361
All poor people the same claim to life
Expectations are a major factor in determining our reality. If we do not believe in your success, you are unlikely ever going to achieve anything.
In one study conducted in Louisiana state University, found that people who believe in themselves, use more meta-cognitive functions than people who don't believe in yourself. This means that the first much better than the second, use your brain, have more mental powers at its disposal, and therefore better and faster to cope with problems. Meta-cognitive processes play a special role in achieving the objectives, as they allow us to consider the problem from different sides and, if anything, to adapt to change.
It is also worth mentioning that our expectations affect not only our own reality but other people. In the distant 60-ies at Harvard University conducted a study that demonstrated how much people are dependent on other people's opinions. Randomly selected students who teachers specifically praised the lessons, suddenly started it is much better to learn. Moreover, these students also showed better results on standardized IQ tests.
Indeed, we discover the best in others, in which we really believe.
The reason is the following:
If you allow doubts to cloud your faith in someone (or something), then you almost any case doomed to failure. In medical environment, this effect is called "nocebo", in contrast to the effect of "placebo". In patients that do not believe in the effectiveness of passable their treatment takes more time and effort to recover than those who trust the doctor and confident in his fast recovery.
Our expectations define our reality. They can radically change us and our lives, both emotionally and physically. Treat life positively and try not to nurture negative expectations without any reason – it would be better for you and others.
Life should be fair
We all know that life is unfair, we've heard it a million times, have seen and experienced the unfairness of life itself. However, most of us are somewhere on a subconscious level, believes that life must be fair, and that the black stripe is sure to be white, and that all the suffering we have been through, will come back to us in the form of joy and happiness in the future, even if we ourselves can't do.
With this mindset you will not get far – it's time to grow up and change your perception towards something more realistic. When life gets to you "unfair" everything is falling apart and goes awry, do not expect that soon things will start to improve.
Life is not giving away, no consolation prizes, and the sooner you realize this, the faster you will begin to take some steps yourself to change your life for the better – instead of having to sit and wait for manna from heaven.
Opportunities will appear by themselves
Wrong. Need to look for opportunities. If you "deserve" increase, it does not mean that you necessarily will. You must make sure that you gave it. Do not wait until someone "above" you will notice and say, "yeah, this guy is very good and a lot of work, it's time to make his Department head!".
Even if it happens that, in principle, it is unlikely you will continue to rely on someone else's mercy. You must act for yourself, and think:
Nobody is perfect, and even the most modest, decent and good people have their detractors, and always someone there doesn't like, maybe even for no particular reason. If you think that everybody likes (because you are so wonderful), you yourself set the stage for disappointment.
You should not rely on foreign assistance only on the basis that you think that you are such a nice, positive and helpful person – maybe that's why you have someone quietly hates.
So instead everyone will enjoy, try to earn the trust and respect of others.
Everyone should agree with me
It may sound cruel, but many people have even not taken seriously, and if they agree with you, only on the basis of comity, or just wish you were behind.
Yes, you could a great idea or a thought and you rush to share it with the world, but the world looks at you with confusion and some surprise. The fact that what may be perfectly obvious to you may not be quite so obvious to other people, which is probably a very different experience and view of things in General.
Do not consider yourself right about everything, and certainly should not impose on others their point of view. Instead, try to find a solution that will satisfy everyone.
They know what I mean
We have not yet reached the stage of evolution that would allow us to communicate telepathically, and therefore are forced to use language as a means of communication. If you are expecting that people will start to understand you with a couple of words, and immediately catch the essence that you so "diligently" trying to convey, be ready to understand you will be quite wrong, or I understand only half of it, or not understood at all.
You must learn to Express their thoughts clearly, plainly, emphatically, and explain things fully and – if you believe that any material needs no explanation, it does not mean that the way it is.
You need to consider the process of communication not only from the perspective of the speaker, but from the perspective of the listener, and adapt to last, if you really want to convey something to the people.
I have nothing
We already talked about the fact that if you set yourself up for failure, themselves and reducing their chances for success. Even if you make a mistake, you just need to accept the fact that once you get it right, and when we don't. This is normal.
Take mistakes as a lesson and move on.
Here you will get "xxx" and I will be happy
Things that make life more comfortable, but no more happiness they could not produce, because they give only momentary flashes of pleasure. A promotion at work is also unlikely to make you happy, if you was a man deeply unhappy.
No matter how to change your life on an external level – inside you will feel the same emptiness as before.
In order to change something inside, it is necessary to change something inside – many of us do not wish to accept this obvious truth.
I can change him/her
There's only one person you can truly change is yourself – and even that requires enormous effort. People only change if they themselves want, and then only with appropriate moral and material resources.
However, many people think that they can force their own will to break the will (or willpower) to someone else, and change the person who does not want change. You can even search specifically for "troubled" people, with the aim to "fix". So – it does not work.
Better surround yourself with sincere, interesting and positive people and avoid those who will pull you down.
Also interesting: Help with depression: how and how not to. 7 simple recipes
No need to change what works
Believe in yourself – so you will always have more chances to reach success. And the road to success was easier, get rid of unnecessary illusion and error of perception.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: mixstuff.ru/archives/107695
In one study conducted in Louisiana state University, found that people who believe in themselves, use more meta-cognitive functions than people who don't believe in yourself. This means that the first much better than the second, use your brain, have more mental powers at its disposal, and therefore better and faster to cope with problems. Meta-cognitive processes play a special role in achieving the objectives, as they allow us to consider the problem from different sides and, if anything, to adapt to change.
