10 thoughts of Stephen Fry about love, depression and the meaning of life

Stephen Fry is an actor, writer, television and radio presenter, documentary filmmaker, civil rights activist, educator, polymath, human orchestra and national treasure of Great Britain.

He was jailed for fraud, abused cocaine, made at least two confirmed suicide attempts, and suffers from bipolar disorder.

Fry knows about the ups and downs of the soul firsthand.





1. The main thing I would like to be sure of is that in our world, kindness is above talent, above energy, concentration, purpose and everything else. The more kindness and cheerfulness in the world, the better the world is. And all great words—virtue, justice, truth—are dwarfs compared to the greatness of kindness.



2. Let’s find out what successful people have in common, look at what they have in common. All people who are unsuccessful are united: they always talk about themselves. “I need to do this, I need this...” – The first two words are usually “I need to.” That is why no one loves them, and therefore they will never get what they want, because of their eternal “I need, I need, me, me, mine.” Be interested in others, use your eyes to look at the world around you and not at yourself, and then you will be built in, become interesting, and people will reach for you. They are drawn to the warmth and charm of those who are genuinely interested in others.



3. Many times I put my hand to my chest to feel the motor of the heart beating under its asthmatic tremors, the lungs rising, the blood circulating. I was amazed at how much power I had. Not magic, but real power. The power to simply live and resist difficulties is enough, but I felt that I also had the power to create, multiply, delight, entertain and change.



4. Once I almost published a book in the genre of useful advice. “Stephen Fry: How to Be Happy: Success is Guaranteed!” People buying it would find that it consists of empty pages, and only the first one says: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you will be happy.. And the rest of the pages are for drawings or writing down interesting ideas—that’s what a book would be, and the truth is. I want to say, “Oh, how simple it is!” But no, actually it's not easy to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's damn hard. Because we always feel sorry for ourselves, after all, the whole book of Genesis is about that.



5. Sometimes it helps me to think about moods and feelings the way we think about the weather. The weather is real; it cannot be changed by simply wishing it to change. If it's dark and it's raining, it's dark and it's raining, and we can't fix it. Darkness and rain can last two weeks in a row. But someday it will be sunny again. It is not in our power to bring this day closer, but the sun will appear, it will come.

The same goes for the mood, I think. It is wrong to think that our feelings are illusory, no, they are real. Depression, anxiety, apathy are as real as the weather, and just as uncontrollable. And it's nobody's fault. But they will pass, they will pass. As we come to terms with the weather, so we have to come to terms with how life sometimes seems. “Today is a nasty day,” we say, and it’s a realistic approach that helps us get something like a mental umbrella. “Hey, hey, it’s raining, it’s not my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it. The sun may come out tomorrow and I won’t miss it.





6. Some people are sure that Their self-fulfillment is hinderedThere are many Asians in England, the existence of the royal family, the intensity of the traffic under their windows, the malignancy of the unions, the power of insensitive employers, the unwillingness of the health services to take their condition seriously, communism, capitalism, atheism, anything, in fact. their own futile and thoughtless inability to pull themselves together.



7. I have a theory. Most of the misfortunes of our stupid and joyous world stem from the fact that we constantly apologize for things for which we should not apologize at all.. But for what is necessary, we do not need to apologize. [...] I should ask forgiveness for treachery, neglect, deceit, cruelty, lack of kindness, vanity and meanness, but not for the motives instilled in me by my genitals, much less for the impulses of the heart. I can regret these impulses, bitterly lament them, and at times curse them, swear them and send them to the damn mother, but not to apologize, provided they do no harm to anyone. A culture that requires people to apologize for things they are not guilty of is a good definition of tyranny, as I understand it.



8. Paradoxically,Self-hatred is one of the main symptoms of clinical narcissism. It is only by telling ourselves and the world how much we hate ourselves that we create the waterfall of praise and admiration we believe we deserve.



9. I’m probably happier now than I was before, and yet I have to admit that I would trade all of myself for being you, the eternally miserable, nervous, wild, perplexed and desperate 16-year-old Stephen. Angry, anxious and awkward, but alive. Because you know how to feel,Feeling is more important than how you feel. The death of the soul is the only unforgivable crime, and if happiness can do anything, it is to mask the death of the soul.



Viktor Frankl: A person always deserves the highest praise

Poor people's nightmare



10. If you think about it, Love has no purpose and that is what makes it so great.. Sex has a purpose, in the sense of relaxation or sometimes reproduction, but love, like any art, is useless. It is the useless things that make life worth living and at the same time full of threats: wine, love, art, beauty. Without them, life is safe, but not worth worrying about. published



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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Source: itinteresting.com/2015/11/28/10-myslej-stivena-fraya-o-lyubvi-depressii-i-smysle-zhizni/