Now a lot of talk about how life is formed, revolve around a theme, lucky in life or not. It is a hot topic, because the role udacnik and losers is very active is in the community. The loser, in the eyes of society, it is almost hopeless creature will never get in life. You can find in stores and online a huge number of different books on how to overcome the villain's fate, but few people believe in the effectiveness of these boards. It is considered that "loser" is almost a congenital condition, which will not do anything.
The idea of "udacnik" and losers like every narcissistic idea has no boundaries and indicators. It is possible at low voltage fantasies to find any person any signs of a loser. A millionaire? But lone. Or sick. Or a big, fat jerk. Or something else. And then he had a small factory competitor is pressed. Loser!
© "Unlucky" — Comedy feature film 2003.
But in fact, often the rating of your luck comes from man himself. After all, every individual wants the good luck and success, and the parameters of these States individually. Someone the family is important, someone's career. If desired not, you can safely call yourself a loser. In General, people consider themselves losers and from all this trouble.
Typical loser is the person chronically devalues himself or lower his dignity with a masterfully developed skills of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can be of different strength. In some cases people can't afford and move to everything in your life, not to ruin, and sometimes quite strongly succeeds on different life arenas, but from time to time with the roar slide down the social ladder or publicly sits in a puddle.
Some of the losers can be described as quiet, some boisterous. As nature is diverse, and transient options are. Quiet can quite quietly and methodically ruin his life by the destruction of the family and zavalivanija deadlines, and "violent" can do so very loudly with Napalm and carpet bombing. If you fall into hell, to pull for an all enemies.
Thus, the losers are different, but have a number of similarities:
1. With any, even the slightest failure they panic and anger. Aggression directed at themselves and others. At last longer. Losers often find themselves hostage to a bad fate, victims, kind, but gullible. Their goodness using and then wipe their feet on.
Others do not need to be particularly guilty. Some unknown citizen can purchase a nose loser last dozen eggs. And why? But because this villain-the stranger from afar, he realized that he was dealing with a loser. In the dairy Department this scoundrel has deliberately went for overtaking, clipped to the accident and grabbed the egg carton. And here is the ugly type is to the cashier with a straight face, but inside is laughing ominously. Well, it's grotesque, but still, often comes to such paranoia. In mild cases, escaped from the hands of the eggs spoil the mood and serve as a reminder of the eternal life failures.
2. In General, life for them is very unfair. After all, the loser deserve the very best, but surrounded by enemies. They capture the best places and resources. You can't trust anyone. Even the best friend who can eat the last candy out of the bowls or win the Lotto. So as soon as something bad happens in life, it is a sign that somewhere lurking enemies. We must find them, to punish, to catch up and punished again. And remember the villains always. Today, the Lotto win, and tomorrow a knife in the back thrust.
3. It is difficult for them to Express their opinions or formulate their personal desires or to form personal dreams. For them, happiness is the only wealth objects that you can touch. Ie no one disputes the existence of a yacht or house in Switzerland.
If you have no such life to the full, they Have causes a lot of sarcasm and ridicule any hint that it is possible to feel happy without a yacht. Unthinkable to believe that someone is happy in marriage and without boats. These people are constantly in the process of verification of their signs of well-being and comparing them with other people. Sometimes when they obnarujivayut its advantage over the other, they briefly let go. In General, they are constantly in competition with someone, someone to catch up or surpass.
4. People are basically configured to search for the negative. They concentrate in my head failures. They have lowered self-esteem. Even if all of them better than others, they will find the negative. No cons, they definitely can come up with.
5. Often behave arrogantly, laughing and mocking others, seek out signs of failure, and gossip.
Often, in childhood they instill a sense of obligatory competition with everything it is theoretically possible to compete. Parents say that there is in nature such children, which are better and should they be, to fight, to be the same and even better. And relax! Sat a moment and got ahead and you swallow the dust behind.
In school, they are isolated and they are constantly pecking peers for each failure. Even if a child does the same as all the others, his failures may cause harassment of classmates. In addition, the reasons of feeling like a loser can serve as academic underachievement, body image and financial failure of the family which can not give the child the same material signs of wealth, and the other children. Yes, it may seem to many adults, the vulgar philistinism, but for children in the children's team, even giving the right colors can be a opportunity to feel like included in the team.
And even if a child were all good, man can feel himself a failure as an adult. Yes, it is the influence of the surrounding society, which dictates the values. Plus quite a long negative feedback from the outside world can change the attitude of man to himself.
What to do with it?
1. In the beginning it is necessary to define what is success and how you need it in this form appears to be. Whether a yacht makes you happy the rest of your life? Or still need to be happy something else?
2. To actively look for both the upside and strengths. But so: found plus and immediately silenced his criticism.
3. Write the scenario in which you yourself ridicule and deleted the victim, and from other enemies. Do a rewrite and tragedy turn into something more optimistichno work. And in that case if you are again sliding to the familiar genre, again overwrite it.
4. Force yourself to count your blessings in the first place. Find and write down what made the day good. And even if it turned out badly, you still need to think that this can be good. Sometimes even a silly stretch of positive emotions makes life touches of melancholy, and absolutely hopeless.
5. Show the sympathy. Who do you regret it and you will understand, except you.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki