Nature has created us in such a way that for better adapting to the world we have everything you need. There are several basic senses that make up the base set for those events that are inherent in the life process.
Life is risky and we have FEAR
. Feeling which helps us to determine the degree of danger and time to escape. Our other helper is ANGER
. A sense of needed to protect. To support us in this complicated and dangerous world we have the JOY
. And as life is impossible without losses, the experience of them helps us SADNESS
Each of these feelings inside of the body has a complex system functioning
. The Central nervous system produces certain substances in a predetermined order and pace, including in our body, those parts that are necessary for survival.
For example, with the fear, the blood flow to the extremities so we can run away, and when joy released internal opioids, which give us a sense of euphoria. Each sense is attached to their emotions
. OK to laugh when the fun and fear when scared. OK to cry when sad. This is a very simplified diagram, but all of these mechanisms are quite detailed and are available for self-study. I suggest you dwell on SADNESS.AS SADNESS TURNS INTO DEPRESSION.
In fact, life is a sequence of acquisitions-loss-acquisitions, etc. the Circle is broken and life ends. We cope with the fear and let in new life a new day, people, events, things. We are filled with, get used to it, love it, and then confronted with the fact that nothing is eternal. We can lose your phone, you can change your job, move to another town, burn a hole in your dress.
We part with things, places, events. Every night we have to say goodbye to the past in the morning, in the afternoon. In autumn we say goodbye to summer, and marking the birthday, with passing year. And, of course, we have to say goodbye to people. After high school, we say goodbye not only to childhood, but almost all of his classmates. Kids grow up and leave us. Someone leaves from our life, and someone out of this world. So this world is arranged. We always find something and lose something.
Most of the losses we used to, and even do not notice them. But what was valuable for us and close to lose hard.So we can handle this process, nature has created a feeling of sadness. Feeling that help us to survive the loss
. The simplest understanding of grief is mourning, or the mountain.
From the word sorrow, which exactly describes what we feel. We hurt hard and very sad. We've created entire rituals in order to ease the process of grief. The bride first mourned and then celebrated the end of school first is Last call, and then graduation. The funeral of one of the biggest rituals of significance, and the mourning has clear deadlines.The process of grief for the loss has its own stages, each of which is not to be missed. But the main feeling of the entire process, of course, it's sad.
We have to mourn our losses. Tears not only have bactericidal and analgesic effect, as evidenced by the biologists. On a psychological level, tears are balm for a wounded soul. There is a lovely symbol of tears a river that we can swim the most difficult areas in the path of our life. If everything is so perfectly arranged, then what's the problem?
The thing is, man being imperfect. And in order to live a normal life, he needs to constantly strive and improve. Life is like an escalator moving downwards. To climb, you need to move the legs. In other words, we need to be able to grieve. We have to teach parents. And they must support the human world. What happens in practice? Let's start with the family.
DON'T CRY!Every family has its own rules about which feelings can be expressed and which are not.
And if your family was a ban on the expression of sorrow, you had to displace that feeling. This does not mean that you have ceased to experience it. It's impossible. But you no longer Express it outwardly. No tears, no sadness, no sorrow. The energy released by the body seeking an outlet. Since she can't speak in a legal way (the mountain), it can go through the feelings that were permitted.
Well, for example, fear
. And then you become anxious and insecure. That is the fear more than the situation requires. Or joy
. And then you laugh at your own loss, gradually turning into a sad clown, a mask which allowed to withdraw only in the cramped dressing room, alone. Or anger. And then you turn into a constantly angry person who is angry for no reason. If your family was denied all the feelings
(which is quite often), then your body has to take responsibility for their accommodation.
It is not necessary to say that the clinic becomes your second home. In addition to allowing for the expression of feeling we need to parents have taught us to do it right.
Supported us in this process so that we may seek and accept support in adult life.The main law in understanding the process of grief is that
WE can SURVIVE ANY LOSS. WHEN ADEQUATE SUPPORT.
Then there are people who died "of grief" just doesn't have the necessary support. Neither external nor internal. Their domestic parents were cold and cruel, but outside help was not enough. I put quotation marks is not accidental. Literally, from sorrow to die not. Can you die from diseases caused by feelings, or unconsciously let the world kill itself.