It is also worth mentioning that our expectations affect not only our own reality but other people. In the distant 60-ies at Harvard University conducted a study that demonstrated how much people are dependent on other people's opinions. Randomly selected students who teachers specifically praised the lessons, suddenly started it is much better to learn. Moreover, these students also showed better results on standardized IQ tests.
Indeed, we discover the best in others, in which we really believe.
The reason is the following:
- We treat them better than those who have, we believe, nothing happens.
- People, in whose success we are sure we can provide more opportunities for growth than those who we think are obvious losers.
- We pay them, give them advice and teach them what we know ourselves, because we believe that wasting our time is not wasted.
If you allow doubts to cloud your faith in someone (or something), then you almost any case doomed to failure. In medical environment, this effect is called "nocebo", in contrast to the effect of "placebo". In patients that do not believe in the effectiveness of passable their treatment takes more time and effort to recover than those who trust the doctor and confident in his fast recovery.
Our expectations define our reality. They can radically change us and our lives, both emotionally and physically. Treat life positively and try not to nurture negative expectations without any reason – it would be better for you and others.
Life should be fair
We all know that life is unfair, we've heard it a million times, have seen and experienced the unfairness of life itself. However, most of us are somewhere on a subconscious level, believes that life must be fair, and that the black stripe is sure to be white, and that all the suffering we have been through, will come back to us in the form of joy and happiness in the future, even if we ourselves can't do.
With this mindset you will not get far – it's time to grow up and change your perception towards something more realistic. When life gets to you "unfair" everything is falling apart and goes awry, do not expect that soon things will start to improve.
Life is not giving away, no consolation prizes, and the sooner you realize this, the faster you will begin to take some steps yourself to change your life for the better – instead of having to sit and wait for manna from heaven.
Opportunities will appear by themselves
Wrong. Need to look for opportunities. If you "deserve" increase, it does not mean that you necessarily will. You must make sure that you gave it. Do not wait until someone "above" you will notice and say, "yeah, this guy is very good and a lot of work, it's time to make his Department head!".
Even if it happens that, in principle, it is unlikely you will continue to rely on someone else's mercy. You must act for yourself, and think:
- "what is the next step I should take?",
- "what bothers me and how do I get rid of this?",
- "what did I do wrong, once I got off the intended path?"
Nobody is perfect, and even the most modest, decent and good people have their detractors, and always someone there doesn't like, maybe even for no particular reason. If you think that everybody likes (because you are so wonderful), you yourself set the stage for disappointment.
You should not rely on foreign assistance only on the basis that you think that you are such a nice, positive and helpful person – maybe that's why you have someone quietly hates.
So instead everyone will enjoy, try to earn the trust and respect of others.
Everyone should agree with me
It may sound cruel, but many people have even not taken seriously, and if they agree with you, only on the basis of comity, or just wish you were behind.
Yes, you could a great idea or a thought and you rush to share it with the world, but the world looks at you with confusion and some surprise. The fact that what may be perfectly obvious to you may not be quite so obvious to other people, which is probably a very different experience and view of things in General.
Do not consider yourself right about everything, and certainly should not impose on others their point of view. Instead, try to find a solution that will satisfy everyone.
They know what I mean
We have not yet reached the stage of evolution that would allow us to communicate telepathically, and therefore are forced to use language as a means of communication. If you are expecting that people will start to understand you with a couple of words, and immediately catch the essence that you so "diligently" trying to convey, be ready to understand you will be quite wrong, or I understand only half of it, or not understood at all.
You must learn to Express their thoughts clearly, plainly, emphatically, and explain things fully and – if you believe that any material needs no explanation, it does not mean that the way it is.
You need to consider the process of communication not only from the perspective of the speaker, but from the perspective of the listener, and adapt to last, if you really want to convey something to the people.
I have nothing
We already talked about the fact that if you set yourself up for failure, themselves and reducing their chances for success. Even if you make a mistake, you just need to accept the fact that once you get it right, and when we don't. This is normal.
Take mistakes as a lesson and move on.
Here you will get "xxx" and I will be happy
Things that make life more comfortable, but no more happiness they could not produce, because they give only momentary flashes of pleasure. A promotion at work is also unlikely to make you happy, if you was a man deeply unhappy.
No matter how to change your life on an external level – inside you will feel the same emptiness as before.
In order to change something inside, it is necessary to change something inside – many of us do not wish to accept this obvious truth.
I can change him/her
There's only one person you can truly change is yourself – and even that requires enormous effort. People only change if they themselves want, and then only with appropriate moral and material resources.
However, many people think that they can force their own will to break the will (or willpower) to someone else, and change the person who does not want change. You can even search specifically for "troubled" people, with the aim to "fix". So – it does not work.
Better surround yourself with sincere, interesting and positive people and avoid those who will pull you down.
Also interesting: Help with depression: how and how not to. 7 simple recipes
No need to change what works
Believe in yourself – so you will always have more chances to reach success. And the road to success was easier, get rid of unnecessary illusion and error of perception.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: mixstuff.ru/archives/107695
