Don'T turn the soul inside out!

A few years ago I published with the permission of its customers the pieces of their biographies on family violence in the 70-80-ies. This text had such powerful resonance that even now sometimes, to come comments.

Over the years, digest a huge number of different revelations of their own and others, I concluded that any sincerity must have a pragmatic goal, which involve concrete actions that can change the situation, because turning souls inside out leads to negative consequences if it is done just for the audience or if it's just the momentum of any, even very good intentions: because eat someone's soul to fly a lot of hungry vultures, this time, and two triple it unsafe for the person who confessed. For revelation you need a special and safe context, I think.



 

I can afford to be completely sincere and honest only if I know exactly what I will get from myself, I will be able to defend the onslaught of others ' emotional reactions. And if you can't, then why would all this exhibitionism.

It's a double-edged sword, even if you are aware about the boundaries of others.

Knowledge of the existence of personal boundaries does not mean that you are able to recognize themselves and other boundaries, as well as what your boundaries are adequate. For example, if you burned the previous injury, then your boundaries are not adequate any approaching people, or actively moving close to you, is doomed to hurt you.

And if you don't cure your wounds, but only squeals against the other, they say, they violate your boundaries and go on your sore spot, then you become a tyrant, next to which the most loving person, if he is not sacrificing his mental health for the sake of the security of your burns, or will be forced to move away, or not retreating to encourage you to engage in your wounds, hurting you again and again for its mobility and proximity.

If you hurt to be with others when they live the way they want to live, you have two ways — either to isolate themselves from everyone, or to treat his burns.

A contact is when two people make a step towards each other, not when one is the victim, and the other a tyrant in the representation of one or both of them. And in a situation where there is no adequate reason or where she is for various reasons impossible, both have high risk to get in the victim's position or in the position of a tyrant: accusing one of abuse his sincerity, and the other in not of care..

You can also be absolutely not able to recognize the boundaries and stepping on someone else's territory, if you believe that what suits you, the gander.

If normal for you to bleed, calling it honesty, and if you demand it from someone who doesn't think that he's OK with it — you are out of bounds. If you impose the other their values, rejecting his values are trespassing. Tragedy is when you do both.

Candor, in my opinion, appropriate where both (or the group if it's a group) are ready and able to digest it and make it useful and other insights. Then it makes sense.

 



The effect of Ringelman invincible!

There are people-chances...

The consciousness of each is highly subjective television that under no circumstances can not catch the absolute wave of another person and to predict that there will be safe and what is not.

And one only the world, sincerely expressed, can be subjected to deep danger even the most solid relationship, and what can we say about the contexts when no such relationship. published

 

Author: Nina Rubstein

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: rubstein.livejournal.com/1370420.html