What about the humanity?
THERE IS NO DEATH. HAPPY END.Mankind was not always afraid of death.
Once it was respected. People have always believed in its divine origin and understand that there is a great vision about the human soul.
So, its existence cannot be limited to a few decades. That is, transformation happens all the time and our soul travels through time, changing its shell. All spiritual practices see death as a transition and a natural stage in the growth of the spirit. Never before has so much attention body shell has not been paid as of the last couple of hundred years. The more we move away the material, the more we lose something without which life becomes worse and worse.
We have lost respect for death. And that means more to grieve about. Sadness has become an unnecessary attribute.Humanity wants to be happy, not sad
. "Wipe your tears and rejoice!" History must end with the happy end, the hero cannot die, but good triumphs over evil. Death is always evil, so it should be avoided in any way. Fairy tale gone "dead" water. And people are naive to expect that they will be saved the living. We have forgotten and ceased to grieve properly. THIS IS THE MAIN CAUSE OF DEPRESSION.
That's why it can be called a product of civilization. And that's why my grandmother would say "with fat you get mad, go business loans" in response to my complaints about depression. But I can't say that to your customers. I know that their suffering is painful and not invented.The avoidance of pain of loss, and in fact the fear of death has led humanity to the fact that the sadness left in the unconscious. And there it turned into a depression.
This transformation did normal sadness excessive and painful. Depression is essentially a chronic sadness. From the point of view of conservation of the energy balance will be interesting to see where the energy leaks in depression? After all, the classic depression looks like a fall: of mood, activity, self-esteem, life prospects, the ability to think.
It is like a deep river in violation of the ecology goes underground. This is a very symbolic action that will help us to decipher the tale.STORIES ABOUT DEPRESSION
Stories about depression a lot. This means that humanity has always understood the importance of the process of grief, and gave people the necessary advice through this form as tales. This is the most direct way to get into the unconscious knowledge of life. Faith helps people to gain knowledge faster and easier. Modern man wants to understand and explain from a materialist position, and therefore lost a huge storehouse of the wisdom in fairy tales, legends, myths. And children now listen to adult stories about invented characters who have nothing in common with the archetypal characters. And they contain information about the world structure, mechanisms, relationships, and more, what we need to learn in childhood to become strong adults.
But ignorance is no excuse. And still the world rapes Sleeping beauties (in the tale it is regularly used road Prince, she even children in the dream gave birth to), the Ugly ducklings do not find their Swan flocks, and in the swamps drown the heroes. A swamp in a fairy tale one of the most common images of which symbolizes the stage of grief or depression. And at the bottom of the swamp, as we know, kept the Golden key. Symbolically the key the answer to the question. And Golden key, the wise answer is, "weight in gold". And he will get only those who will overcome the fear of pain from sorrow. In other tales the hero needs to go to hell. There he will produce something without which it is impossible to reach a successful end. And only a few manage to pass this test. Cannot be holistic without this feat. And it is more complicated than behead dragons or catch the wind. Thus, the character will have to grow up, faced with the depression and cope with it. Can not be avoided.
And now the main intrigue. What kind of question the answer to which is so necessary to find? That's not what you're doomed to depression?
It's not a secret question. Moreover, I'm sure you know him.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?We are organized in such a way that the search for meaning is a natural need of human consciousness.
Therefore, we begin to suffer from the loss of meaning in the meaningful early childhood. All these children's questions of "why" is just about it. But if we didn't answer, then we could cease to ask them. There comes a time when the hunger for meaning becomes unbearable. Finding meaning in material things, in other people, in any kind of attachment, we are doomed to the pain of loss. All this is temporary and fickle.
Should we just get attached to something or to someone, how it might end. And only the ability to survive the loss and the understanding of meaning can help us cope with the pain.DEPRESSION AS A LIFE SCRIPTClaude Steiner has described three basic life script: "without love", "without reason" and "without joy". Here is what he writes about the scenario "without joy":"Most "civilized" people do not feel pain nor joy could bring them the body.
An extreme degree of alienation from his body is addicted to drugs, but normal, not addicted people (especially men) are exposed to it no less. They feel no love, no ecstasy, they do not know to cry, unable to hate.
