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9 Missed Factors in Divorce Decision
In the family, the first decision that comes to mind is often divorce. For several years people live in a marriage "conscientiously" destroying the relationship, and then they visit the "genius" idea: you need to divorce! For some reason, it is believed that if there is no person (a hated spouse) nearby, then there is no problem. As they say, “Out of sight, out of heart.”
It is good if they come for advice to a psychologist, often to a friend or friend.
At the same time, there is almost no person who, wishing to divorce, does not dream of a new relationship. Even if in the current moment it is unbearably bad and it seems that there will never be a place for a partner nearby, time will pass and you will want intimacy, love and understanding, but just banal sex. And the imagination pulls out beautiful pictures of a happy family life with another person.
But you forget that:
1. If you don’t know how to build a relationship, and you’ve been training to break it for years, what’s the probability that you’ll easily have a happy relationship with another person?
2. If you can’t agree with a well-known and once-loved person, then why would you be able to easily create agreements with a stranger?
3. What a sleigh. Your partner, no matter how disgusted you are, is a reflection of your inner world, outlook and lifestyle. Having parted with your spouse and not changed, you will surely find an exact copy of it. Studies show that each one is worse than the previous one. After all, you remained the same, and even with a baggage of negative experiences!
Even if the partner turns out to be a completely different person, your relationship will soon begin to resemble the previous ones, as you use the same behaviors and ways of communicating as in the first marriage.
“I tried three times to start a family. It seems that the woman next to him is the same. It was like she was changing her name, dying her hair and having plastic surgery.
4. Chances are, during your marriage, you lost your flirting and attention-grabbing skills. After the divorce, you will have to rediscover. But what is normal for a twenty-year-old is not good for a thirty- or forty-year-old.
5. Your social circle has changed a lot. There is no longer an abundance of single/unmarried people around you.
6. Now, in addition to experience, age and lack of skills, you have a lot of responsibilities: work and children. Time is catastrophically lacking for routine affairs, and you need to find time to bring yourself into shape, to meet and communicate.
7. Perhaps the reason for thinking about divorce was a relationship on the side. Don't be deceived! The eternal holiday with your mistress will end as soon as you live together. The same routine will begin. Lovers are even worse. The illusion of marriage dissipates like a fog, with which the passionate lover disappears from your life. You were interesting to him as long as your marriage was his guarantee of freedom.
8. Divorce, living after divorce and creating new relationships will require an incredible amount of resources: internal strength, money and time.
9. Divorce is a traumatic situation not only for children, but also for you.
If you are in the process of making a divorce decision, come for a personal or marriage consultation. “Killing the beast” is not always the best way out. Could it be easier to repair a relationship and make it happy?
You can start with a clean slate with your partner: look at him as a stranger and discover the best qualities and new facets of personality in him.
When divorce is inevitable:
Why are some women given gifts and others not?
The Ringelman effect is invincible!
If you need the help of a psychologist, come to the consultation in person or online.
If you have already divorced, then come to make cardinal changes in your life and not make a mistake in choosing again.
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Source: liwli.ru/relations/story/ubit-zverya-9-upushchennykh-faktorov-v-prinyatii-resheniya-o-razvode-48446.html
It is good if they come for advice to a psychologist, often to a friend or friend.
- What can a single friend recommend? “Keep him in the neck, why do you need such a goat?”
- What is the opinion of a married but unhappy marriage friend? - Of course, get divorced! One is so cool.
- Mom will say something like, “Take it easy, you have kids.” That's how everyone lives”.
- The father will decide that "go back, we'll do it ourselves" is the best solution.
At the same time, there is almost no person who, wishing to divorce, does not dream of a new relationship. Even if in the current moment it is unbearably bad and it seems that there will never be a place for a partner nearby, time will pass and you will want intimacy, love and understanding, but just banal sex. And the imagination pulls out beautiful pictures of a happy family life with another person.
But you forget that:
1. If you don’t know how to build a relationship, and you’ve been training to break it for years, what’s the probability that you’ll easily have a happy relationship with another person?
2. If you can’t agree with a well-known and once-loved person, then why would you be able to easily create agreements with a stranger?
3. What a sleigh. Your partner, no matter how disgusted you are, is a reflection of your inner world, outlook and lifestyle. Having parted with your spouse and not changed, you will surely find an exact copy of it. Studies show that each one is worse than the previous one. After all, you remained the same, and even with a baggage of negative experiences!
Even if the partner turns out to be a completely different person, your relationship will soon begin to resemble the previous ones, as you use the same behaviors and ways of communicating as in the first marriage.
“I tried three times to start a family. It seems that the woman next to him is the same. It was like she was changing her name, dying her hair and having plastic surgery.
4. Chances are, during your marriage, you lost your flirting and attention-grabbing skills. After the divorce, you will have to rediscover. But what is normal for a twenty-year-old is not good for a thirty- or forty-year-old.
5. Your social circle has changed a lot. There is no longer an abundance of single/unmarried people around you.
6. Now, in addition to experience, age and lack of skills, you have a lot of responsibilities: work and children. Time is catastrophically lacking for routine affairs, and you need to find time to bring yourself into shape, to meet and communicate.
7. Perhaps the reason for thinking about divorce was a relationship on the side. Don't be deceived! The eternal holiday with your mistress will end as soon as you live together. The same routine will begin. Lovers are even worse. The illusion of marriage dissipates like a fog, with which the passionate lover disappears from your life. You were interesting to him as long as your marriage was his guarantee of freedom.
8. Divorce, living after divorce and creating new relationships will require an incredible amount of resources: internal strength, money and time.
9. Divorce is a traumatic situation not only for children, but also for you.
If you are in the process of making a divorce decision, come for a personal or marriage consultation. “Killing the beast” is not always the best way out. Could it be easier to repair a relationship and make it happy?
You can start with a clean slate with your partner: look at him as a stranger and discover the best qualities and new facets of personality in him.
When divorce is inevitable:
- If you are in a destructive relationship with an alcoholic, drug addict or gambler. You can't save him. He'll be gone without you? So that's his choice.
- If your partner is a psychopath, you are a victim of physical or other forms of abuse. Every 40 minutes a woman dies at the hands of her partner. Prisons are full of repentant murderers, and orphanages are full of children left without parents. Don't expect a miracle.
Why are some women given gifts and others not?
The Ringelman effect is invincible!
If you need the help of a psychologist, come to the consultation in person or online.
If you have already divorced, then come to make cardinal changes in your life and not make a mistake in choosing again.
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Source: liwli.ru/relations/story/ubit-zverya-9-upushchennykh-faktorov-v-prinyatii-resheniya-o-razvode-48446.html
