave...
So, how to go?
This is not love!
Recognize that your attitude to a man is not called love. In a sea of sufferings, problems and despair, the brief moments of joy are not an argument in defense of your relationship. Crazy attachment to him is a way to reproduce a familiar atmosphere of childhood and to live in the emotional environment.
Guilt!
It helps you find new flaws? Poor thing, how he puts up with you? Ah, of course, without it you'll perish, because no one so you do not need. He is a true hero! And struggling with the weight of guilt, you are all trying to be better, to please, to conform, to fulfill impossible demands. Only happiness, peace and tranquility as there was no and no... You are very sorry for myself, hands down, I think it's pointless. And almost drowned in the depths of despair, rebounding from the bottom with admirable zeal are making new efforts. Stop. Whatever you do, there will always be something wrong and like something is wrong. He just doesn't like you, does nothing.
Self-pity!
Self-pity is one of the most common and habitual patterns of behavior. It allows you to feel special, to demand care and attention, to shift responsibility for their lives, feelings and the health of the partner and the main thing – do nothing!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and lo, you will understand that you have a choice: to leave or to stay.
Make the decision and make a plan of action.
If you made the choice to leave, have to act. To reduce fear and anxiety you must minimize the region of the unknown. Decide what tools will live, where and with whom, who will help protect your rights and assets in a divorce than fill your new life. Step-by-step plan out of troubled relationship will give you strength and confidence.
Do not wait until it will leave you tear the relationship first.
He has more than once you left? Went to another? Threatened divorce? And every time you felt like the earth opened under my feet... Go first. So you will be able to carry away the fragments of their self-esteem and not worry about the trauma of being abandoned.
And of course, get rid of childhood trauma and terror of loneliness.
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
Source: maria-kudryavtseva.ru/%D1%83%D0%B9%D1%82%D0%B8-%D0%BE%D1%82-%D0%BC%D1%83%D0%B6%D1%87%D0%B8%D0%BD%D1%8B/
She has several years is destroying her relationship Suffer: self-esteem, health, relationships with friends and family, collapsing career or business. Every year, month or day the circle narrows, but continues. Life is like hell: he drinks, walks knows where and who knows who accuses her of all the deadly sins, jealousy, humiliates, insults and maybe even beat her. But sometimes, very rarely he can be gentle, affectionate, attentive, give a gift or say the words she wants to hear.
But the idea is to break up heart breaks and causes unbearable pain. It seems, if only he will close the door behind you on the other hand, the life will stop, and never anything good it will not happen. Life without him doesn't exist...
The amazing thing is that this animal fear to be left, deserted, abandoned nothing to man has no. This childhood trauma, often very early. Maybe she spent the first days without mom (for example, while mother operated mastitis, the baby was in the care of her grandmother and father) or she was placed in the care of my grandmother because my mother went out early to work the mother saw corny and she wasn't his daughter.
In addition, woman actually can not live without a partner. This endless passion, emotional swings, frustration and helplessness is understandable and familiar since childhood. In such a relationship is always something going on, a rich series of events creates a feeling of vibrant life. How to live any other way than to change it to unknown. And the unknown is known to frighten even more.
If this story is about you, then this article will help you to make a decision.
To continue the incredible efforts to cling to this relationship or to leave?
In order to understand what the outcome of this story is to the fortuneteller do not need to go. You already have the results of these relations (see beginning of article). Do not rely on a miracle. Accept the fact that nothing will change. It will NOT change our relationship with him will NOT change his attitude towards you won'T change! Tomorrow will be like yesterday, in 10-20-30 years will be like tonight. That's just how long your health will hold? And while you will struggle with a cancerous tumor inside he will lead the same lifestyle as now. By the way, what is he currently doing? Of course, if the meaning of your life as soon as possible to die, keeping these relationships continue. Monument neither in life nor after do not deliver. To stay alive will not work. Likely to become healthy, happy and loved and not just to leave...
So, how to go?
This is not love!
Recognize that your attitude to a man is not called love. In a sea of sufferings, problems and despair, the brief moments of joy are not an argument in defense of your relationship. Crazy attachment to him is a way to reproduce a familiar atmosphere of childhood and to live in the emotional environment.
Guilt!
It helps you find new flaws? Poor thing, how he puts up with you? Ah, of course, without it you'll perish, because no one so you do not need. He is a true hero! And struggling with the weight of guilt, you are all trying to be better, to please, to conform, to fulfill impossible demands. Only happiness, peace and tranquility as there was no and no... You are very sorry for myself, hands down, I think it's pointless. And almost drowned in the depths of despair, rebounding from the bottom with admirable zeal are making new efforts. Stop. Whatever you do, there will always be something wrong and like something is wrong. He just doesn't like you, does nothing.
Self-pity!
Self-pity is one of the most common and habitual patterns of behavior. It allows you to feel special, to demand care and attention, to shift responsibility for their lives, feelings and the health of the partner and the main thing – do nothing!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and lo, you will understand that you have a choice: to leave or to stay.
Make the decision and make a plan of action.
If you made the choice to leave, have to act. To reduce fear and anxiety you must minimize the region of the unknown. Decide what tools will live, where and with whom, who will help protect your rights and assets in a divorce than fill your new life. Step-by-step plan out of troubled relationship will give you strength and confidence.
Do not wait until it will leave you tear the relationship first.
He has more than once you left? Went to another? Threatened divorce? And every time you felt like the earth opened under my feet... Go first. So you will be able to carry away the fragments of their self-esteem and not worry about the trauma of being abandoned.
And of course, get rid of childhood trauma and terror of loneliness.
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
Source: maria-kudryavtseva.ru/%D1%83%D0%B9%D1%82%D0%B8-%D0%BE%D1%82-%D0%BC%D1%83%D0%B6%D1%87%D0%B8%D0%BD%D1%8B/
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