Their whole life takes place in their head. The head is the center of a human being, an intelligent computer that controls stupid body. The body is viewed only as a machine, its purpose is considered working (or execution of other orders of the head). Feelings, pleasant or unpleasant, are considered an obstacle for its normal functioning."People truly suffering from depression, this attitude to the body and to the senses typical.
And often their depression is hidden. And their whole life is aimed at removing stress from a lack of joy. Yes, to experience the joy that other, as a healthy need. And the dissatisfaction of needs will inevitably cause stress and, as a result, the pain.
Life becomes the search for "cure" for pain relief. It may be real drugs or chemicals, and can be different actions, Hobbies, relationships.
Where only people from depression, not running! In work, in relationships, and all sorts of courses, and games, and travel. And is very difficult to distinguish whether it brings joy or just relieve pain. Therefore, every active manifestation of the I am a professional eye looking for signs of depression. And very glad, when not find. But it is, unfortunately, rare. So, we live in a deceptive fog hiding the depression from the eyes. To admit not that ashamed. The problem is that the man himself doesn't understand what he's depressed.
Because to admit it means to be a part of it. And people are afraid to experience pain. So go around the edge of the swamp all his life knee-deep in mud, in circles, in a state of illusion that everything is not so bad.
Yes, somewhere there is solid ground, warm sand, the mountains and the sea, but not so bad here, why take the risk?.. The problem is that it is impossible to turn around immediately and step on solid pure soil. Have a swamp to cross, and it's too dangerous. It is important to know that the risk does not depend on the depths of the swamp, and from support in this way.We don't die from depression, we kills only our fear to ask for help.
Remember the parable of the Hodja, in which he saved a rich Bai, drowning in the city fountain? The crowd tried to save him and shouted: "give me your hand!" And Nasruddin said, "at hand". And so we become greedy to ourselves and not give a helping hand, to help us, even when we are in a crowd of people ready to help.
MANDATORY DEPRESSIONIn life there are phases when no depression is not enough. And the most important is the mid — life crisis.
The stage, which is similar to the pass on the mountain which you climbed and which now will descend.
Life is more than a half and without a proper review of the accumulated baggage of the second half of it can be similar to a nice descent and a fall. Depression of this period is inevitable. We have to say goodbye to youth, physical strength, uporovsky from the nest children starissime or dead parents.But the most important thing with illusions. Not all found. Moreover, the end is in sight. Yes, he is far away but visible.
And the reality stands before us in all its clarity and rigidity.And if not to say goodbye to illusions, the descent threatens to falls and fractures.
Any experienced climber will tell you that the descent is more dangerous than the ascent. And relax not succeed. But if the person too tired during the ascent, he finally want to let go of yourself and easily slide down the hill. Then we will see rapid aging and death. Depression helps us to stay on this pass and find answers to questions without which you cannot pass. The path must be an adult and aware.
Then there is the opportunity to enjoy the descent with controlled risk. And this pleasure is very different from a child's carefree joy. If people live long without joy, fulfilling the expectations of others climbed the hill, then it hard to force myself to do a little more work to change strategy. Therefore, most clients of psychologists and psychotherapists — people of the middle ages. However, they do not come to work, and for a magic elixir, which will remove the pain and not make work. Those who survive the disappointment that this elixir is not in the external world and seek it will have within itself, the crisis and overcome.
Most will accept the "pain" and continue to numb the pain of depression.DEPRESSION — YOUR CHANCE
A bit of good news in the end. There are two States in which we have the opportunity to learn about yourself: love and depression.
The first plus sign, the second negative. In both States there are consequences. Who knows what more good or bad. So do not waste time to escape from depression if she caught up with you. Try to use it on recognition itself and the search for meaning.
The law of life in the family of the alcoholic: if you don't take care of myself, no one about you will not careOne of the main lessons that you must pass And remember, an escape from depression is a sure way to walk in a circle.
It is better to think about how to do this time is not so horrible. You will help simple things: body care, music, nature, communication with animals. It is auxiliary means. And yet, find yourself a good psychologist. He will sit on the Bank of the swamp and wait until you are looking for the Golden key. Believe me, it is most important that someone is willing to understand what is happening and to stay with you no matter what.published
Author: Alla Dalit